You stupid poor kid (NSFW)

[Redith]

I just came on the worst scene I have ever had to deal with in my career as private security, and I have been to Afghanistan.
I was first responder (5 minutes after it happened) to an 18 y/o kid killing himself in front of his girlfriend with a shotgun. It is just so fucking stupid, he was 18....why did he think whatever the hell the fight was about was worth it to take his own life in that way.

[Dewclaw]

That's so sad.

[Lisaara]

Very sad and very stupid. No fight is worth that.

[Lupis]

Oh god, I'm so sorry you had to see that. I think I'd just throw up and cry.

[Rhyela]

Personally, I'm starting to feel like (and I have absolutely zero scientific evidence or proof, mind you), anyone who takes their own life cannot be right in the brain. I mean, being mammals, our most basic instinct is to survive. It's fight or flight, that thing that makes grandmas lift cars off their children and trapped hikers to saw their own limbs off. So for that instinct to not be functioning properly to the point that someone would intentionally end their own life...there just has to be something off. It goes against our most basic programming.

I'm really sorry you had to see that, it must have been awful. Life is so precious, and to see it discarded like that on something so frivolous is just...horrible.

[Lupis]

Rhyela, in most cases, that's called depression. When it gets bad enough, someone with severe depression might think that they are worthless and that the world is better off without them- or that nothing will ever go well for them and that they're better off dead, because at least they can rest that way. Because depression is caused by imbalanced and off brain chemicals, you're right- it is against our programming. Because it's our programming gone wrong.

That's why medication is important- it attempts to bring your brain chemistry back to normal.

[Rhyela]

Thanks for making that sound way more sensical than my own wording, Lupis! I hope I didn't sound mean when I said they're "off" - I didn't mean loopy or crazy or anything like that. I just meant that something isn't working like it should be.

[Torachi]

Yikes... that sounds horrid. The worst I've ever seen is someone attempt to kill themselves by hanging. Our neighbor and tenant had a wife who was just... unbearable. She'd stomp on him over every little thing he did. One day my mom and I came home from the bus stop to her screaming, and after a few minutes realized she was screaming for us. I was faster so I ran over first, only to see the guy hanging in the tiny little shed behind the house (and in perfect view of my bedroom window - I had nightmares for months). I was a teenager, but I tried my hardest to lift him up and put slack on the noose, which worked, and mom was able to get it off of him. Thanks to us he survived, but barely.

I know what depression so deep it makes you cross that line can do, myself. Suffered with it from early 2001, when my dad got cancer, up until early 2009, when I met my fiance, and finally got out of the abusive, horrible relationship I was in. All I can really describe it as, is literally feeling yourself being sucked deeper and deeper into this... hopeless void. The mental and emotional pain becomes tangible, physical pain. I'm not talking about self-mutilation, either. You don't cause it yourself. It's as if your body can't handle the weight of the sadness, and that weight makes everything ache. Nothing is interesting anymore. Trying to do anything just results in staring off into nothing dazedly. The hopelessness gets worse. That's the real killer, I think. When people lose hope, for anything, they lose themselves.