Well, I said I'd revive this thread when he died and I'm sure you can guess what happened.
Now I used to be a very different person when I posted here, I was a child, dropped out of school due to social issues with an unrealistic out-look on the world. Not to say I've become cynical but certainly grown up and learned a lot more about life. It's funny how someone can change over the course of 4 years so much to the point where I'd barely consider myself the same person. Looking back through these threads to find this one has taught me that while my intentions were right back then, I most certainly wasn't a lot of the time, that being said I'm sure it's very natural to look back on your old self and shudder.
All of us have our early teen years where we go through phases and such. Sometimes they grow and define us as people and sometimes they die off. I'm not really the kind of person to be posting on forums along with (no offense) the majority of other users also being children or having them themselves.
I'm sure besides a few most of the other people my age have moved on from now and have grown as people to. Wondering there the people I've met along all this way is something I dont give much thought until times like this. I'm not really looking to be consoled or for people to make me feel better but just to share the harsh reality of the situation.
I was very wrong to expect him to be gone 4 years earlier from now, he was still a youngish dog, around 50 or so in dog years. Maybe by the time I'd have figured it out on my own back then it would have been too late so I can thank the people here for opening my eyes and actually making a different.
A couple months after making this thread I specifically remember that I wanted him to go out and enjoy as much of this time he had as possible, taking him on walks, treating him with the respect he always gave us. He was always there, a shoulder to cry on when I was being dramatic, a body to cuddle on the living room floor while my mum would watch her tv program.
I dropped out of school when I hit highschool. Until I made friends online in 2014 he was probably my only friend for a huge part of my life despite digging through solid concrete and chewing my favorite toys we still loved him. Almost 2 years ago my mum had another baby, my brother. I wasn't happy about this and was shunned by a lot of my friends for openly saying she should have an abortion, obviously I've come to realize that is definitely out of order and not something I should've said so harshly without regard. Later down the line he's 2 and often tried to go near the dog, him being 2 I had my fears and kept him away as much as possible out of respect for my dog.
I dont regret this, in fact I'm proud of it. It's not like a 2 year old can understand a dog as old as him who could barely walk in his last days doesnt want to be climbed on. I think that's fair, it's not as if he would remember him as he cant talk. It's quite amazing to see how happy he is despite what's happened, ignorance is bliss as they say and I'm in envy of it.
Death is fantasized a lot, despite suicide being a very real and serious thing, many people do it for attention. A lot of times you see on tv shows and movies, they kill people left and right, maybe someone they love dies in their arms, they shed a single tear but they dont tell you everything.
You wake up, your alarm goes off at 8. You set it early this morning because your sleeping pattern is really out for college which you started last week, that's the biggest thing in your life. You turn your computer on as you go brush your teeth and you sit down to do world quests in legion. Your friend logs on and you do mythic brf, you get 2 pieces of a set you dont want and 0 of the set you do want "What a bother" you think. You browse for a while and it's 2 oclock. You get showered and get dressed. Your mum asks you if you've got your shoes on yet all the while the dog is asleep in his bed. You go out to the opticians to get your eye test for new glasses. You get new glasses just in time for the free NHS insurance of someone under 16. I check my watch that I got as an early present for my 16th for the time, It's about 4 now and you're walking back to the car. You talk about college with your mum, she mentions it's your birthday in 2 days and that you'll be at college for the last day, "What a bother" you think. You drive home, you get through the door and kick off your shoes as you go upstairs to get your bag to sort out the drinks and your pack lunch for college tomorrow. My mum complains about "Ben and holly's little kingdom" not working on the TV making my little brother get a bit bored as he starts to wander around the house. my brother goes over to the dog and pets him. We pet the dog for a little while who doesnt seem to be any different, little did we know that'd be the last time we'd touch him. I carry my brother to the living room and set up his TV program, he's sat on the sofa happily watching. Suddenly your mum from the other room is talking about how he's struggling to stand up and to see if he'll stand up for me. I get a dog biscuit, nothing. He tries to lick the biscuit off the floor right in front of him and cant grip it in his mouth. Your mum starts to panic, "What if he had a stroke! what if what if what if". "Relax" you say as you try and calm her down, He was probably lying on his leg funny. You suggest she should probably call the vet just incase if he doesnt get up when your stepdad gets home. Your stepdad walks through the door as you're looking after your brother and you dont hear the pitter patter of the claws yet but still you think surely this isnt it. Your stepdad tries to get him to stand up as your dog is crawling around the garden with his 2 front feet. After a while we get him to walk to the car and have to carry him on to the floor of the front passenger seat, you say goodbye like you have before when he had to go in just for that one thing that wasn't actually anything and you go back upstairs. You put "time lapse" back on, you think about the movie and about how they could avoid their problems by doing simple things and suddenly...
"Knock, knock, knockknock, knock" You hear her happy knock the same way she always does it, the door opens to a face with mascara running down it and that's when you know.
We hugged, we talked about ashes, paw-prints in stone and the likes. My nan just had her dog put down so we use the same guy because he does it great. That's it, you sit on your bed, you cry for 20 minutes, you get back up, cry some more. I assume you cry on and off but I cant be that sad. When you're so old to the point where you can't walk, you can see it in their eyes. When your dog wets himself and is incredibly scared because of all the times you scolded him as a puppy for peeing on the rug, at that point how can you live knowing that every day of their life would be better for them if they didnt have to live it.
I doubt many if any of you remember me, and if any of you care. For my this is closure, I always said I'd do this no matter how much I grew out of this place or WoW but thank you for reading my wall of text.
Here's a picture