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Stupid emotional rant here please feel free to ignore the paragraph below this sentence and skip to the last unrelated sentence.

I feel terrible that I can't get over my ex boyfriend. I've been out with other people since him but whenever the relationship got serious I broke it off because I can't stop comparing everyone to him. If I tell someone I love them in a relationship I never ever mean it except all those times I told him. I'm not sure if it's because we had a mutual breakup because we were going to be living far apart and we both agreed long distance wasn't going to work, but I can't get over him at all. I talk to him every now and again and every time I'm so happy when we are and when it's over I just feel so sad and empty. I want to tell him all these things but I've always been so horrified he would tell me nothing we had mattered at all. I'd be crushed and I wouldn't know what to do with myself anymore. I have no female friends to talk to about this because I never kept in contact with anyone other than my guy friends because on the scale of friendship, those guys were true and the female "friends" I had were fickle and never came around when I needed them. As for my guy friends... it always seemed so awkward to talk to them about something like this. I've always known it wouldn't work out but my heart and my brain don't seem to care. I don't know how to deal with my feelings anymore. I should probably just ignore him when he texts/calls/messages me, but I feel bad when I do that too because he didn't actually do anything wrong.

Also my jerk neighbor is smoking in the entrance way again. WHY CAN'T YOU SMOKE ON YOUR OWN BALCONY so when I open my front door I don't breathe in your lung cancer pollution?

Doing a art dump of DA makes you quite sleepy! So pooped out!

Stupid CRZ.. rant rant rant rant rant rant... I´ve moved on a high pop server and eventough there are alot of ppl from my OWN realm in the zones there are also ALOT others

was doing quest in blasted lands.... soooo bad. ppl everywhere.. grrr

rant over

You know lady these things happen when you are hitting on people but just because I don't bend that way does not mean you should insult me when I turn you down. Do you do this to everyone who turns you down? You are going to be lonely if you do that I can tell you.

I overslept today... Because my phone thought it would be appropriate to change to Jerusalem time, which is 1h later.

Imagine my wonder when I looked at my computer's clock.

So I was about to go lay down when suddenly my aunt attacks me on facebook, picking at every straw, saying I dont care about my mother or anyone in the family.

Look, I know my mom is 95 lbs. That's nothing new to me. She was that way when I moved out. I can't do anything to help her. I call her when I can(or she calls me). I can't magically make her better. I don't know what the hell she wants from me. This is the second time she's come at me for no fucking reason what so EVER. Even worse, she tries to yell at me for whatever beef she has with my dad. What the hell does that have to do with me? NOTHING! I tell her to leave me out of it and I'm polite but this is the 2nd warning so if she continued, I will block her. Right after she goes off and says she'll block me(she didn't) and that I'm being childish. Excuse me? Goddamnit......

Great. I have a F-ing cold.

I hate colds. I have a weakened immune system, because I had a stupid doctor who put me on the wrong meds, so when I get colds, they hit me hard.
F-ing Colds.

Ugh I think this headache is more than just a hangover that I thought it was yesterday. Never had a hangover last more than a day.

I hate crowded zones. Either I feel bad for snagging something or someone runs up and grabs the herb/item I was clearing to while I'm fighting. Or I save someone and they thank me by running ahead and grabbing everything. RABBLE RABBLE.

Novikova wrote:I hate crowded zones. Either I feel bad for snagging something or someone runs up and grabs the herb/item I was clearing to while I'm fighting. Or I save someone and they thank me by running ahead and grabbing everything. RABBLE RABBLE.

Oh gods, don't worry you aren't alone in that. I absolutely hate feeling like I've stolen someone's herb/ore/kill/etc.

And it really isn't much of a rant, but...

gj blizz, you managed to give me a minor panic attack.

Bikers who ride on the sidewalks and yell at you cause your in the way.. GRRRR

Tårnfalk wrote:Bikers who ride on the sidewalks and yell at you cause your in the way.. GRRRR

Wow, some nerve they got. Worst is that there's probably not much that can be done about it, unless a policeman happens to see them while they do it. :S

Smyelmdar wrote:

Tårnfalk wrote:Bikers who ride on the sidewalks and yell at you cause your in the way.. GRRRR

Wow, some nerve they got. Worst is that there's probably not much that can be done about it, unless a policeman happens to see them while they do it. :S

Well, you could just stick your arm out as they go by...that'd teach em! (joking of course...yes...joking... >.> )

I have seen Christmas stuff out already at work...for the past 2 weeks...really...FFS!!! It wasn't even the end of September! There really needs to be a law about not being able to have holiday stuff out until the next one has ended (ie NO Xmas stuff till Halloween is over!)

My phone is missing. I think my friend left it in the cab we were in. I let him use it to make a call, and I've only just realized it. Hopefully it is in that cab, because the cabbie is a nice guy who I call whenever I need to actually take a cab somewhere. However, I don't have a good feeling about this.

Still crowded. People are being horrible about onyx eggs and daily mobs. It feels like I'm in a zombie movie, Dawn of the Douchecanoe.

I'm not really well-known here, but this seems to be a place to blow some steam, and I just joined a while ago and nobody really knows me, so if you don't want to hear a stranger rant on, just skip on by. I don't really mind. 

I won't say names, so I'll just use the first 2 letters of names.  I've been feeling distant from my GF recently... She seems like she's trying too hard. I hate it. It bugs me so f*cking much. Always with hugs and the slap on my shoulder. God. Really? I just want to scream. And my depression doesn't help at all with this sort of thing. Ce, I've begged you to come back and not leave me here. I'd do anything, I cry when I think about it. Those days were the best. I used to smile, but now I break out in tears. I'm left with hardly any close friends. All I have now is my GF. It's so lonely at times. I hate it. No one here to lead the way, no one for me to depend on. Why am I so alone? Why am I left to silently cry at night, even when mom is right outside my door-less room. Just pull the covers up and cry for a good 30-40 minutes. I hate being talkative, but mom says "Come out of your shell". Well maybe I'm quiet for the better, huh? Maybe I do more then you f*cking think. Just smiling and laughing for you is enough, ISN'T IT?! Yet your complaining I'M selfish? Please, you took the door off my f*ckin room. Why? I don't know. And then I have school. And I'm lazy. My dad often yells at me for beans lazy and 'obsessed with wow' when I want to play it for one weekend. My b*tch mother won't let me, so what do you expect? I'm tired to even go to archery. I hate cars. I hate traveling. I hate it. So much. And then kids in school sometimes come up and say, "Are you and Ar really dating? So you're gay?" NO. JUST SHUT UP. I'm bi, there's a freaking difference. I told myself at my old school "I'll let people know and I won't give a sh*t.". I don't. People I know now know my secret and don't treat me differently. I hate the way I am. I just do. I never wanted to be like this. To like who I like. To hate everything pretty much. I asked mom for s therapist, and my step dad does and I don't? What the Fu-. No. That's all I wanted. I ask for one thing. 

//End Rant//. 
Well, that felt like a huge thing off my chest. All I really wanted was to get that off. A friend would be nice, too...

So angry at myself. Why cannot not do this? Why cannot I not find a job? Well there are some out there that might take me, but as soon as I think of the fact, "I have to work with customers... Which means people." Yes, I'll admit it. I don't know how to handle people. All these jobs mostly want people on the floor. It scares me. This is why I couldn't work customer service. I have too much pride that I'll either snap back at a stupid one or shut down and not know what to do. I dislike public for the same reason. However, if I'm with a friend or something I seem to do better, but I can't get the same job as a friend and work the same shift. Doesn't work like that. I guess I should

Also, I almost felt like I was having a panic attack when my mother tried to get my to practice driving a bit. Frankly, the idea of driving scares me. Maybe it's just one of those things you have to get used to. >>;

One more thing. Why am I finding it hard to write my story? Or find a damn RP. I want to RP so badly, but one of mine RPs is slow starting and I haven't been able to find the courage to RP in GW2 like I could back on WoW. As far as my story goes, I know the plot, I know the characters, I know how I want it to flow... It's just writing it and finding the damn filler between major events that's the problem.

MJGEKWMJGKLSWMGKLaNGkiangbsnhgwswNOSWKINHBKIRHBOLNOBOHBSOMHJBSENIBO

Mmk, done. >.>

Living in student accom isn't as fun as I thought. It's nice living with friends and all, but because I'm the only one that plays WoW, every time I want to play they assume I'm being antisocial. They feel the need to come and bother me ALL THE TIME and sometimes I just want to be left alone for a little while. I don't want to feel antisocial at the same time though, that's the problem. :/

Kids are hard to draw. I mean the proportions are all out of whack compared to a adults.

Cleared out our storage room today, so many dusty dirty boxes full of useless crud! Now I am all sore and tired and I still have dinner to make and a kid to bath, but my arms feel like they are about to fall off, and my nose is so drippy from all the dust!