WoW Petopia Community

I try to not bring my personal life to much on to the net, but I need to let off some steam here before I go crazy. I removed all names but mine because, I don't care if anyone knows my first name really. I replaced the names with the first letter of there first name to comply with name shame rule. I think, factoring in that she is my ex and that we don't have a very pleasant history with each other that, I'm being fairly reasonable with her so far.

So long story short, my buddy who I live with had his GF break up with him. She also lived her with us and so as a result she moved out. Now because my buddy is a computer recyler we had to be picky to who we let move in. It was decided because he was still good friends with my ex as he knew her before I met her and so on. So I was not overly crazy about it, however I didn't want to pay 1/3 more rent either. He insisted that she had changed. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt. So we had some minor issues with her but nothing I couldn't handle. She brought with her 3 cats so bring the number of cats in the house to 4. So that's fine, after awhile she got lazy and would only change the litter when asked basically. The litter was full and just smelled something awful really. The first 2 times I got fed up because she let it go so long even after promising to clean it. So she wasn't home, I took the litter scope and taped it to her door. She didn't like that and complained about it.

So the 3rd time I sent her a email asking her to clean it.

Rather then waste paper, I’m emailing you. Can you please change that litter. It’s starting to smell something awful and I can smell it soon as I go to the kitchen. I did say I would change it on Saturday, however that was under the assumption it would be change more often and not have the overwhelming smell of cat piss. Maybe you have changed it during the week, I don’t know to be honest. I do know that right now, the only way to get rid of the smell is to change it.

Thanks

Her reply to that email:

Hi John,

Weird that we have to keep emailing eachother even when we live in the same house, eh? I guess thats what weird sleeping patterns causes.

Anyways, D told me when I moved in, that it was your job to clean the bathroom once a week? Well I couldn't help but notice that it hasn't been cleaned since I moved in and I was hoping you could clean it. Also I noticed a funny smell when I was in there and turns out it is the rug that is in there, smells like a dirty towel, which means it has been getting wet and since you are the only one in the house that doesn't dry themself in the bathtub before they get out (D requested I do that, but I was already in the habit of doing it before I moved in) I think you should find a way to clean it or replace it so the bathroom doesn't smell funny anymore.

Thanks,

M

My final reply to her which she has yet to reply to. I'm fairly certain she has read it by now.

Now your just trying to start shit, If the washroom had not been cleaned in almost a month, not only would be just nasty, but D would of said something to me. I email you as most of the time I try to minimize any contact with you and your door was closed, so there was no need to waste paper for nothing. One of the reasons I removed you from real ID. I never really talk to you and I didn’t see the need to have you on it. I don’t know why you even added me to begin with. I’m amazed you can smell anything up there with the stench of cigarette smoke up there. Besides, who are you to judge how I clean the washroom when you let the litter box get to the stage it so often does ? I think you should worry about cleaning up after yourself before accusing me of not cleaning the washroom. Unless your referring to the one downstairs, which I will go clean so it’s all nice a perfect for you.

D'aw Adam :c
I feel sorry for you this friend isn't much of a friend for letting her stay in the first place >.> But I think thats just me :s Anyways she should clean the litter box since its mainly coming from HER cats I am aware you have one to but if you could train yours to use its own and keep it away from the other 3 it may snap her into some form of common sence or maybe the smell will
I think it would be best if you either have a house meeting about it ... Like about all the house matters, maybe you didn't end on great terms but she should get the stick out of her ass and grow up she doesn't like the smell do something about it. For a bathroom floor mat to smell of just water would take awhile how do I know? I lived with the most horrible people you can think off you think a unclean litter box is bad image a whole house :c The fact half of them couldn't use the shower correctly the ones that did never dried off in the bath that mat was soaked about 4 times a day and it took about ... 10+ months before it started to have a hint of any smell to it ... Daft idiot -.- Then again she doesn't sound like the brightest crayon in the box ¬.¬
I honestly feel sorry for the cats :c If you didn't have one I would suggest maybe calling animal services and have them took off her since it seems she can't look after them ... Poor things :c I hope they don't get sick!

And she was just trying to get a fight out of you with her reply as you were talking about the litter box just needing a clean out ... I had a cat until I moved out and we cleaned it DAILY even if you have to swap days with her on cleaning it with her say odd days you do it even day she does it?

I know she should be the one to clean it most of the time, but this is one of those situations where it's more important for the chore to be done regularly than for the right person to be doing it. However bad it smells to you, imagine how much worse it is for the cats. As your cat uses the box sometimes, it is your responsibility in part.

Well turns out the mat in question did smell, however it's not because of being damp. One of the cats in the house pissed on it, the smell was just awful really. I don't blame the cats really, probably didn't like the smell of there litter. I would love nothing more then for her to move out, however I simply can't afford 1/3 more in rent right now. Well I could if I was forced to, but I would have little to nothing for spending money after paying my credit card, cell phone and feeding myself.

Also do be aware that no cat will put up with unclean litter forever - even the most patient cat will start to have "accidents", and once that starts it can be extremely difficult to reverse even if the litter boxes are sparkling clean.

If I am reading this correctly you have 1 litter box for 4 cats? If that is correct, that is a problem in itself - veterinarians recommend (# cats) + 1.

Get a box for your apartment, and clean it yourself - that way you are being a good cat owner, and just as importantly no one can claim you aren't doing your part. If your ex's cats then start spreading their mess outside the upstairs box, it will then be very clear who is in the wrong...

EDIT: looks like the "migrations" have already started...

I have a litter box in basement which pretty much only my cat uses. She sometimes goes upstairs and uses that one, but with it smelling like it does I can't be certain if she is still using that one or the one in the basement.

Ok. Well as long as you're at least cleaning the one in the basement, that's something (you're cleaning 50% of the cat boxes even though you own only 25% of the cats...)

Your ex sounds like a slob.

Kick her out, rarely do ex's evolve into friends after the fact. It seems she is doing a great job of take the *biscuit*. The hassle isn't worth it!

Regardless of how well you can handle the past and her being ariund, her behavior is really nothing but a constant reminder of why she is an ex. Life is too short for that, 17% extra rent is worth a little peace. Good luck.

SgtMakkie wrote:Kick her out, rarely do ex's evolve into friends after the fact. It seems she is doing a great job of take the *biscuit*. The hassle isn't worth it!

Regardless of how well you can handle the past and her being ariund, her behavior is really nothing but a constant reminder of why she is an ex. Life is too short for that, 17% extra rent is worth a little peace. Good luck.

I may be able to tough it out paying 1/3 more rent,gas,cable,net for awile, but I'm pretty sure my buddy can't. Besides, I'm not the only one on the lease. It would take both of us to remove her. He has done alot for me in the past, but when it comes to her he lets her get away so much. The kicker is he complains about stuff she does to me when she isn't around. Doesn't say a word when she is. I finally got a email back from her. She loves to spin the blame around on anyone but herself and while lying about stuff to. Her cleaning the litter box every other day is outright lie. I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure she hasn't been. I've already downloaded application for city housing in hope I will get something eventually. The waiting list can be years long is the downside..

I finally did get a email back from her. It's funny how she is trying to blame me. I didn't know asking someone to change the litter box because it smelled, was considered picking on someone..

I'm not trying to start shit. And I clean the litter box every other day; so if you are going to be bitching at me for stuff, then I will do the same to you. Point is, don't pick at people if you yourself are not doing things perfectly.

Yep i'm a prick because I expect you to use you freaking eyes and move the fuck away from the sparky black thing that you have 10 seconds to fucking move away from....

Kurenio wrote:Yep i'm a prick because I expect you to use you freaking eyes and move the fuck away from the sparky black thing that you have 10 seconds to fucking move away from....

I don't get it ?

wrong thread but ya >.<

Apparently I'm a prick and an elitist for expecting people to use their eyes in a raid...

well I suppose you could say don't stand in the fire is like don't invite the ex to live with you?!? (sorry bad joke is bad)

So now her and buddy talked and apparently the house duties are going to change..The one who can't even clean up after herself is trying to tell me how to clean. This was my reaction when she tried to tell me about these "change in house duties"..

AdamSavage wrote:So now her and buddy talked and apparently the house duties are going to change..The one who can't even clean up after herself is trying to tell me how to clean. This was my reaction when she tried to tell me about these "change in house duties"..

One thing I've learned about idiots - they are utterly without shame.

Worba wrote:

AdamSavage wrote:So now her and buddy talked and apparently the house duties are going to change..The one who can't even clean up after herself is trying to tell me how to clean. This was my reaction when she tried to tell me about these "change in house duties"..

One thing I've learned about idiots - they are utterly without shame.

Indeed, I'm going through the house and cleaning up every tiny mess that is related to me. The reason for this is, so she cant say oh well you left a mess her or there. Not doing the bathroom perfectly or cutting some corners where it's not that important, is simply not the same as a not changing a litter box. The smell of the Urine is a health hazzard. She has a habit of getting my blood boiling and I get to the point where I'm so frustrated I just want to scream because I don't know what else to do, or even how to release the frustration.

Don't cut corners - as you noted your ex will use those to keep it a "he said / she said" thing, and as long as she can do that, your buddy the "swing vote" will remain in the middle even if the work distribution is 50/100 her and 90/100 you.

But if you can keep your side of the street clean, then before long either A) your ex will also step up and do her chores, and the problem is solved amicably, or B) she'll continue blowing off her chores but will be unable to continue using you as her scapegoat, and your buddy will at least start seeing who is the shirker.

Scenario B obviously isn't preferable but it's better than how things stand at present (or at least that's how it sounds to me).

Well he want's to talk to me about the "change in house duties". I'm going to make it very clear, that if he wants to tell me, then it will only be him and have her keep her nose out if it. She isn't my favorite person right now. It would be unwise for her to try and talk to me about anything at this point, as I will simply flat out ignore her and walk away from her.

"Change" is something that's already decided (by who?); was I you I'd be more comfortable with a "review of house duties"...

Good luck.

Well I'm pretty sure that's what he meant. If he going to make her doing chores, it should be interesting to see. She cant even change the litter, what makes him think she will pull her weight around the house.