Rant Thread
- Arthur
- Grand Master Hunter
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Re: Rant Thread
The last few months of my life have been hell. My mental health has taken a nose-dive for the worst, my physical health is as bad as ever, and I just feel like I don't have what it takes to keep going. I just don't want to do anything.. I have had a hard time doing anything, even things I enjoy like playing WoW and FR. I can barely get out of bed even though I can't sleep! Everything feels pointless and a waste of time. ): I'm trying really hard to make things better but it's difficult. My meds don't seem to be helping (at least as much as I'd like them to) and my therapist is really not great and moves my appointments all the time. Plus the constant struggle with negative and intrusive thoughts and harmful impulses. There's just.. so much more, abusive family, pet deaths, too much to even begin with.
I'm very fed up.. I'm going to try to go into the new year with a more positive outlook and try even harder but God it's really difficult.
- Aleu
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Re: Rant Thread
...then I worked retail. I hate Christmas now.
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- Niabi
- Master Hunter
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Re: Rant Thread
I suffer from a great deal of ailments, one of which involves my spine, so this simple task wasn't easy. I haven't driven a car in 4 years because my mobility has grown increasingly limited but I soldiered on and got him to the ER! By that point however, they might as well have made up a bed for me too!
We were there for two and a half hours before my husband received any kind of medication to relieve his pain. Shortly after, he was wheeled away to get a CAT scan. Two more hours go by and we had not yet received any updates regarding the outcome of that scan or his bloodwork. Luckily the morphine they gave him finally kicked in so he was able to get some rest.
Now, I think the reason my body hadn't given up on me by that point was due to the adrenaline coursing through my bloodstream. Sitting for too long is excruciating and if I stand for too long, my legs succumb to fatigue and I risk falling and injuring myself. As my husband slept and I continued to wait, I felt the adrenaline ebb and the debilitating, insufferable pain of my body kick into overdrive!
By the sixth hour, I was losing the war within myself. Shifting every 10 minutes from sitting to standing was no longer doing me any good. I had no more options. The pain was unbearable. I had to go home. I woke up my husband and told him I had to go, and to call me when he hears anything.
I've been checking in often. The poor thing was admitted into the hospital. He has some sort of blockage obstructing his abdominal wall. Doctors are attempting to unblock it but it looks as though he might have to have surgery tomorrow. And I lay here in bed, unable to move and be there at his side.
I'm angry and ashamed at myself. If something goes wrong for my husband, I don't know what I'm going to do! His health has always been bad. He's a two-time kidney transplant recipient and was on paritoneal dyalisis for over a decade before we got the second transplant. He's constantly in and out of the hospital for various reasons and I can't even manage to take him half of the time because of my own health! I feel like even my smallest efforts aren't good enough anymore.
But enough sadness and self-pity for one night. Am I right!?
"Happy Holidays y'all! I wish I had a drink!"
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- Dewclaw
- Illustrious Master Hunter
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Re: Rant Thread
http://flightrising.com/main.php?p=lair ... e&id=21632- Flight Rising
Kia Kaha.
- Niabi
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Re: Rant Thread
The doctors in charge of administrating and monitoring the fluids needed to remove internal obstructions had Christmas off, so nothing was done yesterday to get that process started . I don't know why ALL of them had to have the holiday off but I can't do anything about that now. He's still in a lot of pain but the morphine they're giving him helps just enough to let him sleep through most of the day. I'm just hoping he won't need surgery so he can be home before the end of the week.
Even his surgeon asked about me and understood my reasons for not being there. It helped to make me feel a tad less guilty.
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- Dewclaw
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Re: Rant Thread
http://flightrising.com/main.php?p=lair ... e&id=21632- Flight Rising
Kia Kaha.
- Niabi
- Master Hunter
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Re: Rant Thread
You are dealing with so much these days. I wish there was more I could do than offer up my condolences and support here on the forums.
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- Dewclaw
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Re: Rant Thread
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Kia Kaha.
- Varethyn
- Petopia Artist
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Re: Rant Thread
I am so goddamn sick of feeling like I'm alone, like no one cares. I am sick of feeling like people are ignoring me when they aren't. I'm sick of hurting people by lashing out, wondering why they weren't there for me when I needed them. I'm sick and tired of being passive-aggressive when I don't mean it that way. And I'm especially sick of when these things happen right after doing something involving, like seeing in the new year with my family. Then the thoughts, the unlikely if not impossible scenarios start, in which people, real or figments of my imagination, treat me like shit, avoid me, take my friends or pretend to be my friend only to ditch me at the first opportunity.
And if anyone's wondering, I have been put forward for counselling. However I have been put on a week-long course that requires a lot of travel to get to and the earliest counselling session was the same day the course started. So I get to feel like shit for another 2 weeks or so, and possibly have another panic attack/emotional breakdown during the course. Joy.
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Rest in peace mum. I really did love and miss you, even if I never got to see you.
- Teigan
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Re: Rant Thread
- Sukurachi
- Grand Master Hunter
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Re: Rant Thread
Great going Blizzard, in reinforcing your view that "Alliance good, Horde evil".
Even the choice of music at the end of the final cutscene pissed me off.
A bit of palindromic wisdom:
"Step on no pets!"
Casual player.. don't raid, don't PvP. Suffer from extreme altitis
I love pets - combat or non.
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- Ana
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Re: Rant Thread
Hubby just picked up our Keys. More "good" news. They appartement has holes in the walls, no fridge, no freezer, no oven. The floors are worn and old. The sink in the bathroom is larger than on the pictures so I can defo not fit in the shower ... so yay.Tårnfalk wrote:Moving thursday ! The munnicipal system has found us an appartement without stairs, aka on the ground floor. At first glance it sounds good but there are sooo many negative sides to it.
#A very small bathroom. Only a meter in width. I can barely fit in . The shower part of the room is even worse. . Only 60 centimeters wide and one meter long. How on earth am i suppose to take a shower? I can't stand for more than max 3 minutes and no way you can fit a chair in
# 10 kilometers further away from my friends. Where we live now they are just 2"-5 minuts away. I know 10 kilometers don't sounds as much but most ppl in Copenhagen don't own a car and there is a lot of difference between walking max 1 kilometer to walking 10!
# The whole appartement is around 10m2 smaller than what we got and we can barely fit our stuff in here.
#The biggest prison in Denmark is less than a kilometer away from where they want to move us. It's also where they put the most nasty prisoners. .yay :/
#if you throw a rock out of our Windows towards one of the sides you will hit the train track. Less than 50 meters away there will be running trains at all hours because Copenhagen is a capital.
And we have no choice. We have to move. Else they take my benefits and we have no income. .
Im very frustrated. I have a really hard time coping with changes (i got mild ocd) and it's just super stressing :/
We have a fridge /freezer we can take with us, but have not got an oven as the one we use now belongs to the appartement we live in now... and no money to buy one for our new place.
Love being forced to move to a worse place :/
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- Dewclaw
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Re: Rant Thread
{{{{hugs}}}}
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Kia Kaha.
- Ana
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Re: Rant Thread
HUGE thanks to Makoes, Syleye, FeralClaw, Pingupuff, Karin,Bowno, Varethyn, Ashaine, Kishay, Aki (Täräin13), my friend Marie and some lovely ppl on Fligth Rising for my lovely sig
- Varethyn
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Re: Rant Thread
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Rest in peace mum. I really did love and miss you, even if I never got to see you.
- Teigan
- Illustrious Master Hunter
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Re: Rant Thread
Edit: also, you're religious, won't your church help?
- Ana
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Re: Rant Thread
Many many kids live in poverty because they can't get help. Their parents are too sick to work but according to the system they should just get their act together and get a job. We just had a court case where a woman with scheleroses (can't spell that ) had been denied pension for 17 years.
Another case was a paralyzed man who could only blink but according to the system he could maintain a job for 15 minuts a week and were denied pension
Sick ppl are worth nothing in denmark.
Our brothers and sisters (religion ) helps a lot but none of them are rich ppl so they don't have much to give. But what they can they do.
HUGE thanks to Makoes, Syleye, FeralClaw, Pingupuff, Karin,Bowno, Varethyn, Ashaine, Kishay, Aki (Täräin13), my friend Marie and some lovely ppl on Fligth Rising for my lovely sig
- Dewclaw
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Re: Rant Thread
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Kia Kaha.