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Friend linked this to me today: Alex Reads Twilight

This. Is. WIN. Srsly. One chapter in, and my ribs already hurt from laughing so hard. Plus his expressions are so animated, it is awesome. I have ranted about Twilight for a good year and a half now, and about how badly it is written and how generic/fanficy the plot is, but honestly this guy sums it up far better than I ever could in a million years.

Plus, everything is better with British accents. *hugs anyone with said accent on the board*

~VelkynKarma

...AWESOME. 8D I'm like you, I've ranted about Twilight before on how I believe it was badly written, but this guy...

So funny. XD

I actually enjoyed reading the book, but not in the way I was intended to. I laughed at it, on several occasions. It's like they used a synonym finder for the descriptions. And he had synonym 1, synonym 2, with synonym 3. Awesome...

Also, Bella is a quite dislikeable individual. She moves to a town that's done nothing wrong, and hates it even before she moves there. Then people try to be nice, and she blows them off, and so forth. Awesome.

Yeah I've read the whole series too, just to know what the big deal was, and just...ugh. It was just not good. NOT. GOOD.

It was either extreme thesaurus abuse, or not enough, and she'd repeat the same word two or three times in a sentence. Or use only the same descriptions repeatedly. I mean, I picked up on the fact that Edward is chiseled and like an Adonis the first fifty times you mentioned it Meyer, thanks. For the record, d'you even know who Adonis is?

So this guy gets SO many points for mocking it. Haha.

~VelkynKarma

Saturo wrote:I actually enjoyed reading the book, but not in the way I was intended to. I laughed at it, on several occasions. It's like they used a synonym finder for the descriptions. And he had synonym 1, synonym 2, with synonym 3. Awesome...

Also, Bella is a quite dislikeable individual. She moves to a town that's done nothing wrong, and hates it even before she moves there. Then people try to be nice, and she blows them off, and so forth. Awesome.

She hates mostly cause she's from sunny Phoenix and pretty much hates cold weather. x:
You aren't the only one who hates Bella. Stupid Mary Sue.
Actually, the only reason I like the books is the funny situations. Like Jacob and Rosalie's bickering in the last book.

Hrm... Ooooor this:

THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST
The Buffy poster behind him just makes it all so much better. ;u; I've read the books, went "Ehh." Not the most fantastic read, but not terrible. However, the more I thought about it... just... argggghhhhh!
I seriously wonder why the author decided to make her vampires sparkle, and smell like flowers and kittens. I'm sorry Edward... but those simply aren't manly attributes.

What I find funny? That Smeyers thinks that deserts are Hot and only hot. I live in texas. Yes it's hot in the summer and it's hot when it shouldn't be hot. But you know what happens when it's not hot?

ITS COLD.

VERY COLD.

Freeze ur buns off cold.

It gets down to the 30/40s sometimes. Sometimes lower. Just because we only got snow one time and that was a while ago, doesn't mean deserts don't get cold.

But what I hate the most was her portrayal of 'Werewolves' and then calling them 'Shapeshifters' and finally 'Skin Walkers' and just, go look up Skin Walkers.

They aren't cuddly near pedophilic creatures Smeyers made >_<

Ryai wrote:go look up Skin Walkers.

Don't make me do that again. Ever.
/shudder

Saturo wrote:

Ryai wrote:go look up Skin Walkers.

Don't make me do that again. Ever.
/shudder

if you got the right ones; SEE NOT SO CUDDLY NOW ARE THEY

>_>

I am afraid to look it up now X_X

~VelkynKarma

VelkynKarma wrote:I am afraid to look it up now X_X

~VelkynKarma

Well the basic gist of a skin walker is they're usually malevolent creatures/spirit things, that masqurade as men. Lore changes understandably from legend to legend, but they are far from 'vampire hating/human protect/psychotic-psychic-empathic-whatever the hell' creatures Smeyers put down.

Even shape-changers are a dangerous sort as I think most of them are along the lines of Coyote who was/is a trickster and such sorts.

Meyer basically failed because A: she didn't research like even I do for my Wowcrackfics, and B: she did a lazy attempt at fixing this but resulted in her killing lore, legends and just about everything in general concerning mythical creatures because she dreamed up a sparkly boy.

>_>

*wiping tears from her eyes out of laughter*

Oh my god...thank you so much for sharing that, it's officially gone on my favourites and watch list. Absolutely brilliant, I can't wait for the continued videos.

Ryai wrote: Meyer basically failed because A: she didn't research like even I do for my Wowcrackfics, and B: she did a lazy attempt at fixing this but resulted in her killing lore, legends and just about everything in general concerning mythical creatures because she dreamed up a sparkly boy.

>_>

I totally agree on that. I was only moderately critical of the whole Twilight thing until I learned that the Quileute tribe that plays so prominent a role in the series was a complete theft and subsequent ignorant massacre of an actual existing tribe. As in, she picked the Quileute tribe name because "they live in that area," but completely disregarded their ACTUAL lore and traditions in order to make up her own crap...which she then twisted and messed up in her own story. That? You just don't DO that. If you desperately need a Native American tribe to fit the bill, and none fit, do some research and make up a tribe. Don't turn an existing culture and tradition into a messed up farce just because you're ignorant and egotistical. RGH.

Vephriel wrote:*wiping tears from her eyes out of laughter*

Oh my god...thank you so much for sharing that, it's officially gone on my favourites and watch list. Absolutely brilliant, I can't wait for the continued videos.

Oh no prob, no prob. I myself will be keeping an eye on this guy, he totally made my day

~VelkynKarma

Gah. Twilight. I read the series because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Needless to say, I was horrified what was being shoveled out. Fail. That's all I can say.

An amazing comic I found on Deviant Art:



I laughed for hours. Can be found here.

I know that comic. That third panel always kills me. XD

xD

Loved it!

WOW. Just WOW. Awesome comic XD

~VelkynKarma

I consider myself a reader and I do read vampire fiction. I have read some very good authors who work in this genre.

I cannot read Twilight.

Cannot bring myself to touch it. Not with Kevlar gloves or wearing a hazmat suit. My brain says not to, it would hurt us horribly. My gut agrees with my brain. I trust them both.

I may have to listen to this fellow mock it though. Because, really, the book needs to be mocked. The movies require this too. We need the guys from Mystery Science Theater 3000 to be down there, making fun of it, cause that it what they do. And there's a ton of material there for them.

Ryai wrote:What I find funny? That Smeyers thinks that deserts are Hot and only hot. I live in texas. Yes it's hot in the summer and it's hot when it shouldn't be hot. But you know what happens when it's not hot?

ITS COLD.

VERY COLD.

Freeze ur buns off cold.

It gets down to the 30/40s sometimes. Sometimes lower. Just because we only got snow one time and that was a while ago, doesn't mean deserts don't get cold.

But what I hate the most was her portrayal of 'Werewolves' and then calling them 'Shapeshifters' and finally 'Skin Walkers' and just, go look up Skin Walkers.

They aren't cuddly near pedophilic creatures Smeyers made >_<

really though skin walkers aren't that creepy compared to some other monsters i heard of * flying heads with lungs hearts and spines hanging down for a body*