Female Reproductive Health [explicit]

[Mania]

I really don't want this thread to devolve into concern trolling. (It occurs to me that without context, that sounds like I think some of you are trolling, which isn't exactly what I mean. I need better words.)

At any rate, let's just say 'regular checkups are a good thing' and 'see your doctor when you think something might be wonky' are both valid statements, and how we decide to apply them to ourselves is an individual decision. And let's move on.

[VelkynKarma]

Here's the dealio. I'm not sexually active (in fact to be perfectly honest the very thought of it terrifies me). I have no plans on changing this any time soon. I'm twenty-two but I've never once dated, willingly (I've been asked out a few times, but always turn them down). It's a bit awkward, actually, since...well, my family doesn't exactly seem to get it. Not that they're not totally understanding people (we have family members who are homosexual and we're 100% supportive of them) but most of my family doesn't seem to really, I dunno, get my lack of interest in and/or discomfort with sex and such. In fact, it's such an awkward topic that nobody really knows how to deal with, that I don't think I've ever told any of them I'm more than a little terrified of the whole mess.

I could be way off base here, but have you looked into asexuality? Not all people who aren't into sex and dating are asexual, but asexuality sounds like it might match some of your feelings. Asexuality is a valid sexual orientation and there is a loose internet support structure of other asexuals to chat with, so it may be something you'd like to learn more about.

For anyone who wants more info: Here's the basic Wikipedia article on asexuality, but I'd recommend looking at the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN).

Huh...actually, that's kinda...weirdly accurate. I was just poking around the AVEN website at their basic overviews and such and a lot of it sounds really spot-on. I'll have to poke around the website a little more and check it out, but either way, thanks for the links Mania.

As for everybody else, thanks for your advice and such. Wark, I think, after thinking about this a lot more and considering your suggestions, you're probably right...I think I need to get over the physical contact issue before I could even begin to move forward on the doctoring one (or anything else for that matter). I can bring myself to speak to my family, I'm sure, and under normal circumstances I can put up with things that are unpleasant but good for me (like getting shots...sucks, but I can deal). Buuuuut this just freezes me right up. And I think that's the root of the problem.

Love you all, guys

~VelkynKarma

[TygerDarkstorm]

I hope you get everything worked out for you Velkyn. I don't know what it's like to be in your situation, but I'm confident you'll be able to slowly learn to overcome your fear (or dislike, I'm not really sure how to describe it) in the interest of keeping your lady bits healthy.

[Gumballs]

Alright! So many things are being discussed in this topic and I really like how (for the most part) people can be open and not judged here. So I'm going to post my opinions and a question on things as well.

Birth control: I started on the patch, because I knew the pill wasn't for me. For those who don't know, it basically is like a sticker you put on your thigh, bum, etc. that releases hormones through the skin. The negative about it was it was NOT hot for bikini season. I hated that it showed, and because it was a sticker the edges would get goopy and gross. I ended up switching to NuvaRing, and I LOVE it. It's a ring you insert yourself in your vagina for three weeks, then take it out for a week to have your period. A lot of girlfriends I have were a little weirded/grossed out by the fact you have to put it in yourself, but it's nothing really. It takes 2 seconds, and then you don't feel it at all. No complaints during sex or foreplay of it being felt either. I also have nicer skin and hair, and more pleasant moods because of it. I would recommend birth control to any teenage (or older) woman, even one who is not sexually active.

Pap Tests: GET THEM DONE! I'm 18 and I have had two paps done. I will tell you it is awkward, but it isn't all that bad. It only takes a few minutes and it can save your life. I hope that no one on these forums, or really anyone, has to deal with cervical or any other kind of cancer. I honestly think every woman should get a pap regularly. It's better to be safe then sorry.

@Velkyn: Coming to terms with your sexuality would be a great starter I think to working your way up to pap tests. If you think asexuality sounds accurate for yourself, then talking to other asexual people about this might help you out. Either way I wish you the best!

Okay. Now for my part.

I've been wanting a toy for a while. I don't have a lot of girl friends (most of my friends are guys) so I think it would be awkward to 'make a day out of it' with them, as much fun as I think that would be. I'm dating my best friend, and he is incredibly open to these kind of things, and said if I wanna go he'd go because he wants to look into getting some toys for himself also. I'm just worried it would be awkward, not for him and I but just in general. I dont know, maybe it's an irrational fear I have, I'm just embarrassed. Generally I'm open about my sexuality etc. but only to people I am close with.

So I guess my question is: to any woman who has bought toys for themselves, what was your experience, and how can I get over my awkwardness/embarrassedness to actually go in and buy one?

[TygerDarkstorm]

I have a similar situation to you, Gumballs. I don't mind talking about sexuality and whatnot, but when it comes to buying stuff related to it, I get weirded out and embarrassed. I guess I'm afraid that the person behind the counter and other customers might judge me for wanting to buy sexy langerie, lube, vibrator, etc.

Which is kind of funny since I'm a bagger for a grocery store and I bag condoms, lube, and pads for people fairly regularly and it doesn't faze me one bit. Actually encountered the first woman I've seen buying a box of condoms the other day.

[Gumballs]

I can buy condoms no problem. But yeah, thats how I feel, which is incredibly weird considering I'm an 'out there' person you could say and I don't really care what other people think about me usually. I want to buy sexy, kinky lingerie and some kinky toys for both me and my partner but I'm embarassed. I want to get over this and Im not sure if I just need to jump in with both feet and do it or baby steps or what. xD

I figuring talking about it might help.

[Saturo]

Condoms and pills and whatever aren't problematic in my experience. Even bought a corset and a leather collar without anything weird being asked or such. I don't imagine that buying toys in a sex-toy-store would be a lot of trouble. The people who work there get more customers than you, and any other customers would be equally embarassed, if not more. That said, is it not possible to buy it online?

[lilatha]

Gumballs, like you said your boyfriend would go with you so maybe go with him. Again he is open with you and if your both buying something it wouldn't seem so werid. I myself feel alot happier to go along with my boyfriend when buying from those sorta stores.
Then again there is no reason to feel embarrassed, the store workers won't judge you ... In fact most will help you pick something out to suit you they should be really helpful. And if your embarrassed carrying a bag with the stores name on maybe go out for a day and treat yourself, I rememeber hiding something once in a clothes store bag (Primemark ftw!)
The fear of going into the stores or buying stuff like this is common as sex is something you do with someone close to you and you don't really choose to do it out infront of everyone ^^ So when we buy certain things we do get a little awkard

In all honest truth you 't just force yourself one day to go maybe start with baby steps like looking at the windows, walking in looking around and again maybe going in with your boyfriend. In your own time you will feel ok going into those kinda stores.
Then again you have the online choice which again you can do all from home. There are alot of good sites out there which give ratings, levels of kinky-ness (yeah idk whats it called D:) Maybe you could use this as a stepping stone for getting out into a real store

[Gumballs]

Thanks for the advice guys Unfortunately buying online isn't really possible for me as I live at home and don't have a credit card haha. I don't know why I have this 'fear' or whatever you could call it but I appreciate your guys opinions.

[Wark]

Velkyn: Ah! I completely forgot about the asexuality spectrum, good catch Mania. Yes, being completely disinterested in intercourse, or having a relatively low interest in it, are also very valid possibilities. If you think that fits you, the internet should be a wonderful place to find information and similar people (as it is for just about anything). And I wish you luck getting to the bottom of your freezing up! If you're brave enough to even think of facing whatever problems you have, I'd say that bodes well for your ability to overcome.

Gumballs: as someone who can't even buy NORMAL things without cowering and skittering and random displays of panic... I got nothin'. I will put in a vote for buying it at a physical store anyways: a friend gifted me a toy from online, and while it's not half bad and I'm glad I have it, had I had a chance to look it over beforehand I probably would have opted for one that looked a bit less second-hand. (Because if there's one thing you probably don't want, it's second-hand sex toys.)

[EDIT] to mention that even if you can't buy online, it's worth doing some research there! Specifically, try to find out something about the various styles of toys, if you can-- and I'd say a quick lesson in the available materials and their pros/cons would be good. I unfortunately lack links-- maybe someone else here could give you more specific topics to look into.

[GormanGhaste]

even if you can't buy online, it's worth doing some research there! Specifically, try to find out something about the various styles of toys, if you can-- and I'd say a quick lesson in the available materials and their pros/cons would be good. I unfortunately lack links-- maybe someone else here could give you more specific topics to look into.

clitical.com is a website for women that has reviews of toys and all kinds of info. Needless to say, it's a sexually explicit site.

[Gumballs]

Thank you for the link! I never thought about doing research before hand, should be fun.

[Hesantia]

I hope I don't offend anyone now, but hey, a sextoy is probably the most bought thing in a store... I mean, there are some really.. odd... porno movies sold there aswell, and if something that would make me more surprised than a toy. On the other hand, my first toy was bought in a store where they not only sell toys, but a little of each; like costumes, dragons, t-shirts etc, and the clerk was completely cool about it. He just asked if I wanted something more and that was it. So a clerk working at a "real" shop is probably as used to it as someone selling milk in the grocery store. (not that I wasn't nervous about it in the first place though)
Come to think about it, I was working/practicing at a gas station, and one customer asked if we had rubber. I just pointed to the shelf where they were (along with windshield wipers) and he said something about it not being right, because he didn't see the condoms. If he wasn't talking about condoms (which he were) THAT would have been awkward
Hmm... All the customers who bought condoms were guys though... makes me wonder if they are just more bold, or if people still think it's the guys duty to have them...

[Gumballs]

I think that many people assume it is the guy's 'job' to buy condoms, seeing as they are the ones who wear them (excluding female condoms of course but they are less popular). And I think that many women (younger, mostly) think that if they buy condoms, the cashier might think they are slutty or something.

I don't believe these things, buying condoms doesn't bother me at all. I'm protecting myself and my partner, and it doesn't embarrass me one bit that I'm being responsible

[Miraga]

For people are are feeling awkward about going in and purchasing sex toys, I would recommend this website! http://www.tootimid.com/

You don't have to deal with any awkwardness in a store and it's a legit site with lots of reviews for their products! If you live with your parents, someone you don't want seeing this, etc, it actually comes up as a special company name on the package AND on your billing statement things. Here's a quote from the website:

We understand how important it is that you receive your order discreetly. Your order will be shipped in a plain non-descript box with the return address simply stating the box is from Atlantic Innovations. Atlantic Innovations will also be the name you will see on your credit card statement. You will not see the name TooTimid.com on your credit card statement, nor will you see the name TooTimid.com printed on the outside of your shipping box.

Important Information You Need To Know!
We keep your information private
No unrequested catalogs mailed to your home
You determine how fast your want your order
Discreet shipping box & discreet shipping label
Discreet billing as Atlantic Innovations
1 Year Guarantee
Secure website

Just wanted to throw this out there! Hope this helps someone!

[Wark]

Perfect, thanks Gormanghaste! (Hmm, should bookmark that and look at it next time I'm in the market....)

Hesantia, besides whatever gender-related "training," there might be an element of women just not always knowing what to buy. I know on my end that if I hadn't decided to try out non-latex condoms (yay mild allergy) I would never have been brave enough to buy any, because what if I buy the wrong thing? There's so many options! All I know is that the ones that come with spermicide are A Bad Idea. Beyond that, it's a total mystery to me.

[Hesantia]

Hesantia, besides whatever gender-related "training," there might be an element of women just not always knowing what to buy. I know on my end that if I hadn't decided to try out non-latex condoms (yay mild allergy) I would never have been brave enough to buy any, because what if I buy the wrong thing? There's so many options! All I know is that the ones that come with spermicide are A Bad Idea. Beyond that, it's a total mystery to me.

Oh, you're right! I don't use them myself so, well... haven't actually thought about it in that way.. Not fun to buy too big condoms or something, that could really hurt a guys ego
Yeah, I can understand that allergies are NOT fun when it comes to that department.. I know people who are allergic to lubes for example

[Raederle]

Can I just whine for a second about howe much it sucks that I'm currently in the middle of a major acne breakout thanks to my lovely hormones?

Why the HELL do I have to get massively oily skin & pimples after I ovulate? It's SO SO SO annoying!!!!

[cowmuflage]

You know I'd recommend going to the store. I mean looking online is good but then you find some crazy as stuff online like those dildos shaped as dicks of non humans O.o I'm sure those are not good for you I mean yeah just wtf.

Again I would proberly not of gone sex toy shoping if it was not for my mates. It was fun we found a gimp. er anywho sex shop workers are really nice nicer than most clothe store people I have meet. Like not judgemental etc.

I useally buy condoms myself as I like certain types I.E ribbed ones XD. But I have not had a real partner in like a year and I have only had a few one nighters at partys etc so I'm sure the few I still have atm are all past there use by date.

Allso I don't think I want to use these "rings" and stuff If I can get a uber painfull ulcer from a simple tampon then I don't want to know the ones I will get from putting one of them in. I mean they might be easy and stuff but so are tampons >.> the doctor said I'm more likely to get more again so yeah.

Anyone want to buy a fulty vagina? Mines going for cheap.

[lilatha]

Cowmu if the idea of the ring scares you remember there are other options Im sticking with the pill atm just as for me its 1. helping me get over my fear of pills (yey!) and 2. keeps meh safe! Doesnt mean I cant be extra safe and use condoms (evil STD's out there!)
But dont worry to much about your ulcer it most likly comes from you having a heavy bleed. Now since I had a heavy bleed for over a year awhile back (yey the pill injection >.>) I was at a very high risk of going though the same as you but I totally get a OCD when im bleeding and I have to change every so many hours >.< instead of the normal daily times you change but I think this is why I perfered the Pads over Tampons .... That or im just weird ;D

But then again all these little things are normal for us during our child bearing ages.


(PS! I wrote this when I just woke up so no rage about fail grammer /sleeps)