the loss of my best friend.....sad and LONG
Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 4:22 pm
Warning: LONG read.
I don't normally post often, and when I do, it's not much, but today I felt I needed to share this story...
It was March 2002, my boyfriend at the time (now ex) and I were driving around, when he noticed a “free kittens” sign at one of our friends' houses. I had just lost my first cat to old age a few months prior (at the ripe old age of 19
) and wanted to get another cat at some point. We stopped by. There were 2 kittens left, a long haired female, and a short haired male. I held the female first, and while she was cute...there was just something missing. I then held the male, already named Shadow. He looked straight into my eyes, meowed, then put his paw up and hit me in the cheek. Ok, this was my cat, no doubt about it. I brought him home.
He definitely lived up to his name, following me around, whining when I would leave the house, and waiting for me by the door. As soon as I would get home, he would start climbing up my leg to make me pick him up and hold him. He slept on my bed almost nightly, and usually slept on my back.
He was a curious little troublemaker, once getting into my glow in the dark hair gel....amusing to see a glowing spiky cat...not so fun to try to clean said cat off...
Eventually I moved out of my parents' house, and couldn't take Shadow with me at first (landlord issues). While I was clearing that stuff up (took about a month or 2), he managed to get outside, and no one could find him...As soon as I was able to, I went back to my parents' house, and started looking for him myself. I found him sitting in the driver's seat of my old car in the garage. As soon as he heard my voice, he poked his head out the window, jumped out and ran straight for me, climbing his way up into my arms. I brought him to his new home. He wasn't sure about living with 2 other cats (one was Mike's, and the other our roommate’s), but eventually he figured out that they weren't threats, and relaxed the daily dive bombings.
We moved again in 2006, he began getting a bit lethargic and cranky. Later, I noticed a lump developing behind his left ear. We took him to the vet, and it was discovered to be cancerous. We had the tumor removed, but they weren't sure if they got all of it. He was like his old self again. Running around, jumping, playing with everything he could..it was great.
We were referred to a specialist, who gave us a few options: 1) chemo and treatment, which might possibly extend his life for 2 years, but he would be sick for the entire time 2) let him go, and if another tumor grows, get it removed, but he might only live another 6 months 3) let him live his life, and if he gets to be in too much pain.....
Well, we decided against chemo, even if it would extend his life, simply because...he would be so sick. I didn't want to put my boy through that. The tumor did begin to grow again, and at a consult, we discovered that if he had it removed, there was a 99% chance his face would be paralyzed. We didn't want to put him through that, either.
We decided on the third option. Simply let him live his life. The tumor grew, and it would annoy him and get in his way. He'd scratch at it, and end up nicking it, which would make it bleed. We had blood spatter all over the house, and were cleaning the house and him constantly, but, I'd rather deal with that than the alternatives, even though the last time we washed him, he bit me and I ended up in the hospital with an infection.... >.>
He was still lethargic and obviously annoyed at this tumor, but would still climb up on top of me and sit on my shoulder as I typed, come see me when I came home from work.
Last night, he was doing his normal bit of sitting on my shoulders, and I heard him whine like he was in pain, I checked everything I could, and he kept trying to bat the tumor back, and wincing as he did. I knew it was getting close to that time. Mike and I made the decision that today would probably be the day....
I woke up to him sitting next to me and crying, still trying to move the tumor, and wincing in pain. I held him. He squirmed away, and walked to the cat carrier that was still sitting in the kitchen from the last vet appointment. He sat inside it, and pawed the door shut. He knew it was his time. Mike made a few phone calls, we got dressed and went. One of the hardest things I ever had to do was get out of the jeep and walk in there. I held him for the last time, and he batted my cheek and headbutted my forehead. I let him go, and cried. A lot.
He lived FAR longer than anyone had expected, almost 4 years since they said he would live another 6 months without chemo. I still think it was too short for him, my best friend. My Shadow.
I don't normally post often, and when I do, it's not much, but today I felt I needed to share this story...
It was March 2002, my boyfriend at the time (now ex) and I were driving around, when he noticed a “free kittens” sign at one of our friends' houses. I had just lost my first cat to old age a few months prior (at the ripe old age of 19
) and wanted to get another cat at some point. We stopped by. There were 2 kittens left, a long haired female, and a short haired male. I held the female first, and while she was cute...there was just something missing. I then held the male, already named Shadow. He looked straight into my eyes, meowed, then put his paw up and hit me in the cheek. Ok, this was my cat, no doubt about it. I brought him home.He definitely lived up to his name, following me around, whining when I would leave the house, and waiting for me by the door. As soon as I would get home, he would start climbing up my leg to make me pick him up and hold him. He slept on my bed almost nightly, and usually slept on my back.
He was a curious little troublemaker, once getting into my glow in the dark hair gel....amusing to see a glowing spiky cat...not so fun to try to clean said cat off...
Eventually I moved out of my parents' house, and couldn't take Shadow with me at first (landlord issues). While I was clearing that stuff up (took about a month or 2), he managed to get outside, and no one could find him...As soon as I was able to, I went back to my parents' house, and started looking for him myself. I found him sitting in the driver's seat of my old car in the garage. As soon as he heard my voice, he poked his head out the window, jumped out and ran straight for me, climbing his way up into my arms. I brought him to his new home. He wasn't sure about living with 2 other cats (one was Mike's, and the other our roommate’s), but eventually he figured out that they weren't threats, and relaxed the daily dive bombings.
We moved again in 2006, he began getting a bit lethargic and cranky. Later, I noticed a lump developing behind his left ear. We took him to the vet, and it was discovered to be cancerous. We had the tumor removed, but they weren't sure if they got all of it. He was like his old self again. Running around, jumping, playing with everything he could..it was great.
We were referred to a specialist, who gave us a few options: 1) chemo and treatment, which might possibly extend his life for 2 years, but he would be sick for the entire time 2) let him go, and if another tumor grows, get it removed, but he might only live another 6 months 3) let him live his life, and if he gets to be in too much pain.....
Well, we decided against chemo, even if it would extend his life, simply because...he would be so sick. I didn't want to put my boy through that. The tumor did begin to grow again, and at a consult, we discovered that if he had it removed, there was a 99% chance his face would be paralyzed. We didn't want to put him through that, either.
We decided on the third option. Simply let him live his life. The tumor grew, and it would annoy him and get in his way. He'd scratch at it, and end up nicking it, which would make it bleed. We had blood spatter all over the house, and were cleaning the house and him constantly, but, I'd rather deal with that than the alternatives, even though the last time we washed him, he bit me and I ended up in the hospital with an infection.... >.>
He was still lethargic and obviously annoyed at this tumor, but would still climb up on top of me and sit on my shoulder as I typed, come see me when I came home from work.
Last night, he was doing his normal bit of sitting on my shoulders, and I heard him whine like he was in pain, I checked everything I could, and he kept trying to bat the tumor back, and wincing as he did. I knew it was getting close to that time. Mike and I made the decision that today would probably be the day....
I woke up to him sitting next to me and crying, still trying to move the tumor, and wincing in pain. I held him. He squirmed away, and walked to the cat carrier that was still sitting in the kitchen from the last vet appointment. He sat inside it, and pawed the door shut. He knew it was his time. Mike made a few phone calls, we got dressed and went. One of the hardest things I ever had to do was get out of the jeep and walk in there. I held him for the last time, and he batted my cheek and headbutted my forehead. I let him go, and cried. A lot.
He lived FAR longer than anyone had expected, almost 4 years since they said he would live another 6 months without chemo. I still think it was too short for him, my best friend. My Shadow.
*hugs tight*