WoW Petopia Community

This isn't really a rant about anyone/anything I guess..it's kinda like a self-rant if that makes sense?

After being in Puerto Rico having a lot of fun, seeing happy people and really cool things like the haunted fort, a field of HUGE iguanas, etc...I'm sitting here, sorta laughing, and crying, but not at the same time 'cause that would creep myself out ._.

But...I had a weird depressing-ish realization. After seeing two girls, best friends, having fun together, taking selfies, laughing, smiling. Seeing thin but not too thin people, even people that would be a bit far from thin (I really hope that's not offensive, I have no intention of insulting anyone), they wear swimsuits like bikinis and such, and have fun without a care. I realized how lonely and horrible I feel. I mean, I just love the friends I do have to death, but...something happened with one that was uncomfortable, Idon't remember ifI talked about it here, but it's nothing she did, it was just an event that happened...and activities weren't the most appropriate..anyway. But, I don't have a friend that will just, TALK to me, have fun, come with me, even to the beach or on a walk, my friends talk about love interest and all, I don't complain but..still....I just feel more like that one person that sits there and listens..I also crushed my own self-esteem, or what remains of it, but thinking "I'll never be that skinny...they can walk along with no care how they look....why can't I be like that....why am I so damn weak?"

I watched my brother drawing, he's really good...of course I started to think as we rode the plane home. He has so many friends, I believe he's getting a job soon, he was accepted to a college summer program not many kids can get...he just has all this........he has no mental issues oranything, it's like he was made near-perfect.

Me? I still have depression, anxiety, math dyslexia, ADD, all this sh*t...my drawing skills dropped, why did I bother making a DA? I can't possibly make it through public school, let alonecollege or find a job over the summer I can handle, let alone find one that takes 16+...christ..I'm just...there...there's really nothing I can do, that's how I feel...I just feel like a waste, all I CAN do is sew...woopeedeeedoooo.

So, here I am, laughing about how these thoughts randomly appeared..and crying, because of how sh*tty and worthless they make me feel, and how I really am. I feel like I ranted just like this before, but Ireally don't care if I did...I just...I don't know.

This is truly the stupidest rant ever (as are like 90% of my rants, but ranting about the little things always reduces my stress so much).

But, I've been playing this game Dishonored for a while now, long enough to finish the main storyline and continue on to the DLC. And I do the first quest of the first DLC, lots of storyline involved and I was getting really into it, not to mention I'm a collection freak in my games so I had to find every little collectable.

Three hours. Three hours on this mission, which was insanely difficult for me because you actually play as a different character from the main storyline so I had absolutely none of the powerups I had from before and had to actually learn how to play a new character. Still, I made it to pretty much the end of the mission, but I quicksaved at a wrong point and encountered an infuriating bug that keeps on telling me I failed the mission as soon as I reload. Can't go back to a previous point because every save overwrites an earlier one, and the three saves I have all seem to be after the point this bug occured, so after a few minuts I automatically fail. I'm literally at the end of the mission and I can't complete it.

I don't want to do the whole thing over, and yet I have to if I want to continue the game.

Uuuuuuugh.

Every time. Every fucking time. I find a rare in Tanaan but can't get to it immediately for one reason or another. Maybe I got dismounted by mobs or the group I'm with decide to fuck around and do other shit or whatever. Every time there's no one else there except me and anyone I'm grouped with. Yet as soon as I've dealt with the problem a group of Alliance just fucking appears out of fucking nowhere and slaughters everything.

Every.
Fucking.
Time.

Yesterday the pain wasn't as bad.. Today I could barely make it out of bed. My feet hurt, my ankles hurt, my wrists hurt, my elbows hurt and my back hurts.
Still waiting on my blood test results.. But after this morning I fear they're going to give me some pretty bad news.

I just want to die at this point.

UUGGGGGGGGGGGGHH! I HATE YOU STUPID DREANEI.

I'm trying to solo the Anaara girl, she drops the vial to make a fel wolf tameable. She can stealth her stupid a$$, one-shot my fully healed tanking worm, and then one shot me. I HATE THIS STUPID PIECE OF CRAP. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING IT SAYS TO DO. UUGHHHHHHHH

I helped this girl get it but, not that I blame her, but she won't even offer to so much as help me get a group going. She was a horde, too..come on, I have wasted so much time trying! Not even a little help? Seriously..? ._.

AFTER SO MANY TRIES. I GOT HER. And now I have a new green wolf <3333 GAHHH <3

Snowy wrote:

Junrei wrote:Snowy, words can't express how much I feel for you right now. Have faith, you love each other, yes? You'll work it out somehow. That's how it works. Sometimes life hits those big bumps and you just gotta trudge through em, for better or worse.

I adore him more than words can say and I wish I'd tell him that more.

And yes Dew, we have considered counselling but here it can get very money-grabbing and expensive, we can't afford to. :/

I haven't said anything yet cause honestly I don't know what to say to make this better. Just that if you really love each other then you can get through anything. I survived being apart for 70% of the year from my other half for 3 years even though I thought i'd die the first week he went but I'm still here and so is our relationship Sometimes these things can make us stronger as a couple and I hope this is the outcome for you.

So tuesday last week I had this stupid accident with the horse and me falling down. I don't mind all the bruises where he touched me when jumping over me, but yesterday the doc gave me the reason why my ankle is still swollen: torn ligament. Yay, so much for our search for an own horse in the next 3 weeks where we are on holidays. I can't walk, I can't ride, I cannot even sit too long because it hurts.

Okay so mum was watching some show called "Tigers around the house" (or something around those lines) about some guy from Australia Zoo looking after two Sumatran tiger cubs. That's all fine and dandy what makes me upset is that they constantly say "We are the only zoo in Australasia that has Sumatran tigers" Um what? Like excuse me? Are we chopped liver? Auckland Zoo has Sumatran tigers and we have bred them! Hamilton Zoo and Wellington Zoo have them too!

Just because you are the Croc Hunters Zoo does not mean you can make shit up. He'd be ashamed of you. I've been to your zoo (Both before and after his death) and it's not that great.

Feeling really irritable today...

I'd very much love it if my BF can take our daughter downtown for the Canada Day activities, so I can stay home, relax a bit and maybe try a few things to get the ball rolling with this baby, lol. My "due" date was yesterday.
Not that I am at the point of "get this thing outa me grrrr" but...I would very much like to be able to sleep on something other than my side...my shoulders hurt.

And I also really want to go downtown, I want to see the festivities and go to the farmer's market, but at the same time I really don't want to be downtown surrounded by people if my water breaks, lol.

I finally managed a valkyr pet, clockwork gnome, some of the basics you'd 'need' for the Celestial Tournament.

I STILL CAN'T WIN.

SO, I look at the Wowhead guide. Oh yeah, I totally leveled up the darkmoon rabbit, marmots, mr wiggles, and a frickin' snail, let me just whip them out of my ass. Seriously Blizz?

Why can't we just get sent to defeat Tommy Newcomer, the Pandaren Spirits that are all around, THEN the four beasts? That would be so much EASIER. SERIOUSLY. *Bangs head on table*

......I'm too stupid to RP with, okay. I'm sorry, BOYFRIEND, that Lulaya talks how she does, in third person. It's how I wanted it, and how she will talk. The fact that you won't talk to me, and I had to find out through another friend makes it worse. Your other friend doesn't care, either. I bet you aren't guilty, or whatever. Probably laughing, and doing this with more 'mature Roleplayers'. Screw you. Out of all people, I had been worried sick when you were taken to a group home. Now?I wish you were still there, you damn bastard. I hate you, I hate Moon Guard jerks like you, I hope karma gets you, and I hope you lose your stupid account, your precious worgen, and your hard-worked 'battlegear'.


I swear though, I don't mean the hating Moon Guard people, I'm just so hurt, angry, and sad..I'm Sorry.

I think I should go.

First off it's been too fucking hot today. Couple to that I needed to go sign on at the job centre today, which involves walking for about an hour with a 10 minute train ride in the middle. In this heat. And the building didn't have AC.

Second, the trains were all askew because the heat made the overhead cables sag. My usual platform was cordoned off so they could fix it and I had to wait an extra 10 minutes for the train... which went straight through without stopping because the driver didn't know he was meant to stop at a different station. Add another half hour waiting for a train.

And now we had a random power cut. Good-bye 5 hours of work.

WHY WON'T ANYTHING GO RIGHT FOR ME LATELY. *Curls into a ball and sobs.*

Feeling lonely. It's late, there's thunder and lightning, I'm scared of it. All I want to do is snuggle in beside you.

But I know that will probably never happen again.

NoraNora wrote:......I'm too stupid to RP with, okay. I'm sorry, BOYFRIEND, that Lulaya talks how she does, in third person. It's how I wanted it, and how she will talk. The fact that you won't talk to me, and I had to find out through another friend makes it worse. Your other friend doesn't care, either. I bet you aren't guilty, or whatever. Probably laughing, and doing this with more 'mature Roleplayers'. Screw you. Out of all people, I had been worried sick when you were taken to a group home. Now?I wish you were still there, you damn bastard. I hate you, I hate Moon Guard jerks like you, I hope karma gets you, and I hope you lose your stupid account, your precious worgen, and your hard-worked 'battlegear'.


I swear though, I don't mean the hating Moon Guard people, I'm just so hurt, angry, and sad..I'm Sorry.

I think I should go.

I think talking like that is cute. Gives a unique flare and you probably have a reason behind her doing what she does. Screw him. Honestly, he's beginning to sound like he's not worth your time to me.

Junrei wrote:

NoraNora wrote:......I'm too stupid to RP with, okay. I'm sorry, BOYFRIEND, that Lulaya talks how she does, in third person. It's how I wanted it, and how she will talk. The fact that you won't talk to me, and I had to find out through another friend makes it worse. Your other friend doesn't care, either. I bet you aren't guilty, or whatever. Probably laughing, and doing this with more 'mature Roleplayers'. Screw you. Out of all people, I had been worried sick when you were taken to a group home. Now?I wish you were still there, you damn bastard. I hate you, I hate Moon Guard jerks like you, I hope karma gets you, and I hope you lose your stupid account, your precious worgen, and your hard-worked 'battlegear'.


I swear though, I don't mean the hating Moon Guard people, I'm just so hurt, angry, and sad..I'm Sorry.

I think I should go.

I think talking like that is cute. Gives a unique flare and you probably have a reason behind her doing what she does. Screw him. Honestly, he's beginning to sound like he's not worth your time to me.

It got worse. Way. Worse. I'm so done. After that, when I'm sad I talk to my friends. I shouldn't have said his name. People, I don't know who, are attacking him. His 'rep is ruined', and a friend I held so near and dear wanted out of the way, so she deleted me on everything possible.

I didn't want to lose her. I didn't want to find out and lose him this way. I didn't want this to happen. Why..Why is this happening? I didn't do anything wrong..I don't think..I don't know..she hates me. I know she does. She was practically my everything on there, I miss her too much. I'm crying over people online, Christ I'm so freaking weak.

I really just want to vanish now, can I go now? Please? I think I've suffered enough.

NoraNora wrote:

Junrei wrote:

NoraNora wrote:......I'm too stupid to RP with, okay. I'm sorry, BOYFRIEND, that Lulaya talks how she does, in third person. It's how I wanted it, and how she will talk. The fact that you won't talk to me, and I had to find out through another friend makes it worse. Your other friend doesn't care, either. I bet you aren't guilty, or whatever. Probably laughing, and doing this with more 'mature Roleplayers'. Screw you. Out of all people, I had been worried sick when you were taken to a group home. Now?I wish you were still there, you damn bastard. I hate you, I hate Moon Guard jerks like you, I hope karma gets you, and I hope you lose your stupid account, your precious worgen, and your hard-worked 'battlegear'.


I swear though, I don't mean the hating Moon Guard people, I'm just so hurt, angry, and sad..I'm Sorry.

I think I should go.

I think talking like that is cute. Gives a unique flare and you probably have a reason behind her doing what she does. Screw him. Honestly, he's beginning to sound like he's not worth your time to me.

It got worse. Way. Worse. I'm so done. After that, when I'm sad I talk to my friends. I shouldn't have said his name. People, I don't know who, are attacking him. His 'rep is ruined', and a friend I held so near and dear wanted out of the way, so she deleted me on everything possible.

I didn't want to lose her. I didn't want to find out and lose him this way. I didn't want this to happen. Why..Why is this happening? I didn't do anything wrong..I don't think..I don't know..she hates me. I know she does. She was practically my everything on there, I miss her too much. I'm crying over people online, Christ I'm so freaking weak.

I really just want to vanish now, can I go now? Please? I think I've suffered enough.

Well it wasn't their place to attack him, but I also don't blame them either. Rep? He doesn't have one. He's on Moon Guard of all places. Too large of a server to have a rep unless you're someone like Rigsby or Nljay that are trolls or elitists.

Mmm...sounds like she wasn't a real friend, imho. If she was, she wouldn't have done this.

Why don't you take a break to get your head on straight, okay? You're hurting yourself by going back when you're so stressed like this.

[/quote]
Well it wasn't their place to attack him, but I also don't blame them either. Rep? He doesn't have one. He's on Moon Guard of all places. Too large of a server to have a rep unless you're someone like Rigsby or Nljay that are trolls or elitists.

Mmm...sounds like she wasn't a real friend, imho. If she was, she wouldn't have done this.

Why don't you take a break to get your head on straight, okay? You're hurting yourself by going back when you're so stressed like this.[/quote]
She was a real friend...at least to me. She told me she didn't want to be involved...but she never really was. I only let my sadness out to her and she listened. I agree though...I don't know why she did it. She didn't have to delete me from everything, cutting off any contact. She could have laid low..she doesn't realize how hurt I am..I'm still crying, damn it. I have literaly fallen into such a depression because of these people. But dammit, I can't help my damn trust issues. I trust these people to easily..I might just play my Elf on Blood Furnace for a while..I don't know..I just..I just want her back, talking to me..

I screwed up so badly.

Nora, listen to me. You didn't do anything wrong. SHE is in the wrong, imho. She didn't have to be involved. She didn't have to do anything, but she chose to turn on you from what I'm seeing. I know how this feels. Really, I do. I've been there, done that. It sucks.

Junrei wrote:Nora, listen to me. You didn't do anything wrong. SHE is in the wrong, imho. She didn't have to be involved. She didn't have to do anything, but she chose to turn on you from what I'm seeing. I know how this feels. Really, I do. I've been there, done that. It sucks.

But...I just...I..I don't know anymore.....

If you don't mind, for the sake of the entire story, if you'd like..I'll probably end up PMing or typing this disgusting event here..

abit of a first world issue but being so bored at work on payday that you spend a stupid amount of money on online shopping....i might need to start leaving my credit card at home from now on....but that doesn't stop paypal I guess gah! (on the plus side presents in the mail weee!)