Im tired of dating girls im not attracted to

[Redith]

Yes this has GOT to be the weirdest post on Petopia but I don't know anywhere else I can just blog and maybie get feedback.
I would say 90 percent of my girlfriends in my life I have not been phisicly attracted to. This was due part to my over niceness, of allways looking past the surface, and part due to the fact that I like being with someone. Well im tired of this. Maybie im being slightly an ass but I want to be with a girl im attracted to phisicly. I HATE that I have to lower my standards just so I can have a relationship.
I think alot of my problems stem from the fact that most my girlfriends I met online. I just never developed those sort of social skills to meet girls outside of a dating website. I know im not ugly so I know im not asking alot of wanting to be with a girl of my attractiveness level. And I KNOW there are beautiful girls that share my sort of interests (If the "Show pictures of yourself" thread on here doesnt prove that there are realy beautiful female gamers out there nothing will)
Idk. Maybie I need to take a class or something.

[Lisaara]

Sometimes the physical attraction doesn't happen right away and as you even said...it's the personality that counts, not the body.

[cowmuflage]

Sometimes the physical attraction doesn't happen right away and as you even said...it's the personality that counts, not the body.

I'll disagree with that I think it's 50/50. You will proberly feel better liveing with someone if you like both things and in alot of cases you can have your cake and eat it too it's just a matter of getting out there are trying!

Go to your local pub and talk to som people socal skills are good to have no matter what people on the internet say otherwise!

I can't stand people who say "oh I don't have the socal skills" and yet don't try to improve them. I was shit at them but the more people I talked to the better I got at it. I know it's hard but you have to work on it it wont just ahppen over night.

[Redith]

Sometimes the physical attraction doesn't happen right away and as you even said...it's the personality that counts, not the body.

I'll disagree with that I think it's 50/50. You will proberly feel better liveing with someone if you like both things and in alot of cases you can have your cake and eat it too it's just a matter of getting out there are trying!

Go to your local pub and talk to som people socal skills are good to have no matter what people on the internet say otherwise!

I can't stand people who say "oh I don't have the socal skills" and yet don't try to improve them. I was shit at them but the more people I talked to the better I got at it. I know it's hard but you have to work on it it wont just ahppen over night.

hmm.. I kind of like your advice more. I just wish I knew how to realy start a whole conversation with any girl. I mean I see a girl I think is cute in a bookstore, I have no idea what to say or how to approach her. It just sucks

[Congafury]

Sometimes the physical attraction doesn't happen right away and as you even said...it's the personality that counts, not the body.

I'll disagree with that I think it's 50/50. You will proberly feel better liveing with someone if you like both things and in alot of cases you can have your cake and eat it too it's just a matter of getting out there are trying!

Go to your local pub and talk to som people socal skills are good to have no matter what people on the internet say otherwise!

I can't stand people who say "oh I don't have the socal skills" and yet don't try to improve them. I was shit at them but the more people I talked to the better I got at it. I know it's hard but you have to work on it it wont just ahppen over night.

hmm.. I kind of like your advice more. I just wish I knew how to realy start a whole conversation with any girl. I mean I see a girl I think is cute in a bookstore, I have no idea what to say or how to approach her. It just sucks

Speaking of that, I totally LOVE to watch children! When I go out with my friends that have smallish kids 5 to 8 years old, they all get along so well! They just come up to each other and say "Hi, I'm Sonya! What's your name?" And in 30 seconds they are already playing together. I think the same should work for adults, if the counterpart will find you attractive in some way it's enough to say "Hi", the rest of the conversation will come naturally. If it won't, then better luck next time, just repeat and profit^_^ That's what I do, almost never failed me, I love talking to people:)

[Tufak]

So...I'm regularly told that I have charisma out the ass.

Here's the thing. It's not innate. It's learned behaviour.

A lot of people think that you can't change that sort of thing, but you can. And it starts with confidence.

You say that you're attractive but 'not good at talking to girls'. Fine. That's great. Guess what?

Girls don't give a damn if you're a good talker so much as they do if you're a good listener.

You mentioned a girl in a bookstore? Try this.

Wait for her to pick up a book in a section that you're interested in, walk over then and ask 'Oh, hey, do you recommend that book?' If she answers, press her a little more for information. 'Does the author have any other books you recommend?'. Show that it's a mutual interest. Ask her opinion. If it doesn't go further, then hey, you've got some new books to read. But if there's a mutual attraction, maybe she'll say 'Here, I'll give you my e-mail and we can exchange recommendations later.'...or maybe you can suggest dropping by the little coffee shop that most bookstores seem to have now and talking more.

Don't look shy. Don't look creepy. Don't be cocky. Just be confident, be cool and don't give a damn about rejection. It'll happen. Doesn't mean you'll never find what you're looking for.

[GormanGhaste]

I suggest volunteer work. You'll meet more people, can pick an activity that interests you, and doing something for others will make you seem more appealing.

[Worba]

Yes this has GOT to be the weirdest post on Petopia but I don't know anywhere else I can just blog and maybie get feedback.
I would say 90 percent of my girlfriends in my life I have not been phisicly attracted to. This was due part to my over niceness, of allways looking past the surface, and part due to the fact that I like being with someone. Well im tired of this. Maybie im being slightly an ass but I want to be with a girl im attracted to phisicly. I HATE that I have to lower my standards just so I can have a relationship.
I think alot of my problems stem from the fact that most my girlfriends I met online. I just never developed those sort of social skills to meet girls outside of a dating website. I know im not ugly so I know im not asking alot of wanting to be with a girl of my attractiveness level. And I KNOW there are beautiful girls that share my sort of interests (If the "Show pictures of yourself" thread on here doesnt prove that there are realy beautiful female gamers out there nothing will)
Idk. Maybie I need to take a class or something.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this - you are simply being honest with yourself. It may not be "cool" to admit that physical attraction is a big deal (it's not everything, no, but I'd agree that it's a solid 50/50), but pretending otherwise could set you up for failure later on in a relationship. If you know what you like in a S.O., then that is a good thing - many are still trying to just figure that part out. Now you need to start getting picky - and yes that may well mean more "me time", but that's better than the alternative. If you see someone and don't feel your pulse quicken in the slightest... save yourself (and her) the time and the heartache.

How to meet women? Speaking as one who was never great at smalltalk, I'll commit another faux pas and recommend Match.com, dating services, etc. In the mean time take a look at your life and honestly ask yourself if there's a lot to say about it - it's very easy to let things slide when you're single, but A) having a life gives you that much more to talk about when dating, B) a lot of people are more interested in being with those who already have a life than those who are (even if unconsciously) waiting on a relationship to give it a kick start and C) of course you're only doing yourself a favor by getting out and doing something fun and interesting. As others have said, volunteer work, sports, w/e. BTW none of this may apply to you, just saying (going boar hunting is pretty cool, so if that's the norm for you, you're fine there methinks).

My 0.2 anyway - G/L!

[Aeladrine]

Honestly? I won't even think about dating someone I'm not attracted to. Some may call it shallow, but if I'm not attracted to you, the I'm just not attracted to you! There's nothing either of us can do about it, so you might as well move on with your life and find someone else.

And, on the talking to people thing, I was complete shit at it for the longest time. Then I realized that, as long as I don't allow myself to feel awkward, other people usually don't, either. When the guy I thought was cute passed by, I just said, "Oh, hey, you were in my french class last year!" He ended up giving me his number and asking for mine. We have a date later this week!

Just be confident! That's really all you need, confidence and love in and for yourself.(:

[cowmuflage]

Honestly? I won't even think about dating someone I'm not attracted to. Some may call it shallow, but if I'm not attracted to you, the I'm just not attracted to you! There's nothing either of us can do about it, so you might as well move on with your life and find someone else.

And, on the talking to people thing, I was complete shit at it for the longest time. Then I realized that, as long as I don't allow myself to feel awkward, other people usually don't, either. When the guy I thought was cute passed by, I just said, "Oh, hey, you were in my french class last year!" He ended up giving me his number and asking for mine. We have a date later this week!

Just be confident! That's really all you need, confidence and love in and for yourself.(:

That does not make you shallow! I would not date anyone that I did not find attractvie I don't see the point XD. Talking to people is a skill and like all skills they get better the more you do it!.