"Ode to a Cookbook"
Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 3:26 am
Here's something my mom wrote after she watched an rp event on my server called story time that is hosted every Sunday around 7 central.
Disclaimer: I didn't write this, it just happens to be pretty good and I thought I would share. If you don't get the twist, I'll give you a hint after the poem.
Yes, I know it's in all caps, she wrote it that way.
ODE TO A COOKBOOK
IN A TALE OF A TAUREN BY THE NAME OF BIG BULL
WHO FOUND THAT HIS BELLY WAS EMPTY, NOT FULL
AND HE TRADED HIS STAFF FOR AN ENCHANTED ROD
HOPING HE'D CATCH HIMSELF A DINNER OF COD
NOW THUNDERBLUFF IT HAS BUT A LITTLE MUDPUDDLE
WHERE FISH GROUP TOGETHER AND FEARFULLY HUDDLE
BIG BULL TIED A SHINY BAUBLE AND DROPPED DOWN THE LINE
AND PERUSED A COOKBOOK ON HOW TO COOK FISH IN WINE
THE BOBBER IT DANCED, AND HE GOT HIS FONDEST WISH
BUT BIG BULL JUST REELED IN A GREEN SICKLY FISH
NEXT SOME REEDS, A BOOT, AND OLD TANGLED LINE
HIS STOMACH IT GRUMBLED, AND THAT WAS NOT FINE
UP WALKED SUNBEAM, POINTY-EARED, ELVEN FAIR,
CARINAL RUBIES AND MURLOK SHELLS DRESSED IN HER HAIR
SHE SMILED AT BIG BULL AND WINKED A GREEN EYE
AND OFFERED HIM A DISCUS OF GRACCU'S MEAT PIE
HER BOSOM IT HEAVED AND HER BACK IT WAS ARCHED
THE TAUREN'S MOUTH, LIKE DUROTAR, WAS DRY, IT WAS PARCHED
NOW HE FOUND THAT HE HUNGERED IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE
SO HE DROPPED ROD, COOKBOOK, AND HUNG OUT HIS TONGUE
SHE SCOOPED UP TOSSED COOKBOOK FROM DIRTY POND RUT
AND MOTIONED BIG BULL TO HER ENCHANTED ELF HUT
THE OVEN WAS HOT AND SHE SET OUT SWEET DRINK
THAT UNFORTUNATELY WAS TAINTED BY THE FAIR FINK
ELF HAD READ THE COOKBOOK AS TO HUT THEY DID TRAVEL
WHEN HER PROPOSED GOOD DEED DID FATEFULLY UNRAVEL
FOR FOUND WITH A PICTURE AND LISTED IN CHAPTER TWO
WAS A MOUTH-WATERING RECIPE FOR THICK TAUREN STEW
SO WHEN ABOUT AN HOUR HAD NOW COME TO PASS
A PORTAL WAS OPENED BY THE FAIRLY WICKED LASS
FOR BELVES LOVE COMPANY SO FAIR AND SO FINE
WHEN THEY SIT DOWN TO SWEET DRINK AND TAUREN TO DINE
THE END
HINT: Trolls may not be the only race interested in upright walking cuisine.
Disclaimer: I didn't write this, it just happens to be pretty good and I thought I would share. If you don't get the twist, I'll give you a hint after the poem.
Yes, I know it's in all caps, she wrote it that way.
ODE TO A COOKBOOK
IN A TALE OF A TAUREN BY THE NAME OF BIG BULL
WHO FOUND THAT HIS BELLY WAS EMPTY, NOT FULL
AND HE TRADED HIS STAFF FOR AN ENCHANTED ROD
HOPING HE'D CATCH HIMSELF A DINNER OF COD
NOW THUNDERBLUFF IT HAS BUT A LITTLE MUDPUDDLE
WHERE FISH GROUP TOGETHER AND FEARFULLY HUDDLE
BIG BULL TIED A SHINY BAUBLE AND DROPPED DOWN THE LINE
AND PERUSED A COOKBOOK ON HOW TO COOK FISH IN WINE
THE BOBBER IT DANCED, AND HE GOT HIS FONDEST WISH
BUT BIG BULL JUST REELED IN A GREEN SICKLY FISH
NEXT SOME REEDS, A BOOT, AND OLD TANGLED LINE
HIS STOMACH IT GRUMBLED, AND THAT WAS NOT FINE
UP WALKED SUNBEAM, POINTY-EARED, ELVEN FAIR,
CARINAL RUBIES AND MURLOK SHELLS DRESSED IN HER HAIR
SHE SMILED AT BIG BULL AND WINKED A GREEN EYE
AND OFFERED HIM A DISCUS OF GRACCU'S MEAT PIE
HER BOSOM IT HEAVED AND HER BACK IT WAS ARCHED
THE TAUREN'S MOUTH, LIKE DUROTAR, WAS DRY, IT WAS PARCHED
NOW HE FOUND THAT HE HUNGERED IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE
SO HE DROPPED ROD, COOKBOOK, AND HUNG OUT HIS TONGUE
SHE SCOOPED UP TOSSED COOKBOOK FROM DIRTY POND RUT
AND MOTIONED BIG BULL TO HER ENCHANTED ELF HUT
THE OVEN WAS HOT AND SHE SET OUT SWEET DRINK
THAT UNFORTUNATELY WAS TAINTED BY THE FAIR FINK
ELF HAD READ THE COOKBOOK AS TO HUT THEY DID TRAVEL
WHEN HER PROPOSED GOOD DEED DID FATEFULLY UNRAVEL
FOR FOUND WITH A PICTURE AND LISTED IN CHAPTER TWO
WAS A MOUTH-WATERING RECIPE FOR THICK TAUREN STEW
SO WHEN ABOUT AN HOUR HAD NOW COME TO PASS
A PORTAL WAS OPENED BY THE FAIRLY WICKED LASS
FOR BELVES LOVE COMPANY SO FAIR AND SO FINE
WHEN THEY SIT DOWN TO SWEET DRINK AND TAUREN TO DINE
THE END
HINT: Trolls may not be the only race interested in upright walking cuisine.
