/silly

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Saturo
 
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/silly

Unread post by Saturo »

A topic for your favorite WoW jokes! Rules:
  • You may not double post, it gets annoying quickly.
  • You may post several jokes in one post, but please separate them.
  • No jokes that are offensive. (Blondes, Homosexuals, Yo Momma)
  • Only jokes related to WoW. If you bring Chuck Norris into this I will kill you.
I'll start:

A human, a night elf and a dwarf are out adventuring in stranglethorn vale when they are suddenly captured by a tribe of trolls. 
- We gonna' boil ya alive, eat ya and then we gonna' use yer skin te' make canoes, mon, says the leader of the trolls. 
- An' just cause we so nice, we gonna give ya one last wish each, says another troll. 
The human asks for a knife. 
-  For the light! He yells and slits his own throat to avoid the pain of being boiled alive. 
The night elf also asks for a knife, and when she gets it she tells;
- For Elune! And then she slits her own throat. 
When the trolls ask the dwarf what he wants, he responds with "a fork". The trolls find this a bit strange, of course, but they bring him a fork. When he gets ot he yells;
- Screw your canoe! And stabs himself all over with it.

-----------------------------------------

- How many rogues does it take to kill a Paladin?
- Two, one to attack, and one to wait at the inn. 

 -----------------------------------------

- What's the easier way for them to do it?
- Pickpocket their hearthstone.

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Jadvya
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Re: /silly

Unread post by Jadvya »

The first one nearly killed me. XD My sister got one from a GM that went:

Q: How many gnomes does it take to paint a wall?
A: Depends on how hard you throw 'em!
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Saturo
 
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Re: /silly

Unread post by Saturo »

Hehe, thats pretty fun!

---

A warlock walks into a bar and sits down. He orders a glass of beer and starts relaxing, when all of a sudden, a 
paladin walks in and sits next to him. He turns to look at the warlock and says: 'Hey buddy, conjure me up something 
to drink,'
The warlock raises an eyebrow and looks to the paladin, clearly confused. He set his bottle down and spoke, slowly, and clearly, so as not to confuse the paladin. 

'You want me to summon water? Buddy, you've got the wrong person...' 

With that said, he returned to his drink. However, the paladin spoke up once again. 

'Well if you can't conjure me up something to drink, can you at least conjure me up something to eat?' 

The warlock sighed heavily and set his drink down, turning once again to face the paladin. 

'If I can't conjure you something to drink, what makes you think I could conjure you something to eat? You clearly need a mage, now stop bothering me.' 

The warlock returned to his drink, only to find the paladin nudging his shoulder. 

'Oh I'm sorry,' the paladin said mockingly. 'I thought you had something to offer to someone other than yourself.' 

The warlock smoothly rose from his seat, grabbed his bottle of beer, and swung it hard, smashing the paladin full in the face. 
The paladin collapsed on the floor amidst a shower of beer, blood, shards of glass, and shattered pride, groaning in pain. 
The warlock tossed the broken neck of the bottle on the floor, and smoothed his robes. 

'Oh I'm sorry,' he said with a smile. 'I thought you could tank.' 

I also exist on DeviantArt.
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Re: /silly

Unread post by GethlarNomudac »

chucknorris 'll kill u...


A Tauren and a gnome are on a Zeppilen, but its going down and theyy have to through something over board, so the gnome drops his mechano strider over after a tearfull goodbye, then the tauren looks at his kodo, giggles, then throughs the gnome.
u lost tha game :D
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Re: /silly

Unread post by Saturo »

An Orc, a troll and a Tauren are walking trough Elwynn Forest, when they get captured by a group of Stormwind guards on patrol. 
- for intruding on our territory, you will be punished by 20 whippings each. To ease your suffering you will get one wish before we begin. 
The Orc goes first, and he wishes to have a pillow strapped to his back. But after only ten whips it breaks, forcng him to endure ten painful whips. 
Now it's the trolls turn. He asks to have two pillows strapped to his back, and he escapes without the whip touching his skin. 
Now it's the taurens turn.
- what is your wish? the guard captain asked. 
- strap the troll to my back. 

-----------------------------------------

What does a noob and a rogue have in common?
They both pick locks. 

-----------------------------------------

When you're killed by a Druid, does it count as death by natural causes?

-----------------------------------------

A troll and an orc are hunting in the forest one day when they happen upon the Queen of the Faeries.

“Oh please, kind sirs, spare my life and I will grant you each 3 wishes” the Faerie Queen says.

The orc and the troll talk it over and decide this is a pretty good deal so they spare the Queen’s life. The orc goes first and says “I want a 1000 gold”. The Faerie Queen waves her wand and in a flash gold coins start falling from the sky as the orc dances with glee.

The troll thinks a moment and brandishing his sword he says “Me want a shiny new poker”. The Queen pales a bit as the troll waves his sword and in a puff of smoke a gleaming and well balanced broadsword appears.

The orc looks at the troll and says “You are one stupid troll aren’t you? You could have wished for a lot of money like me and bought a DOZEN of those swords. You have to wish for something you can’t get on your own – like this”. Turning to the fairy he says “I wish ALL the other orcs in the woods were females”. The Faerie Queens waves her wand again and there is a flash of light. Off in the distance they hear the sound of female orcs giggling.

The troll glares at the orc for a moment and then turns to the Faerie and say “Me wants a magic flyin rug”. POOF a flying carpet appears hovering a few inches off the ground.

The orc looks at the troll and says “You just don’t get it do you? You can BUY magic carpets. You are not only the stupidest troll in the whole world yer parents must have been the second stupidest”. Turning to the Faerie Queen the orc looks thoughtful and says “Hmmm… you know what? For my 3rd and final wish I wish all the orcs in the whole WORLD, except for me, were girls”. “DONE” says the Faerie Queen clapping her hands with a blinding flash of light.

Now the troll is really angry and turns to the Queen and says “Me wishes dis orc wuz gay” and he hops on his flying carpet and flys away.

I also exist on DeviantArt.
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Re: /silly

Unread post by Karathyriel »

A male troll, a male gnome, a female blood elf and a female tauren are using the deeprun tram.

Suddenly, the lights went out and you hear a loud slap. When the lights go back on, the gnome has the prints of fingers on his cheek, he obviously got slapped in the face.

"Right," thought the tauren lady, "this little bastard tried to touch the blood elf and she slapped him! Nice!"

"Right," thought the blood elf lady, "that little bastard tried to touch me, got the tauren and she slapped him. Very good."

"Damn," thought the gnome, "that bastard troll tried to touch the blood elf, she tried to slap him, he ducked and I got it."

"Cool," thought the troll, "Next time da light go out, me slap da gnome again!"
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Re: /silly

Unread post by Aleu »

I got one rather lame one from a GM a while ago.

Q. What do you call a pond full of Paladins?
A. A bubble bath.

I'll admit, I got a chuckle out of it. XD

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Re: /silly

Unread post by Kalanzyne »

A Dwarf, a Human and a Gnome are in a bar having a drink when a great-looking female Gnome comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."

So the Dwarf says, "I love liver and cheese." The female replies, "That's not good enough."

The Human says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."

Finally, the Male Gnome says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."
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Re: /silly

Unread post by Ryno »

A gnome walks into a bar. The bartender had a jar of cash and was hosting a contest to see who can make the tauren laugh, the gnome enters it and in moments the tauren falls to the ground laughing. The gnome collects his money and leaves, a few months later he comes back and there is another jar of cash waiting to collected. The contest this time was to make the same tauren cry. The gnome asks the bartender if he can have a moment with the tauren and the bartender allows him. Once again within a few moments the tauren is crying. When the gnome came to collect the money, the bartender asked how he did it. He replied, "First I told him my schlong was bigger, then I showed him it was true."

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Saturo
 
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Re: /silly

Unread post by Saturo »

A dwarf walks into a bar and orders 15 glasses of ale.
A human hearing him says: "You fool! Don't you know over 100 men die of alcohol every year?" "That's okay. I'm a Dwarf."

---------------------------------------------

Q: A tauren is standing in a river, surrounded by 20 Gnome Mages that specialise in Frost Magic. How will he get out?
A: Wet and cold.

---------------------------------------------

(Ironforge, AP): The worst accident in Warcraft aviation history occurred early this morning when a Flying Machine, Piloted by an unidentified Gnomish Aviator, crashed into the graveyard near Thelsamar. As of reporting time, over 300 bodies have been recovered from the crash site and we're still digging.

---------------------------------------------

A gnome, night elf, dwarf, and human are all sitting together in a bar trying to think of ways to bring honor to their cities. The human, thinking long an hard says, "Why don't we jump off the great lift for our cities and honor them with our sacrifice..."

The rest think this is a great idea and off they go. When they reach the lift the Human says he'll go first since it was his idea, so he steps up to the edge and yells, "FOR STORMWIND!!!" He then jumps to his death.

The Night Elf decides he will go next and steps up to the edge yelling, "FOR DARNASSUS!!!" He then jumps to his death.

The Dwarf, working up his courage asks the Gnome to tell him how far down the fall is. The Gnome walks up to the edge and looks down when suddenly the Dwarf yells, "FOR IRONFORGE!!!" and kicks the Gnome off.

---------------------------------------------

- Why can't dwarves be mages? Drink > Fight > Drink > Fight and so on...

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Saturo
 
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Re: /silly

Unread post by Saturo »

/tar thread
/cast resurrect

------------------------------------------------

Talismaine's post made me think of this ...

a Human, Gnome, and Dwarf trio of explorers gets captured by a tribe of Trolls in Stranglethorn vale where, tied to posts and surrounded by the whole tribe, the Witch Doctor confronts them.

He explains to all three: You have been found guilty of violating our territory and must be punished. However, according to our ancient laws, you have the right to choose your punishment!! (he walks up to the human). For tresspassing, your choice of punishment is either Death ... or Ooga-Booga!

The human doesn't even have to consider. What could be worse than dying in this forsaken wilderness?? "I choose Ooga-Booga".

Immediately, he is cut down from the post and tied face-down to the ground. Ten exceptionally large troll warriors step forth and gang-**** him for an hour. Finally, whimpering and bleeding, he is cast into the river and allowed to get away.

Now the Gnome is up. Horrified by what he has seen, he still doesn't want to die and now knows that he can, indeed, get away, He chooses Ooga-Booga as well. He suffers the same humiliating fate as the human, and an hour later he is thrown in the river and gets away.

The proud Dwarf has been listening to screams of pain for two hours now. He looks the witch doctor in the eye and says, I would rather die than be so humiliated. I choose Death!!

"Well spoken, brave warrior!" The witch doctor replies, then raises his voice so the whole tribe can hear. "I hereby sentence you to death --- by Ooga-Booga!!!"

I also exist on DeviantArt.
"I'll probably be some kind of scientist, building inventions in my space lab in space!"

Moderation note: Saturo is banned from all forums except the RP forum, and only allowed there until the current RP thread ends.

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Re: /silly

Unread post by Aweena »

A male gnome rogue rides in the tanaris dessert one day on his horse suddenly he finds a bottled genie the genie grants him 3 wishes

hmm i want to be immortal

and i want my horse to be immortal to

thinking long and hard he decides and i want one as big as my horses

wishes granted he continues to gadgetzan and gets in a figth with a troll

the troll stabs stabs and stabs some more nothing happens he then tries to kill the horse still nothing happens

oh mon this unbelivable the troll says

the gnome says thats nothing and strips his pants off

The troll " Holy mon thats the biggest pussy i ever see"
------------------------------------------------------------------
sorry had to tell it originally its a cowboy and a mexican but its ok as a wow joke to i think and the lesson is check the sex of your mount before wishing to be like it :)

ps. dont kill me if i spelled rogue rong i always do that

If love is an illusion to hell with reality

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Re: /silly

Unread post by Rottingham »

*SPOILER ALERT!*

...very cheesy...


A Human and Night Elf walk into a bar. The Gnome and Dwarf were too short to hit it...

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