Help with lore? Grammer/spelling/Punctuation

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Help with lore? Grammer/spelling/Punctuation

Unread post by Bowno »

So I posted in the Help forum on FR. No one seems to want to help me out Dx Which is understandable.. My bio for my Spiral, Arlo is uh.. a little long ._.
I'm not the best writer in the world, so I'd love some help going through it and picking at it. Spelling, grammer, punctuation, etc. Editing out stuff that isn't needed or adding things that are needed. Changing sentences around etc. Basically I just want it to be a good read that makes sense and doesn't make people want to kill themselves half way through.
Any sort of help/tips/suggestions would be SUPER appreciated @_@;
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Image


It was a warm day. And exciting day for the Wind clan! A clutch of eggs was due to hatch any second. The little green swirled eggs wiggled and bumped against each other as their precious cargo shifted about in their attempts to enter the world. Proud parents sat coiled nearby, watching with smiles across their scaly muzzles. It was their first clutch together.
Finally, one by one, the eggs would begin to crack and open, allowing tiny slithering, wiggly worm-like dragons slip free from the shells with large neon-green eyes squinting at the brightness of the sun, the warmth of the giant glowing orb in the sky encouraging the little ones to explore about their nest while larger eyes belonging to the clan watched and celebrated with the parents. It was a good day!

The little dark male, whom did not bear a name, quickly learned how to use his beautiful shimmering green wings. It wasn't long before him and his siblings were noodling about in the air together. Spiraling down and spiraling up, looping and darting across their home. It was a young Spiral's dream! Growing up in such a calm carefree home with an entire clan that loved them, and proud parents declaring their love and joy. There seemed to be no ill-will between any of the clan members. It was a great place to grow up!

New clans were beginning to arise out of what seemed like nowhere all over all over Sornieth! Each flight was growing stronger and tensions were beginning to rise. But for the dark little Spiral and his clan there seemed to be only happiness about the goings on. Excited they were for the world to grow more populated. Plans and preparations were being made while the little ones watched on, curious and taking in the actions of the adults.
Finally, the day came. The little ones were scooped up and taken away from their home by their clan mates. It was done with smiles on every one's faces. It was an important journey for them! Today, they were out flying across the skies with their elders, going from one territory to the other. Of course, the clan made quite sure to let the clans of the neighboring territories know that they entered their land in peace. The last thing the clan of Wind dragons wanted was to be torn from the skies and put their precious young ones in danger.

With curious eyes, the little dark male Spiral watched as each time they dropped down to a lair and coaxed out one of the newly forming Clans from their dens. The Windy dragon clan would welcome and exclaim with joy how happy they were to meet them, offering small trinkets and food to show their friendship. Him and the other youngsters danced about excitedly, talking about various things they had seen on their journey to meet the new clan or about how big these new friends were. It was a fun meeting each time and friendships were made quickly. A few lairs even had a few offspring inside already, which the youngsters of the Windy clan were delighted about. New playmates around their age! Everyone was happy. Offerings were taken into the lairs while goodbyes were had and the traveling clan of Wind dragons returned to the skies.

What fun they were having. So many new faces. So many dragons of different sizes, shapes and colors! Each time was a surprise. But each meeting was filled with happiness and appreciation. Perhaps one day the new Clans would become more hostile, but during their new beginnings it was smart to make alliances. To make friends while your numbers are small was the most logical thing to do. Most would keep these relationships, but in time there would always be a few that drifted away or took a path of war. All this was explained to the youngsters as they flew with the elders. It was difficult for them to understand why anyone would want to not be friends any more... But they would accept these words to ponder the meanings and understandings. One day it might be useful to them.

The small traveling welcome party of Wind dragons would drop down once more. They were nearly done and this was one of their last stops before heading home for the day! Everyone was tired from hauling around treasures and gifts of welcome, as well as giving the youngsters rides across the skies to multiple territories. Luckily, their last few stops were in the Shadowbinder's lands. Already they had made many friends here and only had a few more to go. The land of the Windsinger and the Shadowbinder were not that far apart from each other, so the trip home wouldn't be too stressful. Excited to meet the last few clans, they would call to the owners of the den they had landed outside of in attempt to coax them into view so that the gifts and warm welcomes could be given.

The little dark spiral youngster wanted to help! He and one of his siblings would rush to the mouth of the cave, calling out to those inside and holding little bits of treasure in their front talons. A bright smile grew on his face as a pair of eyes appeared in the darkness. Kind eyes. Finally emerged a Pearlcatcher with a speckled hide, his eyes glowing softly with the element of Shadows. He smiled down to the youngsters, then nervously to the adults behind them and nodded gently to the words of welcome. But the Pearlcatcher would quickly try to hush the welcome crew and looked about with ears laid to the sides.
"Thank you for your kindness. But please, you can not linger long." The shadowy Pearl would speak in a low tone.

This confused the little dark youngster. Something didn't seem right. Everyone had been so friendly, but this one seemed to be worried about something. Even the location was weird. In their journey, each den-site was taken care of! A dirty lair was not acceptable and most dragons would at least give the outside landing area a brushdown to not only make it look nicer, but also to hide any scent. But this den was a mess. This Pearlcatcher looked like he would be happy to clean up a bit! Maybe his partner had something to do with it... But where was the other one?

The rest of the Wind clan seemed confused as well. Before they could question it though, a loud rumble could be heard from inside the den. The footsteps of a large creature. The youngsters blinked and tipped their heads aside to peer around the nervous Pearlcatcher, watching as a massive form began to appear from the shadows. Only one eye would shine this time, bright with the element of Shadow. The Pearlcatcher would turn, one wing outstretched in attempt to hide the small greeting clan from view, though their silhouettes still slightly visible through his ivory membrane.

Lumbering from the darkness came the other member of the newly formed clan. A large battle scarred guardian, with thick obsidian colored scales and wings red like a blood-red sky. Already she had lost an eye, only one remaining to glow with the shadows. She walked with a tall stride, proud yet threatening with jaw slightly ajar, rumbling and hissing with each inhale. She was well aware that others had entered her territory, and she did not seem amused.

The Pearl kept a lowered stance whilst he tried to explain that there wasn't anything to worry about and that their guest came in peace.. but was quickly interrupted by one of the older spirals popping out from around the outstretched ivory wing with a big ol' friendly smile, blurting out how happy they were to meet them and welcoming the two Shadow dragons. The Guardian would jerk her head back in slight surprise, a brow ridge arching at the sudden outburst before lifting her lips in a bit of a snarl. These wind dragons were so noisy and annoying. She watched as the green eyed clan laid out some treasures, trinkets and food while they continued to sing with happiness about friendship between the two clans. Even the young ones were joining in, the little dark male wiggling over to the Guardian with a bit of treasure in his talons and offering it up to her.

The Pearlcatcher watched in terror, not moving a muscle as the festivities continued around them.. His eyes locked on the happy little youngster that was so close to the dark scaled Guardian, whom would tip her head down and narrowed her one good eye. Finally, she would speak.
"I accept these gifts. But I will also be taking what you have not laid out before me."

The Windies paused, looking to each other. There was still more gifts in their claws.. But these were for the other few clans they had to visit. One of the elders would smile and attempted to kindly explain the situation, but in the midst of his sentence, the Guardian would lurch forward, snatching up the dark spiral youngster in her sharp talons. He squealed in terror, wriggling and squirming about, trying to work himself free.. But her talons held tight around his long looping body, knotting him up between her claws.
"I SAID I WILL BE TAKING THE REST."

Horrified, the wind clan begged for the release of their youngster. It didn't take them long to give up the rest of the gifts in desperate attempt to appease the large battle-scarred female. They would lay out everything they had, smiling with big nervous smiles and tears in their eyes.. waiting for their young spiral to be returned to them. But she would not return him. Instead, the Guardian would grin and outstretched her massive wings, tightening her grip on the youngster until he could hardly take a breath.
"Now go! I will be keeping ALL of this, including the boy. Leave or I will tear his entrails from his body!"

What could they do? Sure, there were a few more of the Wind clan than the Shadow, considering there were only two of them.. But the group was tired from flying around so much and they were in the heart of Shadow territory. To launch an attack on even a single clan would alert the others in the Shadowbinders realm. They would not leave alive and would likely cause a terrible death for the one they were trying to save. There were other youngsters with them that were of concern as well. It would be foolish to put them in danger.

They had no choice. Pleading wasn't doing anything. With heavy hearts, the group from the Wind clan would retreat without their treasures and without their tiny dark youngster. The little one could only watch, still struggling for breath as he cried out after them until his family was no longer in sight. They were gone... And he was too young to understand why they had not tried to save him. He knew they were sad.. but still.


Many years had passed and the youngster, who would be given the name Arlo by the brutish Matriarch, grew up to be a very handsome Spiral. His body shimmered with a brilliant, shadowy iridescence and his wings looked as if they gave off a soft green glow to match the glowshrooms of the Shadowbinder's lands. He looked as though he belonged and his heart yearned to.

But the Matriarch was just as cruel as she had been in the beginning. She hated how active and happy the Spiral always was. He'd zip about the lair constantly, chattering nonstop with the other clan members, who usually enjoyed is company. It drove the large Guardian crazy. Instead of keeping his head low in respect as she walked by, Arlo would always break early and attempt to tell jokes or start conversation with her.

The shadowy Pearlcatcher often came to Arlo's aid in these situations, forcing his body protectively between the two before the Guardian could tear the Spiral asunder, and would attempt to defuse the situation.. Or at least distract the Matriarch until the others could coax Arlo out of harms way. It was quite different from the home the little Spiral had been born into. Instead of carefree happiness there was always tension and fear.

When Arlo finally became of the age where starting a family was of interest to him, the Matriarch would chase him into the back of the den with gnashing teeth and thundering wings. The poor Spiral was held there for long periods of time in the Guardian's attempt to prevent this overactive noodle from finding any one to reproduce with. She was not ready to put up with more nonsense. So there he would sit, alone in the darkness. The Guardian would not speak with him, and the rest of the clan was separated from him. With hardly any room to move and no fresh air all the way in the back of the den, it was solitary confinement.

He was being driven mad. Spirals are an active breed, and he could not do as the Windsinger's will had intended! The den echoed with his screams of agony and loneliness, loud thuds rumbling through the tunnels from the Spiral's frantic spastic movements in such a confined space.. tying himself in knots and rolling across the floors and walls. But the Guardian would not let him out. She cared little about his crying, his begging and his promises to stop bothering her.

Finally, one of the newer members of the clan, though much older in age, would approach the Matriarch. The two of them sizing each other up.. The massive dark scaled Guardian and the armored Wildclaw with a fiery hide. Both were proud, but that was where the similarities ended. While one was ruthless and terrible, the other was kind and stood for truth and honor. Somehow the Wildclaw was able to convince the Matriarch to release Arlo from his confinement without any bloodshed. The Spiral couldn't have been happier! After having some help getting untangled from himself, Arlo would take to the skies, stretching himself out and breathing the fresh air.

Eventually a female Spiral would make its way into the clan. Arlo quickly fell head over heels for her. Tetai was a beautiful tiger striped female. Her red wings painted with natural markings like extra eyes, her true eyes as blue as the oceans she was born from. The two of them were inseparable. Their bodies would tangle and dance in the moonlight each night, exploring each other as if it was the first time. It had been so long since Arlo had seen another Spiral, let alone been able to touch one. He could not get enough of her.
It wasn't long before they had a clutch of their own. They were proud parents of four little shadowy eggs. Both of them kept this a secret from the Matriarch. They feared if the eggs were found, the Guardian would destroy the entire clutch. So the secret was kept from everyone. But the day the little ones hatched, the secret became harder to keep. Little Spirals were active things. It was impossible to keep them under control. Arlo loved each one of them though, despite how difficult it was to keep them where he wanted. They were his everything.

Tetai and Arlo did everything they could to keep the Guardian from finding their children... But the active offspring eventually gave themselves away. As soon as she caught wind of the unapproved breeding, the massive brute Matriarch would burst through the bushes to where the young spirals were being hidden. Tetai was on watch that night. Her blue eyes went wide in terror as she scrambled to gather up her offspring. Loud furious roars rumbled through the area. Arlo's ears would perk at the sound. He had a horrible feeling in his gut as he rushed towards where his children were supposed to be kept safe, only to find the Matriarch and Tetai in the heat of battle. Claws raked across flesh and teeth gnashed. Tetai's long body wrapped around the Matriarch's neck, who would in return slam the Spiral against the outside of the den and drag her tangled body across at a quick trot, ripping scales from Tetai's hide. Arlo wanted to help, but from the corner of his eye he noticed his offspring. Two lay on the ground, looking broken and mostly motionless. He had no choice. Unable to be two places at once, he chose to save the youngsters while he still could, scooping them up and whisking them away... Praying that his lover would be okay.

All four some how survived the attack. All four Arlo would find places for. It was the most difficult thing he ever had to do. But he couldn't have his babies in such a dangerous lair. Some of his offspring would end up being trained to serve the Deities themselves as warriors, while the others became important members of their own clans. Arlo knew that where ever they ended up would be better than back at his den. Returning home without them was saddening, but somehow relieving. He wanted to raise and love his children. He wanted to be there for them. He wanted to be a father.. But he also wanted them to live a happy life.

The relief was short lived however. When he returned to the clan, he found that his beloved, Tetai, was gone. Upon questioning the others, Arlo was told that the beautiful female Spiral had escaped with her life, but was banished from the clan by the Matriarch, despite the attempts to change her mind by the shadowy Pearlcatcher. Arlo was heartbroken. For weeks he kept to himself, barely eating. The overactive Spiral was nothing more than a limp noodle sitting in the corner of the den. He had lost his loved one and was forced to give away his children. Everything he had was gone.

But months later came a miracle. A dragon from the Plague-lands had made their way over and was accepted by the Matriarch. Another tiger-striped female Spiral, with shimmering red wings to match her glowing red eyes. Her name was Mirach, a shy female with a bubbly attitude when comfortable with those around her. It was her that went to Arlo and soothed his broken heart with kind words and lots of gentle attention. Mirach would not leave his side and would offer him meals to keep him from starving himself. Eventually, Arlo would break free from the spell of sadness and grew to love this beautiful female.
Before they knew it, the two of them had a clutch together.

The other clan members helped protect these young ones and kept them from bothering the brutish Guardian. It was because of the help from the others that Arlo could become a true father and raise his little ones. Oh how he loved each and every one of them! They'd slither and flop about all over his coiled body while he told them stories passed down from his old clan or sang them songs. As the youngsters grew older, he and Mirach would teach the little ones to fly! The family of Spirals would dance about in the dark skies, darting between trees and hiding amongst the glowshrooms. Arlo had found his calling. To be a father. It was what he loved.

And so as time went on, him and his partner Mirach would have many more clutches together. Raising each child with love and affection. But as the youngsters grew older, the Matriarch would become more and more agitated with the little family. it was decided that each one would be sent away upon adolescence to new clans where they could be safe from harms way. Many became great warriors to serve the Deities, just as Tetai's offspring had, and others started families of their own. Each one remained forever in Arlo and Mirach's hearts. They were their children and they would always love them. Such proud parents they were, happy to see their children able to find success and leave the den safely.

But why would Arlo not leave? He had been taken away from his family by force by the very same Guardian that kept him confined against his will, chased off his first lover and prevented him from keeping one large, happy family together! Would he not be better away from such a beast? Perhaps. But the rest of the clan was his family now. Sure, there were some that wanted nothing to do with Arlo.. But many were kind and cared for him as if he was blood related. It was not often the Matriarch was even around, so most of his time was spent with the ones that cared for him in return. He enjoyed going out finding food with the others and going out to trade with other clans in small groups. Arlo was happy, despite the horrible beast that ruled over thee clan. And that was enough for him to stay.

Siggy under construction!

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Lupen202
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Re: Help with lore? Grammer/spelling/Punctuation

Unread post by Lupen202 »

Took me awhile, but I eventually got through the whole thing and edited it a bit to get it to flow more smoothly. Nothing drastic, but I hope I was able to help you a bit. Overall, it was pretty dang great to begin with. :)


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It was a warm and exciting day for the Wind clan; a clutch of eggs was due to hatch any second. The little green-swirled eggs wiggled and bumped against each other as their precious cargo inside shifted about in their attempts to enter the world. Their proud parents sat coiled nearby, watching with smiles across their scaly muzzles. It was their first clutch together.
Finally, one by one the eggs began to crack open, allowing the tiny, slithering, wiggly worm-like dragons to slip free from their shells. With large, neon-green eyes, they squinted at the brightness of the sun, the warmth of it encouraging them to explore about their nest while the larger eyes of their clan-mates watched and celebrated with the parents. It was a good day!

The little dark male, whom did not yet bear a name, quickly learned how to use his beautiful shimmering green wings. It wasn't long before he and his siblings were noodling about in the air together, spiraling down and spiraling up, looping and darting across their home. It was a young spiral's dream; growing up in such a calm carefree home with an entire clan that loved them, and proud parents declaring their love and joy.

New clans were beginning to arise out of nowhere all over Sornieth. As each flight grew stronger, tensions were beginning to rise. But for the dark little Spiral and his clan there seemed to be only happiness about the goings on. They were excited for the world to grow, and plans and preparations were being made while the little ones watched on, curious about the actions of the adults.
Finally the day came, when the little ones were scooped up and taken away from their home by their clan mates. It was done with smiles on everyone's faces, for it was an important journey for them! Today, they were going to go out flying across the skies with their elders, traveling from one territory to the other. Of course, the clan made extra sure to let the neighboring clans know that they would be entering their land in peace. The last thing the clan of Wind dragons wanted was to put their precious young ones in danger and be torn from the skies.

With curious eyes, the little dark male Spiral watched as they dropped down to a lair to coax out one of the newly forming Clans from their den. The Windy dragon clan would welcome and exclaim with joy how happy they were to meet them, offering small trinkets and food to show their friendship. He and the other youngsters danced about excitedly, talking about the various things they had seen and learned on their journeys. It was a fun meeting each time, and new friendships were made quickly. Some of the lairs even had a few offspring already inside, which delighted the youngsters of the Wind clan. Everyone was happy. The offerings were taken into the lairs while goodbyes were had, and the traveling clan of Wind dragons returned to the skies.

What fun they were having, and so many new faces to see. Dragons of so many different sizes, shapes and colors! Each meeting held a new surprise, and each was filled with happiness and appreciation. Perhaps one day the new Clans would become more hostile, but during their new beginnings it was smart to try and make alliances; making friends while your numbers are small was the most logical thing to do. Most would retain these relationships, but in time there would always be those that drifted away or took a path of war. All this was explained to the youngsters as they flew with the elders. It was difficult for them to understand why anyone would want to not be friends anymore... But they accepted these words and pondered them, for one day it might prove useful to them.

The small traveling party of Wind dragons would drop down once more that day. They were nearly done with their journey, as this was one of their last stops before heading home. Everyone was tired from hauling around treasures and gifts of welcome, as well as giving the youngsters rides across the skies to multiple territories. Luckily, their last few stops were in the Shadowbinder's lands. Already they had made many friends there and only had a few more to go. The lands of the Windsinger and the Shadowbinder were not that far apart from each other, and so the trip home wouldn't be too stressful. Excited to meet the last few clans, they called to the owners of the den they had landed outside of in an attempt to coax them into view, so that the gifts and warm welcomes could be given.

The little dark spiral youngster wanted to help! He and one of his siblings rushed to the mouth of the cave, calling out to those inside and holding little bits of treasure in their front talons. A bright smile grew on his face as a pair of eyes appeared in the darkness. Kind eyes. Finally, a Pearlcatcher with a speckled hide emerged, his shadow eyes glowing softly in the darkness. He smiled down at the youngsters, then looked nervously towards the adults behind them, nodding gently to the words of welcome. But the Pearlcatcher quickly tried to hush the welcome crew and looked about with ears laid to the sides.
"Thank you for your kindness, but please, you can not linger long." The shadowy Pearl spoke, in a low tone.

This confused the little dark youngster... something didn't seem right. Everyone had been so friendly, but this one seemed to be worried about something. Even the location was weird. In their journey, each den-site was well taken care of, for a dirty lair was not acceptable. Most dragons would at least give the outside landing area a brushdown to not only make it look nicer, but to also hide any scent. But this den was a mess. The Pearlcatcher looked like he would be happy to clean up a bit. Maybe his partner had something to do with it? But where was the other one?

The rest of the Wind clan seemed confused as well. Before they could question it though, a loud rumble sounded from inside the den; the footsteps of a large creature. The youngsters blinked and tipped their heads to the side to peer around the nervous Pearlcatcher, watching as a massive form began to appear from within the shadows. Only one eye shone this time, bright with the element of Shadow. The Pearlcatcher turned, one wing outstretched in an attempt to hide the small greeting clan from view, though their silhouettes were still slightly visible through his ivory membrane.

Lumbering from the darkness came the other member of the newly formed clan. A large battle scarred guardian, with thick obsidian scales and wings red like a blood-red sky. Already she had lost an eye, only one remaining to glow within the shadows. She walked with a tall stride, proud yet threatening with jaw slightly ajar, rumbling and hissing with each inhale. She was well aware that others had entered her territory, and she did not seem amused.

The Pearl kept a lowered stance whilst he tried to explain that there wasn't anything to worry about, and that their guest had come in peace.. but he was quickly interrupted by one of the older spirals popping around his outstretched ivory wing. With a big ol' friendly smile, they blurted out how happy they were to meet and welcome the two Shadow dragons. The Guardian jerked her head back in slight surprise, her brow arching at the sudden outburst before lifting her lips in a bit of a snarl. These wind dragons were so noisy and annoying. She watched as the green eyed clan laid out some treasures, trinkets and food while they continued to sing with happiness about friendship between the two clans. Even the young ones were joining in, the little dark male wiggling over to the Guardian with a bit of treasure in his talons and offering it up to her.

The Pearlcatcher watched in terror, not moving a muscle as the festivities continued around him. His eyes locked onto the happy little youngster that was closest to the dark scaled Guardian, whom would tip her head down and narrow her one good eye. Finally, she spoke.
"I will accept these gifts. But I will also be taking what you have not laid out before me."

The Windies paused and looked to each other. There were still more gifts in their claws, but these were for the other few clans they were to visit. One of the elders smiled and attempted to kindly explain the situation, but in the midst of his sentence, the Guardian lurched forward, snatching the dark spiral youngster in her sharp talons. He squealed in terror, wriggling and squirming about, trying to work himself free... But her talons held tight around his long looping body, knotting him up between her claws.
"I SAID I WILL BE TAKING THE REST."

Horrified, the wind clan begged for the release of their youngster. It didn't take them long to offer up the rest of the gifts in a desperate attempt to appease the large, battle-scarred female. They laid out everything they had, smiling with big nervous smiles and tears in their eyes.. waiting for their young spiral to be returned to them. But she would not return him. Instead, the Guardian only grinned and outstretched her massive wings, tightening her grip on the youngster until he could hardly take a breath.
"Now go! I will be keeping ALL of this, including the boy. Leave, or I will tear his entrails from his body!"

What could they do? Sure, they outnumbered the Shadow clan considering there were only two of them.. But the group was tired from their flight, and they were in the heart of Shadow territory. To launch an attack on even a single clan would alert the others in the Shadowbinder's realm. They would not escape alive, and would likely cause a terrible death for the one they were trying to save. There were other youngsters with them that were of concern as well. It would have been foolish to put them in danger.

And so they had no choice, for pleading was futile. With heavy hearts, the Wind clan retreated, leaving their treasures and youngster behind. The little one could only watch, still struggling for breath as he cried out after his family until they were no longer in sight. They were gone... And he was too young to understand why they had not tried to save him.


Many years had passed and the youngster, who had been given the name Arlo by the brutish Matriarch, grew up to be a very handsome Spiral. His body shimmered with a brilliant, shadowy iridescence and his wings gave off a soft green glow to match the glowshrooms scattered about the Shadowbinder's lands. He looked as though he belonged in these dark forests, and his heart yearned to.

But the Matriarch was just as cruel as she had been during their first meeting. She hated how active and happy the Spiral always was. He'd zip about the lair constantly, chattering nonstop with the other clan members who usually enjoyed his company. It drove the large Guardian crazy. Instead of keeping his head low in respect as she walked by, Arlo would always break early and attempt to tell jokes or start conversation with her.

The shadowy Pearlcatcher often came to Arlo's aid in these situations, forcing his body protectively between the two before the Guardian could tear the Spiral asunder, attempting to defuse the situation - or at the very least distract the Matriarch until the others could pull Arlo out of harms way. It was quite different from the home the little Spiral had been born into. Instead of carefree happiness there was always tension and fear.

When Arlo finally became of age where starting a family was of interest to him, the Matriarch would often chase him into the back of the den with gnashing teeth and thundering wings. The poor Spiral would then be held there for long periods of time in the Guardian's attempt to prevent this overactive noodle from finding anyone to reproduce with. She was not ready to put up with more nonsense, for one was bad enough. So there he would sit, alone in the darkness. The Guardian would not speak to him, and the rest of the clan was separated from him. With hardly any room to move and no fresh air all the way in the back of the den, it was solitary confinement.

He was being driven mad. Spirals are an active breed, and he could not do as the Windsinger's will had intended! The den echoed with his screams of agony and loneliness, loud thuds rumbling through the tunnels from the Spiral's frantic, spastic movements in such a confined space. He tied himself in knots and rolled across the floors and walls. But the Guardian would not let him out. She cared little for the spiral, and even less for his crying, begging and promises to stop bothering her.

Finally, one of the newer members of the clan, though much older in age, approached the Matriarch. The two of them sized each other up - the massive dark scaled Guardian, and the armored Wildclaw with a fiery hide. Both were proud, but that was where the similarities ended. While one was ruthless and terrible, the other was kind, trustworthy and honorable. Somehow the Wildclaw was able to convince the Matriarch to release Arlo from his confinement without any bloodshed. The Spiral couldn't have been happier! After untangling himself with the aid of the Wildclaw, Arlo took to the skies, stretching himself out and breathing in fresh air for the first time in months.

Eventually, a female Spiral had made her way into the clan. Arlo quickly fell head over heels for her. Tetai was a beautiful tiger striped female, her red wings painted with natural markings like extra eyes, her true eyes as blue as the oceans she was born from. The two of them became inseparable. Their bodies would tangle and dance in the moonlight each night, exploring each other as if it were for the first time. It had been so long since Arlo had seen another Spiral, let alone been able to touch one. He could not get enough of her.
It wasn't long before they had a clutch of their own, and became the proud parents of four little shadowy eggs. But both of them kept this a secret from the Matriarch. They feared if the eggs were found, the Guardian would destroy the entire clutch, and so it remained their little secret. But when the day came that the little ones hatched, the secret became harder to keep, for little Spirals were active things. It was impossible to keep them under control. Arlo loved each one of them though, despite how difficult it was to keep them where he wanted. They were his everything.

Tetai and Arlo did everything they could to keep the Guardian from finding their children... But the active offspring eventually gave themselves away. As soon as she caught wind of the unapproved breeding, the massive brute of a Matriarch burst through the bushes to where the young spirals were being hidden. Tetai was on watch that night. Her blue eyes went wide in terror as she scrambled to gather up her offspring. Arlo's ears perked as the sound of furious roars rumbled through the area. He had a horrible feeling in his gut as he rushed towards where his children were supposed to be kept safe, only to find the Matriarch and Tetai in the heat of battle. Claws raked across flesh as teeth gnashed. Tetai's long body wrapped around the Matriarch's neck, who would in turn slam the Spiral against the side of the den and drag her tangled body across the earth, ripping scales from Tetai's lovely hide. Arlo wanted to help, but from the corner of his eye he noticed his offspring. Two lay on the ground, broken and motionless. He had to make a choice, and he chose to save the youngsters while he still could. He scooped them up and whisked them away while the two dragons fought... Praying that his lover would be okay.

All four some how survived the attack, and Arlo would find places for each. It was the most difficult thing he ever had to do, but he couldn't have his babies in such a dangerous lair. He knew that some of his offspring would end up being trained to serve the Deities as warriors, while the others would become important members of their own clans. He knew that where ever they ended up, it would be better than here. Returning home without them was saddening, but he felt somehow relieved. He had wanted to raise and love his children. He wanted to be there for them. He wanted to be a father.. But more than anything, he wanted them to live a safe and happy life.

However, the relief was short-lived. When he returned to the clan, he found that his beloved Tetai was gone. Upon questioning the others Arlo was told that the beautiful Spiral had escaped with her life, but was banished from the clan by the Matriarch despite the attempts by the shadowy Pearlcatcher to change her mind. Arlo was heartbroken. For weeks he kept to himself, barely eating. The normally over-active Spiral was nothing more than a limp noodle sitting in the corner of the den. He had lost his loved one and was forced to give away his children. Everything he had loved and cared for was gone.

But months later came a miracle. A dragon from the Plague-lands had made their way to the clan and was accepted by the Matriarch. It was a female Spiral, with a tiger-striped hide and shimmering red wings to match her glowing red eyes. Her name was Mirach, a shy female with a bubbly attitude when around those she felt comfortable with. It was Mirach that went to Arlo and soothed his broken heart with kind words and gentle attention. She refused to leave his side and would offer him meals to keep him from starving himself. Eventually, Arlo broke free from his spell of sadness and grew to love this beautiful female.
Before they knew it, the two of them had a clutch together.

The other clan members helped protect these young ones, and kept them from bothering the brutish Guardian. It was because of the help from the others that Arlo could become a true father and raise his little ones. Oh how he loved each and every one of them! They'd slither and flop about all over his coiled body while he sang or told stories passed down from his old clan. As the youngsters grew, he and Mirach would then teach the little ones to fly! The family of Spirals would dance about in the dark skies, darting between trees and hiding amongst the glowshrooms. Arlo had found his calling. To be a father. It was what he loved.

And so as time went on, Arlo and his partner would go on to have many more clutches together, raising each child with love and affection. But as each clutch grew, the Matriarch became more and more agitated with the little family. It was decided that each one would be sent away upon adolescence to a new clan, where they would be safe from harms way. Many served the Deities as great warriors just as Tetai's offspring had, while others started families of their own. But each one remained forever in Arlo and Mirach's hearts. They were their children and they would always love them. Such proud parents they were, happy to see their children able to find success and safety.

But why would Arlo not leave? He had been taken from his family by force by the very same Guardian that kept him confined against his will, chased off his first lover and prevented him from keeping his children. Would he not be better away from such a beast? Perhaps. But it was not often that the Matriarch was even around, and the rest of his clan was his family now. Most of his time was spent with the ones that cared for him in return, as if he was related by blood. He enjoyed going out and finding food with the others, and trading with the other clans. Despite everything, Arlo was happy. And that was enough for him to stay.
Last edited by Lupen202 on Tue Jan 05, 2016 2:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Neiara - NE Hunter - Burning Blade (US) - Denial of Service

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Re: Help with lore? Grammer/spelling/Punctuation

Unread post by Bowno »

;.; Thank you so much Lupen! I'm terrible at these things, so any sort of help like this is really really appreciated. It looks a lot better now! *hugs*

Siggy under construction!

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