WoW Petopia Community

WAIT WHAT?? Hostess went bankrupt! NUUUUUUU MY CUPCAKEEEESSSS......................

I.. can't put my thoughts to words. How am I supposed to write this thing for my doctor, so he can refer me to a specialist, when I can't even gather enough of my thoughts to write down coherently? >.

I woke up today with my entire face soaked - Coughing on what I could only assume was my own spit.

I had a mental breakdown in my sleep.

My sleep.

I don't even know what triggered it. I just woke up like that - Not even a nightmare or anything.

My kitty has ticks o.OO EWWWWWW!

It looks like there are two or three different ones though.. She has one on each ear (that I have seen), and two down the back of her neck. I wouldn't have noticed if the fur didn't part. One is black, one is dark gray, and two are red with black legs or something.. They are biiig. So how do I go about removing them?

You use tweezers and pull them off Miyon and then you light them on fire so they die. I had to do that with my dog, dont worry about pulling them off of her, it doesn't really hurt and if it does its only a slight sting.

Ugh, yeah, I wouldn't want them to lay a couple k eggs.. I've had shivers going through my body ever since I saw them. I don't think I have any phobia or anything, but jeebus >:<

I know they're gross but the faster you get rid of them the better your kitty will feel and she'll thank you!

I'll have to bring her some treats. Some cats get really pissy and others are fine with it.. I'll just have to find her first. Wish me luck and hope I don't faint

Well... that's an end to that.

Fighting is hard when you feel no reason what-so-ever to care. I don't even know anymore. I feel like I just keep fucking up. I feel like certain things are hopeless, and I should just give up on them. If I give up... I feel like it's probably the best option. Honestly, because trying here never seems to do anything but cause problems. At least now I have 1 or 2 friends... It's not much... Might not even be enough... but it's better than before. Which at this moment still isn't good... The depression is really bad right now. And I don't know which is worse. Being hysterical over it (I don't even think I have the energy for that anymore... or care enough) or this... blank, uncaring.. emptiness. It's scary. Because I don't care about anything. And images keep running through my head...

I have meds now though... The doc was totally ok with my desire to not be put on meds I'd have to take regularly. So he put me on a really low dose (1/2 of a 50mg tablet) of a pill which used to be used as an antidepressant (so it has antidepressant components) but because of the drowsiness that it causes... sometimes it's prescribed as a sleeping aid (especially for those who also have depression). So I only take it when I'm having bad nights (I can't get to, or stay, asleep when I'm depressed.. which makes me worse since I'm not sleeping well enough), so I won't become dependent on it or anything... But it's still a bit... strange.. I'm just so tired... So tired of losing everything, of not even getting a shot at anything... And so alone at the moment. I've been assured that I'm not. But... that's how it feels. Nobody to talk to at the moment.. Which is what I need.

Why do I always fuck everything up. EVERYTHING

4 years... 4 years I've been looking for that damned cat. Why the hell would Blizzard deem it alright to give him SEVEN spawn points... *sigh* I wish I could give up, but I'm determined to get Loque, after 9 sightings, all of them leading to stolen tames or a death (Not always the killers fault/intention to grief mind you, but distressful non-the-less), a majority of my game time spent there, and not to mention my luck with finding other rares, I just don't see why he isn't mine yet. Alas, I digress, he'll be mine eventually, and if I ever enter that DAMNED Basin ever again, it'll be too soon.

Terrible two's...I never wanted to see you...please pass by quickly and preferabley quietly! Thank you...








GET THAT OUT OF YOUR NOSE!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh why does it have to be so hard to give cats their worm tablets.

Would it be possible to slip it into their food? My kittens took theirs (except it was paste) as long as they got to lick it up on their own initiative.

They both are like how Sylvester was they eat around the pill or if it's crushed just refuse to eat it . So we have to do it the hard way with a towel and pull their heads back and shove it in. Thankfully they are nowhere as big as Sylvester was or as strong so they don't put up as much of a fight but that tongue thats the hard bit XD but if you hold their mouth closed they will swallow eventually it's more of a hasslie than anything else but it's got to be done.

Thank god that cats mouths open when you pull their heads back XD

In my multivariable calculus class we spent the first 40 minutes of class going over homework that was due that day, and everything I had down was wrong. Luckily we didn't have to hand it in till the end. It's making my really depressed though. I'm not even close to where I want to be.

I need to start studying... I WAS originally looking forward to it.. I was going to write a cool story and all that... But now I just have no motivation. I'm feeling alone.. and hopeless... Even my story, that I was really excited about... Dark thoughts won't stop. 2 or 3 thoughts keep passing through my mind... and they aren't productive... they are kind of scary.. and disturbing.. definitely depressing... Not so much ok right now... But I really need to study...

Still not really able to eat... I mean... I probably could eat at least a little bit, but not much... example.. yesterday I had 3 breakfast sausages (you know.. the little tiny ones) and not even an entire order of homefries for lunch and I was SO full.. after not eating breakfast.. Or even much dinner the night before (6 mcnuggets and like.. half amedium milkshake.. oh, and like.. 3 fries (literally)). But.. that lunch yesterday I didn't even end up being able to keep down when my depression spiked again... I know I should eat.. but I just have no motivation to do so... I feel sick when I eat.. I don't even feel HUNGRY... All I've had so far today was a glass of apple juice and a banana. I should probably try and at least drink some milk... It's relatively complete (all/most the amino acids/proteins, many of the required minerals in at least SOME levels... etc), ... But.. there's no motivation to do so... No hunger.. And I know that just like the sleep... this is likely just making everything else worse... I mean.. certain vitamins and minerals are required to make the mood regulating hormones... But.. no motivation... I just don't CARE...

-shakes my fist at the new mortal foe of the desk corner that keeps jetting out to let my knee hit into it.-

have an appointment in an hour... I really don't want to go... I've had this weird unshakable feeling that I'm not safe for the last day or something, and I don't know why...

Doesn't help that I'm still not sleeping through the night... despite my new meds that are supposed to help... I might have to switch from half a pill to a full pill... but I don't know...

I just so tired of all of this... I feel like it's lasting a really long time this time.. only without any cause behind it... At least when I have a cause.. I have something I can try to fix...