I alil help with my story

[beasttamer7310]

Ok i spent a long time comeing up with some plot for my hunters 5 main pets. Brom Wildwind was tracking a large wild wolf to prove to his tribe that he can live in there home land (scholozar basin) after tameing the largest old and wisest on in the pack he go to thunderbluff for appoval. After getting aporval from his tribe embasor he imediately head up to northrend to help with the way gate. once the waygate activates a bolt of lighting from the gate hits his wolf and transform him into a blue wolf with lighting all around his body(skoll) and knocking the wolf out. But out of the waygate comes a silthuid i try to run but it web me and as im so i try to connect our sprits but as soon as we connect i faint. AS i wake up i am told ive shown a hunter of some skill and must pass one more test i must steal a devilsaur egg i sneak very guite (well as quite as a tauren can into king krush nest area and still and egg as i show the elders it hatches i block the arrows aim at her i wont let them kill a majgestic beast like. I know its rough i suck at english and also unfinshed i syill have shango and my tank pet (get a rhino from the basin or go threw the way gate and get my white gorilla) any help is appreciated

[beasttamer7310]

also i reread it i know alot of spelling errors but its late and im lazy

[Aeladrine]

Well, you have a lot of stuff happening very fast. On top of that, you've already immersed yourself in quite a few cliches. Instead of taming the oldest and wisest wolf, why not have him tame a younger wolf? Not the youngest or a runt, as that's also rather cliched, but one of the scrawnier wolves who wouldn't be as hard to overcome? Instead of having your wolf be hit by lightning from a waygate and magically becoming a very different creature, have a local wolf god be enrages you stole a wolf from its pack. Overcoming a wolf god also seems like a far more logical reason for a tribe to allow a hunter to go on his way than just an old, wise wolf. It also makes more sense to have that be the reason your character is suddenly considered a skilled hunter than simply taming a sithilid. As for the sithilid itself, perhaps have it be less an instant thing? It can come racing out of the waygate, enraged that it's been torn from its home, but captured by the many people standing by nonetheless. If your character is capable of taming a god, taming a sithilid would be no problem, at least not in the eyes of his superiors. And if he can tame a sithilid, would they not send him off to get a devilsaur that has been a bother to them on their side?

Just some ideas, here.