Rant Thread

[Silivren]

Depression is a terrible thing and a killer even if others do not recognize it. I dont mean to sound rude of offensive but perhaps have you talked to a doctor? Maybe they could find some mdication that will help balance it out. It isnt your fault as it wasnt in a close friend of mines case. Her brain wasnt producing the correct amount of chemicals it needed so she was emotionally unbalanced. Above all else let others try to help you even if its just trying, you'd be surprised what they can do that'll completely turn it around. There is nothing shameful about being upset and admitting that you need help and there is certainly no failure in attempting to kill yourself rather you havent failed because you didnt do it. People care about you Nub and I know the people here may be just an online community but we all worry about your safety and well being all the same. You take care of yourself ok?

Believe it or not I've been on medication before, but I got the doctor's permission to stop taking it after I felt I didn't really need it anymore. That was years ago, though, and I'm kind of bothered by the idea now because while it does work sometimes, it feels like my existence hinges on taking two pills a day, every day.

And anyway, the family is still too poor to take me anywhere. I haven't been to a doctor since I was 16.

I'm less worried about myself and more about the people around me. If it's annoying to me it has to drive them insane. And I...really, really don't want to drive away the people I love the most. The last thing I want now is to be alone.

Dont ever fear that hun. The people you love and who love you back will NEVER leave you alone. I used to be scared of that too and often have bouts where I'll ask my boyfriend if my crazy somewhat paranoia of some things will drive him away. But you know what? It doesnt because he loves me just as I'm sure Ryan(I think thats your bf's name hehe) and your family/friends love you. You know what works for you and my advice is to always make yourself happy, while others may call it selfish think of yourself every once in a while or rather all the time! Work on making you happy! Cause tbh as cheesey as it sounds, your worth it.

[Azunara]

Augh.

I start a summer school today, to make sure I don't lose what I learned over the course of the summer and get ready for the new school I'm going too. In order to catch the bus I wanted, I had to be up by 6:30. Easily done.

Get up today, and somehow, my brain says, "Hey! Azu! 5:27! Get up get up get up get up!" So I do so. Start looking for a stupid document I CAN'T FIND DAMMIT and realize that's it only 5:30 and I could have slept an hour later.

So I have a good hour or so to kill, and the stupid paper I need is lost because no one in this household knows where to put crap. When people say, "On the printer!" I'd like it to be ON THE PRINTER.

Edit: Some days I wish I really was as careless and didn't give as much as damn about people as I like to think I do. Rather frustrating, because when I see friends upset, I'd like to help them, but I can only be helpful so many times before I just sound like a broken record and nothing will change. Despite being told, "Forget it.", I have issues doing that. And then people get upset and accuses people, and never once says thanks to me. Go figure.

[Nili]

My husband just bought me a kickass new computer, Windows 7, the likes you know.. a proper gamer computer. Problem is, it's blue screening all the time. We know what the problem is an we're taking it to our computer guy for a new memory card.
My rant? I wanna go ingame and tame Sambas but grrrrr I can't even stay in the game for ten minutes. That and it's really fudging hot here.. that's what I get for asking for warmer sunny weather. Freaking England, it's either really cold or really hot! Give me back my Georgia weather please!

[rubybeam]

When you look on your deviantart, look at all your friends pictures, see other friends commenting on them. Then you look at yours and so no comments nor favorites unlike your friends
and you have to create drama to talk to them

and the way you used to know them is replaced by something else and they never bother talking to you anymore
so your the lowest
and you try so hard to comment and talk to them and even with that the comments are short
and all in the end they ignore you unless you use drama

[AdamSavage]

My husband just bought me a kickass new computer, Windows 7, the likes you know.. a proper gamer computer. Problem is, it's blue screening all the time. We know what the problem is an we're taking it to our computer guy for a new memory card.
My rant? I wanna go ingame and tame Sambas but grrrrr I can't even stay in the game for ten minutes. That and it's really fudging hot here.. that's what I get for asking for warmer sunny weather. Freaking England, it's either really cold or really hot! Give me back my Georgia weather please!

Sounds a cooling problem. You could also try and limit the number of frames per second the game renders by typing the following command in the in-game Chat window:

/console maxfps (the max number of frames you want)

[Lupis]

Another. Freaking. Headache.

[rubybeam]

stupid me and my stupid drama and stupid apologies that dont work
stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid
stupid

I really do wish that I can grow wings and liftoff
and now I wish I didn't have such stupid low-self esteem. Pity me for being me
I hate the drama I made
I hate myself
I hate my freaking mind stupid personalty's that will randomly come out and jump on me
I hate that I just mad almost all my friends mad at me for some depression that had gotton me shaking with sadness overnight
I hate
hate it
Hate it
Hate it
Hate it.

people are I am just a fucking low drama queen aren't I?
why am I causing even more drama?
I dont know but im probably annoying the hell out of even more people now
and I hate myself for that to I'd like to point out that im not insulting anyone but myself here

[Kylah]

When you look on your deviantart, look at all your friends pictures, see other friends commenting on them. Then you look at yours and so no comments nor favorites

^This

And being lonely/sad a lot lately
and feeling sick from the stupid heat
and my computer being horrible
and having writers block
and whenever I make a forum thread it usually dies (my latest one is doing the best so far though!)
and that my stuffed husky has a hole in her back...so sad


*glances up at list* Hmm...that felt good to get rid of that
WTB portal to Narnia PST!! Tipping a lot!!!

[Litlemouse]

Owie, horrible eyeball-headache thing >.< I had to turn all the lights off in my room (it's dark out) and put my phone on the lowest brightness possible to make it feel better.

[cowmuflage]

Stress fucking first years can't take bloody orders for the life of them I don't know how the first year tudors handle this bull.

[Niabi]

As I've mentioned before, my Grandpa's fight with liver cancer is coming into its final days. I've made arrangements to go and be with him (hopefully before he passes) and to help care for my Grandma who has alzheimers and dementia ... or so I thought.

About 2-3 weeks ago I submitted a request for a Personal Leave of Absence from my place of employment. I confided to my manager about my situation and asked her if it would be possible to take two months off to allow me to spend time with my Grandfather, help my family care for my Grandmother (we don't have the heart to put her in a home or facility), and to help finalize funeral plans, etc. She stated to me that this wouldn't be a problem and that she would handle the required paperwork for me.

I am scheduled to work till the end of this week and will fly out on the 6th. Just two days ago, my manager hands me copies of our company's Leave Policies and informs me that I'll need to contact Human Resources immediately to document and initiate my request. She tells me that it is vital I call HR, for failure to do so will be recorded as job abandonment and therefore, lead to termination. Now granted, all employees are expected to notify management, who then notify HR (or so I thought), at least two weeks prior to the start date of a leave. I was well within the required timeframe when I first discussed my temporary leave with my boss.

Today I was finally able to speak to a HR representative (they don't work on the weekends). I was told that they had not been notified or sent any paperwork for my request. After giving them all the information I could provide, they said they would call my store and see what was going on. HR has not called me back.

I work tomorrow morning and so I will talk to my manager again and also get back in touch with HR to follow up. I'm really freaking out because my flight leaves in a week and I really don't want to just go and hope for the best only to discover by doing so, I might have lost my job in the process. My Grandpa and I are extremely close and he is the most important man in my life aside from my husband. I cannot even fathom the idea of canceling the trip. I'd never be able to live with myself afterwards.

Not only do I have all this stress riding on my shoulders, at the same time, my husband has been in and out of the hospital battling a rather serious internal infection (for those of you who don't know already, my husband is on dialysis for his kidneys while we wait for a transplant operation ... been waiting for 7 years now). He's ok but he's on some new medications that have some rather serious side effects. His medical condition alone causes his blood pressure to become sporadic. If his blood pressure stays too high for too long - he can go into cardiac arrest and if it stays too low for too long - he can go into heart failure. Needless to say, I don't sleep much because of this. Medications help keep it stabilized but he's been on them for so long now that the doctors have to change around the dosage from time to time to keep it working.

Some of you have already reached out to me and offered your condolences. I am truly thankful for that. I read so many of your stories here on the forums and can see, in some extent or another, how all of us are having to deal with personal/emotional issues. I think it is so great that we have a place like this where we can let things out and feel safe about it.

I just ... this stress ... there are no words to describe it right now. And the depression! Omg! I cry almost every day when I get home from work. My body is so sore and achy all the time. Lately at work, when I am feeling particularly stressed out, I've noticed my mind will randomly blank out on me. Tasks and procedures that I am well familiar with - I'll just go "stupid" and mess up or forget things (which in turn, makes the relationship I have with my fellow co-workers and supervisors uncomfortable - most of them pass me off as a total spaz). It's shattering my self-confidence and sense of self-worth!


________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

[rubybeam]

Theres going to be alot of harsh swearing ahead


2 days and one night
iv'e been crying non-stop

all because of some stupid drama iv'e created, Iv'e been a huge bitch and iv'e pissed people off. I'm not used to this and I'm really sorry, iv'e tried to the best could
but they they dont want to be fucking around anymore
despite me trying and striving my hardest, Iv'e promised no more drama, I promised I wont insult, iv'e made giftart and tried the best I fucking could
But they I ruin the mood when im around

they want me gone. its probably better than just being around ruining the mood and being sad 24/7
I cry myself to sleep because of this
and im so sick of it. I tried, I tired the best I could

heck I feel like im not rubybeam anymore. I dont deserve to be rubybeam anymore

[Nili]

Sounds a cooling problem. You could also try and limit the number of frames per second the game renders by typing the following command in the in-game Chat window:

/console maxfps (the max number of frames you want)

It was a memory chip problem, the computer was brand new and handles WoW fine, it was browsing the internet that caused it to crash. It's all better now though ^^

[AdamSavage]

Theres going to be alot of harsh swearing ahead


2 days and one night
iv'e been crying non-stop

all because of some stupid drama iv'e created, Iv'e been a huge bitch and iv'e pissed people off. I'm not used to this and I'm really sorry, iv'e tried to the best could
but they they dont want to be fucking around anymore
despite me trying and striving my hardest, Iv'e promised no more drama, I promised I wont insult, iv'e made giftart and tried the best I fucking could
But they I ruin the mood when im around

they want me gone. its probably better than just being around ruining the mood and being sad 24/7
I cry myself to sleep because of this
and im so sick of it. I tried, I tired the best I could

heck I feel like im not rubybeam anymore. I dont deserve to be rubybeam anymore

*offers a comfort hug*

[Worba]

Theres going to be alot of harsh swearing ahead


2 days and one night
iv'e been crying non-stop

all because of some stupid drama iv'e created, Iv'e been a huge bitch and iv'e pissed people off. I'm not used to this and I'm really sorry, iv'e tried to the best could
but they they dont want to be fucking around anymore
despite me trying and striving my hardest, Iv'e promised no more drama, I promised I wont insult, iv'e made giftart and tried the best I fucking could
But they I ruin the mood when im around

they want me gone. its probably better than just being around ruining the mood and being sad 24/7
I cry myself to sleep because of this
and im so sick of it. I tried, I tired the best I could

heck I feel like im not rubybeam anymore. I dont deserve to be rubybeam anymore

also

[Nubhorns]

Theres going to be alot of harsh swearing ahead


2 days and one night
iv'e been crying non-stop

all because of some stupid drama iv'e created, Iv'e been a huge bitch and iv'e pissed people off. I'm not used to this and I'm really sorry, iv'e tried to the best could
but they they dont want to be fucking around anymore
despite me trying and striving my hardest, Iv'e promised no more drama, I promised I wont insult, iv'e made giftart and tried the best I fucking could
But they I ruin the mood when im around

they want me gone. its probably better than just being around ruining the mood and being sad 24/7
I cry myself to sleep because of this
and im so sick of it. I tried, I tired the best I could

heck I feel like im not rubybeam anymore. I dont deserve to be rubybeam anymore

Girl, come over here and sit down and listen to me for a minute.

I saw the post before mod edit, and I have a few things to say to you. Now don't go into this in a foul mood, because it'll just seem useless and patronizing then. Come back with a clearer mind and dry eyes. I can wait.



You good?




Don't you ever, ever doubt your worth as a living, breathing human being ever again, or I will kick your butt. Ruby, you are an immensely entertaining, talented, sweet girl and it drives me insane to see you so upset. I'm in the same boat you are, you know, and when I was younger I was so goddamned frustrated by the fact that I was hurting so badly and I couldn't fix it. And years from then, I'm hurting again, and I see people around me hurting too, and I still haven't figured out the magical cure-all. It fucking sucks.

But you know that we care about you. You know that we appreciate you. If someone is going to hassle you over some stupid Internet trivialities they're not worth your time, they're not even worth the breath you'd spend telling them to fuck off in the first place. The pain does pass, there is time to catch your breath and pick up the pieces and fix your hair and go back out into the fray. Don't let them get to you, just set your jaw and grit your teeth and move on through it all. It's not entirely easy, but you have many, many people here who are more than happy to help and it does get better. I can't really stress that enough. It really, honest to whatever deity you believe in, gets better. Even if you feel like you're at the very bottom of the world, the only way is up, isn't it?

[Kurenio]

Is it bad I just wanna slit peoples throats.... ALSO I HATE FUCKING FROST MAGES NO OTHER CLASS COULD HAVE DONE THAT...

[Azunara]

Bored. I want to draw, can't bring myself to do it and find something I like.

Eh. I need to do some ref art.

[cowmuflage]

This 1st year in my group. Today was the 3rd time this week shes left early with out telling us. Her excuss? " I have family issues" I'm sorry but every one has that it's not a reason to wag school. This group challenge may not count towards anything for you 1st years but for us 3rd years If we don't pass we can't repeat it and we can't graduate this year. I need EVREY person in my group so we can finsih intime ok so stop bloody waging! >:(

[Miyon]

Arf. I want both the new cats on two of my hunters, the white on Miyon and the blue on Xiela. Currently camping Ban in the tree with Miyon, and flying around for the cats with Xie. I'll be damned if the white cat spawns first, because then I am going to have a hell of a time relogging and getting there before someone snags it. Stress... I want to level my alts too. Screw not having two accounts and two computers. Oh, and I don't know if the cats might have spawned yet even. Servers have been up since before 10.30 and there is an alliance hunter camping Ban too.

Edit: Bleeh. My arts of camping have disappeared. I am bored and impatient, and my mount is growling me in my ears.. Can't it just shut up? >.<

2nd edit: Upon finally finding one of the cats, Magria on Xiela, I logged Miyon and started camping the birdie. I found out the hard way that npcscan now targets already tamed hunter pets. It went off on Terrorpene, and I hit the target pane before I saw if it was the bird or not, and it showed a terrorpene with a green healthbar. Wtf.