R.I.P. Dexter

[Nick]

D:!

I sorta (maybe, not really) know how you feel. I've lost two pets, one a dog that was a puppy when I was a baby and a cat of the same age (thought I didn't know it at the time, she was my step-dad's). Pets aren't forever like we wish... But we can still try to keep them close to us in heart and mind.

[Jangalian]

/puts an arm over Veph's shoulders

You can go ahead and cry. We'll be here to back you up.

As soon as you can, get another cat. Maybe not tomorrow, or even this week, but as soon as you can bear it. He or she won't be a replacement for your baby, but the soft paws and long tail and sweet purr will help fill that gap that Dexter has left behind.

Time won't heal your broken heart. It will just give you more space to be able to deal with the loss on your own. Remember your kitty how you have loved him, and not by how he died. It's the best memorial he could ask for.

[VelkynKarma]

Aw, Veph...



Having lost pets before myself, I can totally feel where you're coming from. It's a pretty tough thing to deal with, and it sounded like a terrifying experience.

That said, it sounds like you did everything you possibly could have, so you can't blame yourself! Just think of the good ol' days and keep only the good memories.

We're all here for ya, Veph!

~VelkynKarma

[Adam-Savage]

That really sucks he passed away. I had a black cat die on me a few years back. He has been sick and seemed to have pains in his chest area. I figured I would give him a couple days to see if he would get better. However he did not. I got a call from my buddy who I was living with that my cat had died. So when I got home I went right to my room where I had put him last and sure enough his body was all stiff. I wanted to bury him but we lived in an apt so I didn't know what else to do really. I had to get my buddy to figure it out for me as I couldn't handle picking him up as it was just to much for me to deal with.

[Rhyela]

Veph, I'm so sorry to hear about your baby. I'll just echo what others have said before and say that I don't know that there's much more you could have done. You had taken the steps to get him taken care of, there's no way you could have known it would happen the way it did. I suppose when you think about it, it's a good thing you were awake to be with him in his final moments. One of my rats, Whipple, from a few years ago, died in my hands. She was old, and it took almost an hour, but I never left her and I held her the whole time, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. At least the last thing he saw while he was in this world was your face, the face he knew and loved his whole life.

Hugs and love your way, my dear.

[kamoodle5]

The most delicate thing about animals is that they can't tell you where it hurts. It's always very tragic to watch something so delicate suffer but that is nature. Nature chooses for itself. Anyway, we are all here with you to mourn your loss. Nothing's better than a big group hug to chase those horrible feelings away.

I've had the same experience of one of my birds dying in my hand and there was nothing I can do but to keep her warm until she finally had what I thought was a heart attack.

[Kalliope]

*huggles Veph* At least you were with him at the end, you know? He's not hurting anymore, and you were the kindest, most loving mother he could have asked for. He would want you to remember him as he lived, not as he died. Once the shock passes, you'll be able to do that.

*big hugs*

[Quin]

Oh, no. I'm so sorry to hear that your boy passed away, especially in such a fashion.

It is very much not your fault. There was no one you could have known how bad it was, or what was wrong. He couldn't really tell you and it's in an animal's nature to try and hide things. Old instincts tell them that showing 'weakness' makes them vulnerable to predators so they tend to be very stoic.

I'm so very sorry for the loss. If you need an ear, just PM me or something. I'm happy to listen and help anyway I can.

[Mania]

Dizzy, I am ashamed that a member of this community could show such callous disrespect. I understand (better than you might think) where you are coming from. But this is not the way - not the words and not the thread - to express those thoughts.

I'm giving you a one week ban. (Assuming that I can figure out how to do that ...) Feel free to e-mail me about it or PM me when the ban expires.

Let's drop that discussion from this thread now.

Edit: I decided it would just be easier to clean up the thread.

...

Vephriel ... I wish I could say something to make you feel less awful, but I'm still bursting into tears every time I think about Winston. So I'll just cry some for you too, eh?

[Fael]

I know how you feel and I'm sorry you had to go through it that way. I know it's so awful to feel helpless. I loved my cat Chester, still do. I'm certain that I'll never know another cat like him with such a gentlemanly and understanding personality coupled with a rather warrior-like nature when it came to defending his turf. He loved to jump in the car just so he could come along. I remember how he once politely moved aside on the sidewalk while this old lady passed, then moved back. I can't see lions or orange cats without thinking of the guy. He was himself to the end, giving a little paw-squeeze reassuring me when he was fading and I was trying to be there for him. It hurt so much and that kind of pain can make you never want to have another pet.

What helped me with it is the fact that as sad as it seems nothing is in the same state forever, be it life, friendships, jobs.. anything. Seems odd but it helps me focus on how much the time spent with him meant, the experiences that happened that never would have been if he hadn't been there and moments we shared. The comfort, the fun silly times, even him being naughty. Out of all the homes he could have gone to he ended up with mine and I'm so happy to have known him.

I really hope you are able to feel happier soon and that good memories will overcome regret.

[Vephriel]

Thank you Fael, that did cheer me up a bit. Chester really sounds a lot like Dexter.

We found out that it was most likely kidney failure. The sudden symptoms he showed and some discussion with the vet seems like that's the most likely cause. Even if we had been given advance warning there wouldn't have been anything we could have done besides perhaps extend his time a little, most likely with stressful surgeries and at extensive costs.. In a way I'm relieved that I was at least there for him at his final moments. From the sounds of things I would have had to go through this eventually no matter what happened, anything else would have been pushing back the inevitable.

Thank you all again for just giving me a hypothetical shoulder to lean on. The pain isn't gone but I've reached a stage where it's no longer raw. I suppose numb is the best way to describe it. I'm not crying as much anymore, and I can at least start reminiscing on past memories without cracking.

[Rhyela]

Thank you Fael, that did cheer me up a bit. Chester really sounds a lot like Dexter.

We found out that it was most likely kidney failure. The sudden symptoms he showed and some discussion with the vet seems like that's the most likely cause. Even if we had been given advance warning there wouldn't have been anything we could have done besides perhaps extend his time a little, most likely with stressful surgeries and at extensive costs.. In a way I'm relieved that I was at least there for him at his final moments. From the sounds of things I would have had to go through this eventually no matter what happened, anything else would have been pushing back the inevitable.

Thank you all again for just giving me a hypothetical shoulder to lean on. The pain isn't gone but I've reached a stage where it's no longer raw. I suppose numb is the best way to describe it. I'm not crying as much anymore, and I can at least start reminiscing on past memories without cracking.

That's what I figured, to go from a little sick to his later condition so quickly suggested to me it was something very serious that couldn't have been stopped, unlike something like food poisoning that can be treated and recovered from.

I'm glad to hear you're coming along. I know the pain you feel all too well, so please know that myself and the rest of us are here to talk whenever you feel the need.

We love you and wish you all the best.

[Tahlian]

I am so very sorry to hear of Dexter's passing, Veph. We lost my cat Norman's brother, Saxon, to the exact same thing back in October. Cats are very stoic, so it's difficult to tell when they're not feeling well...and by the time we humans can tell, it can sometimes be quite serious. I do not think Dexter would blame you in the slightest for what happened. You did the absolute best you could in making decisions with the information you had.


Safe journeys, Dexter.
May Bast guide your footsteps as you journey to the lands of eternal summer.
And do Veph a favor and send her a sign to let her know you're okay, please?

[Saturo]

Do you mean Bastet, Tahlian? Never heard of a deity or such called Bast, so Bastet is the closest I got. Fitting to, the godess of cats.

[Mania]

Bast is a variant name of Bastet.

[Saturo]

Oh. Right. Ignore stupid me please.
*Hides*

[Vephriel]

Safe journeys, Dexter.
May Bast guide your footsteps as you journey to the lands of eternal summer.

Thank you for the lovely imagery Tahlian, it made me smile.

[winny]

sorry to hear about that Veph, many hugs to you!

[SpiritBinder]

OMG Vephriel. I can't imagine how your feeling, I have a very similar looking kitty too, if I lost her I don't know what I'd do. I don't know you all that well, nor your handsome dexter, but you both have the tears now on my cheeks, and the deepest heart felt sympathy....

/biggest warm hugs in your direction.

[azurelith]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I had to go through the same thing last month with my schnauzer. It was heartbreaking. It happened really suddenly. She was completely fine and showed no signs of anything being wrong until suddenly, she seemed like she didn't want to move. She would not eat and she was breathing a little faster than she should and every once in awhile coughed up a little bit of pink fluid. We really wanted to take her to the vet cause i looked it up and found out she was having sudden hear failure. We had no money to take her to the vet and the vets were closed anyway. When we woke up in the morning, she was collapsed on her bed. She let out a painful cry and blood came pouring out her mouth. We rushed her to the vet as soon as we couldso we could put her out of her suffering. She was screaming in pain on the drive to the vet. We didnt make it in time and she died on the way to the vet. Its really sad to have to watch your best friend suffer and there isn't anything you can do. I still get sad when i look at where she always slept but i just keep telling myself that she is in a better place. We build her a cross and buried her in the back yard.