Farewell my Panthasaurus...

[Tilo]

Sorry I haven't posted many updates on my Panthasaurus, here's what happened this past week however. to all who helped with moral support when I was having a hard time in July.

Edit to clarify ashdawns' inquiry -- Panthasaurus: think of a dinosaur which is large (I like dinosaurs), & a black panther (Merlin aka Gooba is a bombay, a large bombay aka panther), so Dinosaur + Panther = Panthasaurus

Edit just got him back from the crematory today



Merlin aka Gooba aka Panthasaurus 1995-2013 -- 18yrs of being a Panther...

August 22 2013
At 405p my Gooba, my son...my Panthasaurus...blew this popsicle stand, the Doc said jaundice was setting in & he had liver disease, but because his appetite was lacking & his urine was darkening earlier this week it could've been a number of other things, either way he did have liver disease.

We think perhaps he was older than we thought, so, perhaps 18... which makes him 89 in people years, so he was up there in years... either way, his life was long, & full, in part to my being his devoted Servant the past 16yrs of his life... which I wouldn't change for the world.

The Doc praised me when I said it was time for him, & that'd be terribly wrong if he passed away at home, or if I kept him around, for me.

I was very calm with him on the way there, probably cause I was a blithering idiot most of the week leading up to it, & the day of... he was rather good during the trip, just one meow, when we got there, he was unhappy ofcourse, but I comforted him, & told him it was ''all right'', I tried to hurry the process, because he really wasn't enjoying himself... I mean when did he go on a car ride except but for the vet?

Then I just pet him, held him close through out it all, told him that he should be rather pleased as this was his last vet visit, which made the vet tech, & Doc snicker a little, & when it was all said and done I wrapped him in his blanket I've wrapped him in so many times, just barely covering his nose which he had always liked.

I love you my Gooba, my Panthasaurus, & I always will.

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Merlin aka, Gooba was cremated on August 24th between 5-6am



Return from the crematory: Visiting the Crematory to pick up my Merlin aka Gooba. They were very considerate & enjoyed the thank you card I brought them, they had a wide variety of urns, but I'd already picked & bought one for him in May of this year. They also let me see the cremation chambers which only hold one, of course I couldn't get very close to them but I was allowed to take a few pictures.

They also had a few wonderful poodle dogs as well which were very friendly... Jim & his staff were wonderful.

The canister Gooba came in was just the right size to fit into his urn, was very thankful for that; the felt box that he came in holds his clay paw prints. it was very comforting to have him come home again...

[SpiritBinder]

I'm so very sorry for your loss Tilo.

He was really lucky to have such a loving parent and it really does sound like he had an great fulfilling life, please take solace in that. As for you final act of kindness, I don't know how you did it. I'm a bit of a mess having already read this and to think of what you had to do, it's something I don’t know if I could...

My thoughts are with you, big hugs.

[Wain]

I'm really sorry Tilo It sounds like he had a good, long life, and that he was very much loved and cared for. He was fortunate to have had you as his human. Take care.

[Chimera]

I had to step away from the thread for a while after I read it to try and pull myself back together before posting as I've had to do the very same thing with my 16 1/2 year old cat back in January 2012 and then deal with the loss of my bf's most beloved cat (he loves both his cats equally but the one that passed was the one who treated him like a brother and would perform cat like affectionate behavior to him such as groom and such) just a few weeks ago so I had quite the emotional bit trying to occupy myself with other distractions.

I have just absolutely no idea what to say, like, I have a bazillion thoughts I want to say to give support to you to help give comfort and closure but I'm such an emotional wreck right now I really can't say much aside from repeating what SpiritBinder, Wain, and probably everyone else after this post will say to help you through this time. I'm so sorry for your loss, but by the sounds of it he had a great life, a great human parent, and he was blessed to have someone such as yourself in his life who, unlike many due to emotional attachment, gave him peace before it progressed to worse conditions rather than let it drag on till he couldn't continue on.

[ashdawn]

sorry for breaking the tone but im extreamly confused, whats a panthasaurus?

sorry for your loss

[Dewclaw]

Sorry to hear of your loss. 18y is a good long life.

[Lisaara]

I'm sorry for your loss. He had a good, long life. You did the right thing. He's no longer suffering. Now he can just be your spirit guide without Jaundice plaguing him.

[Tilo]

"first"

Just a week ago today, my Gooba... together; we decided it was time for your mortal body & kitty spirit to part

A look here, a tear there, just a thought, even closing my eyes... I know you're always in my heart

You were a primo-catloaf, cruising, eating, batting, chasing, everything you wanted in your prime

Even in your golden years, I knew eventually our story together, the last chapter would end, & we were going to run out of time

Knowing your physical self isn't here, it'll be difficult to just go with the flow

A purr, a meow, a paw... I'm so thankful you were the first one... I got to know --Tilo©2013

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It is so, so hard for me right now... I put on a front for everyone else, even the people that I live with because they can't comprehend nor understand, "everything's ok I'm fine", "Gooba was just a Cat", which is far from the truth, Gooba was my kitty son, enough said. If I don't want to cry, I just want to be left alone, & besides believing my Goobas' kitty spirit visits me, is with me, & the dog, it's like I'm all alone with this, I'm so miserable. I cannot wait to get my kitty memory book so instead of having no one to talk to, I can scribble down what I'm thinking about my kitty son & the wonderful memories I have of him.

[Ana]

Cats are not just cats.. They become once children..... i can still cry when i recall my cats.. i miss them alot.

They take a HUGE part of your heart and your soul.

We take a huge responsiblity with pets.. and i commend you for ending your cats life in a humane way... its hard and heartbreaking.

Ohh little Panthasaurus.. you will be missed im sure.. i miss mine and cried when i read this

[Lisaara]

Our pets become our family, not just animals we happen to house. I had to put my boxer, Lady, down after she had a stroke a week before I started the 7th grade. That dog raised me like her own since I was a few months old. She's even saved my life a few times when she yanked me or herded me from the street in the driveway and the time a stray dog tried to attack me. She fought it off and made sure I was okay. She would check on me every night, even learning to open the gate and hide from my dad in the morning. If the power went out, she'd come get me, make sure I held her collar, then lead me to my parents' room. Losing her was the worst thing ever for me but I stuck with her til the bitter end. I still have her collar. Believe me, I've had two dogs since her and none have been able to replace her in my heart.

After we put her down, I avoided my house. I couldn't go home without Lady to do her silly howl when I walk in the door. I stayed with my best friend and her Golden Retriever, Chomper, never left my side. She knew how sad I was and knew I needed comfort. My first day of class, my 7th grade science teacher mentioned something about dog food and I just started to silently cry. The teacher's aid noticed and pulled me aside to let me bawl in the empty room next door. My teacher felt so bad when I mentioned it but I told her it was okay, she didn't know.

So believe me, I know how you feel. We all do as animal lovers. Hell I'm tearing up just typing this cause I miss Lady so much. It's painful. I like to think Lady's spirit is still with me just as Goomba is with you. I sometimes would hear the gate open mysteriously or the jingle of her collar. I'd feel weight on my legs where she'd lay sometimes when she snuck into bed with me. I bet your Goomba will be there for you too, even if in spirit.

[Tilo]

Thank you... the fact that others feel the same way about theirs; doesn't make me feel as alone, but it's still difficult at times.

Honestly I believe I see him, in his plump younger self, but whispy... & it's happy, but I keep those tidbits to myself, because all I get from my guy is 'I don't see him, it's probably your mind believing you see him through your grieving.'... Some help that is.

Sorry though you all, it's just hard sometimes... & it's only been a week, ''grumbles'', I've got a dog, but she doesn't need as much caring for as my Gooba did, so it's just that absence, that really hurts.

[Lisaara]

Thank you... the fact that others feel the same way about theirs; doesn't make me feel as alone, but it's still difficult at times.

Honestly I believe I see him, in his plump younger self, but whispy... & it's happy, but I keep those tidbits to myself, because all I get from my guy is 'I don't see him, it's probably your mind believing you see him through your grieving.'... Some help that is.

Sorry though you all, it's just hard sometimes... & it's only been a week, ''grumbles'', I've got a dog, but she doesn't need as much caring for as my Gooba did, so it's just that absence, that really hurts.

Phooey on them. He probably only wants to be seen by you anyways. Pets become our familiars in the spirit realm. Our guides and guardians.

The first week is always the hardest. It gets a bit easier later on but you'll always miss them.