Pet Question I'd Appreciate Answered.

[Falcon]

I know I'm not well liked around here, but I have a question I've been milling over for a while now, and I apologize about the vague sounding title, but I couldn't find a good way to word my question short enough for an appropriate title. I miss having a dog, and being a small person who's arthritic, my choices are limited, then my boyfriend suggested that we get another Shih Tzu puppy.

I say another because I owned a Shih Tzu back when I lived with my adoptive parents, named China. She was a gift from one of my aunts, and I practically grew up with her and I loved her very much. When I moved out back in 2003, I was unable to bring her with me because the apartment my boyfriend and I moved into didn't allow dogs, which made me upset, but we were running out of options for a place to live and I didn't want to go back home because the relationship I had with my adoptive mother was strained enough as it is.

China had to be put down back in 2007 since she was blind, old, and getting senile, and I was unable to be there when it was done because I live more than one state away, and I wasn't told until a month later. I still feel terrible about being unable to be there with her in her final moments, and I'll always feel that I betrayed her by leaving when I did. She lived to be fourteen, which is pretty much the maximum lifespan for her breed. Even though it's been six years, I haven't completely gotten over her loss, and I still become depressed when October rolls around since that's when she was put down.

So, would getting another Shih Tzu be a good idea? Part of me wants to, but the rest of me doesn't want to betray China's memory by replacing her. Would it be replacing her?

[Bowno]

I think that you should go ahead and do it if you feel that is the right choice for you. Do not worry about 'replacing' China. You will never be able to replace China. It sounds like she was a lovely dog who you loved very very much. Those types of relationships can not be replaced. You will always remember them and always cherish them.
Having a new dog won't change that. You will make new memories of this new dog while still having the ones of China.
Do not worry that 'her spirit will be upset' if you get a new dog. If you believe in such things being possible (who knows, it could be!), just remember how much your dog loved you. I assume she did. ;P And if China did love you, then she will understand that while you miss her and love her very much, you want to give another dog a chance at having a loving happy home just as you did with her. She will know you are not replacing her.

I hope that makes sense and hopefully helps a little bit.
I am sorry for your loss with China. It's hard when you can't be there for the final moments, I know.

[Dewclaw]

China would want you to be happy. You can never replace her, don't try. You can, however, love another dog. <3

[Falcon]

Thanks, you two, your responses really mean a lot. I'm going to wait and see if anyone else gives their opinion before I gave a say on my choice. I still tear up whenever I think about her, she was the only one who truly cared for me during my childhood, the few friends I had who didn't like dogs liked her because she was so sweet and good-natured. Again, thank you for your responses.

[Mozag]

Firstly, Falcon, I sincerely doubt anyone here thinks badly of you. I know I certainly don't.

Secondly, I agree with the other two. China would never want you to be unhappy. Don't forget the unconditional love a dog has for its master and friend. A new dog, even of the same breed, can't ever replace her, but your heart can, and will, expand to fit in this new Shih Tzu. I see it as a great honour to China that she loved you so well, and you her, that the breed remains this special in your heart. Why shouldn't you share your life and love with another?

I have had many dogs throughout my childhood, teens and adult years, and while none of them was yet "the one", each and every one of them has left their paw marks on my heart. I do not ever think any of them replaced another, and all will remain vividly in my memory till the day I die, special in their own personal ways.

[Cristiana-Wolf]

Don't worry, adopting another dog won't replace dear China. But it can fill that empty hole in your heart and bring back that same happiness that you experienced with your first little Shih Tzu by adopting another.

[SpiritBinder]

1st of all, I don’t think people want to hear "I know I'm not well liked around here". It's just not needed and will make people question/double guess who or what your about. You instantly paint yourself in a negative light and it's completely unnecessary. I for one know nothing of any gripe between you or any others, and I’d like to keep it that way, you’ve always seemed quite sweet to me. If you do have issues with people or think that certain people don’t like you, well bugger them, they can go jump in a cold puddle. If you feel that a post has been replied to inappropriately, flag it and let the mods deal with it. Don't let the baddies get you down and don't sweat the small stuff. Remember life is to short and to quote Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that!".

Back on topic~

After losing a pet, it can leave a big hole in one’s life and the thought of getting another pet can seem like a betrayal of your pets memory. But it is not so. I lost my 1st kitten Pepper (black with little white patches) about 2 years ago, she was hit and was found on the side of the road. I never got to see her again or even say good bye (the lovely gent whom found her collected her collar and buried her in his flower garden). I was so distraught and at the time thought there would be in no way I could get another one, it would break me. But the hole left behind was a kitten shaped hole that was gaping and I could not fix.

After about 8 months we decided that maybe we could start looks at the cattery (rescue cats) again (that's where we got Pepper from) every time I saw one with similar marking or colours it made me miss her and a little sad. That said, there was one kitten whom was ever so beautiful, she was a soft grey and white and we fell in love with her. We only lasted a day before going back to get her, and she is the love of my life, her name is Indie (or Indiana when she’s in trouble)

However, she is very very different to Pepper. Pepper used to chat a lot, hated to be picked up, was a great climber and was into everything! Indie is rather quiet, but LOVES pats and never bites/claws and just flops when you pick her up. She was the most clumsy cat I've ever seen when we got her, but she’s much better now. And she just likes to follow you around and be in your company whenever your home.

She could never replace Pepper, even if I wanted her too, all pets are individual as us. She was my best friend, but that’s not to say I can't have other best friends. China will always be remembered in your heart for all the interesting/cute/ fun things she brought to your life, but if you get another dog, it will be a very different experience and you will love it just as much, for very different reasons.

Again, life if too short to wait. Go and get one, and love it as much as you can and it will love you back.

[Castile]

I don't think its a betrayal at all When my old calico cat Minnie died I was so sad. I looked up the Cat Haven website and lo and behold there was a cat there for adoption...named Mini! Calico markings and all! I knew I had to have her She is ofcourse a totally different cat personality wise - old Minnie had quite an attitude and my new Minnie is shy and timid but loves pats (i think she was abused). I think my old Min moo would want me to be happy and so would China want you to be.

It actually quite funny. We have two cats - Lilly looks identical to my partners old cat Louie (hes still alive) and Minnie ofcourse resembles my old cat! We love them both.

[Eternallylostx]

Replacing isnt the same as forgetting, no? In the vibe I'm getting, you're just going to 'replace' as in refill the part of you that she left empty, but you'll still remember her. So I'd say, no it's not betrayal, IMO. Just don't forget China, heh.

“Forgetting the dead is killing them twice.”

[Wain]

Like every person, every dog has their own personality. If you get a new pup I'm sure you'll quickly realize it's not like China at all. And you'll be giving a little dog a loving home and a good life. I say go for it

[Lisaara]

I agree with Spirit's first bit. I don't recall having any issues with you. XD

As for a new pup, go for it!

When Lady was put down, I was so upset. I grieved for months. I didn't wanna do anything. My parents allowed me to have a pet guinea pig eventually when the depression was getting to me. It helped a lot for awhile but Guinea Pigs and Hamsters don't live very long so eventually my dad let us adopt a boxer/chihuahua pup we named Sasha. Energetic lil thing. She was nothing like Lady but goddess I loved her to pieces.

When I moved to Virginia, I had to leave my pup behind with my mom as my mom needed the company with her mental disabilities. It was depressing and my fiance knew I was lonely. So for christmas, we adopted a 4 year old beagle from the shelter. Her name is Alley. We've had her for over a year now and we just adore her as much as she loves us.

All in all, pets are an important part of family so I say go for it. You're not ruining China's memory in the slightest as you'll never forget her. You're just opening your heart to a new pup that needs your love and China would want you to be happy since she can no longer be at your side.

[Falcon]

great article. thanks for sharing.

Um, this is NOT an article. Think before you post next time, please.

And I'm very socially inept, and I see myself negatively because of how most of my family treated me while I was growing up, so it was pretty much drilled into my mind. Sorry.

Thank you, though. Your replies helped me come to a decision, and I'll talk it over with my boyfriend. But, it'll probably be a few years down the road since we have a cat, and we don't know how well he'd react to a new presence within his domain even though he's generally sweet-natured towards us.

[Wain]

great article. thanks for sharing.

Um, this is NOT an article. Think before you post next time, please.

Turns out that person was a spammer. They posted something similar in another thread only to get attention to their profile which had commercial website info.

[Falcon]

Thanks, Wain, friggin' figures though. It's one reason why I stopped posting regularly. *sighs* I've been angry to the point of tears all morning because of this because of how offended I am. Can the post be deleted?

[Lisaara]

The post is already gone. Don't let it get to ya. *hugs* We dont get spammers that often, really. When we do, Wain takes care of em.