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poetic japanese translation of three phrases... please?

Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 1:55 pm
by Sukurachi
I would like to use three phrases in Japanese for the titles of three sections of something I'm working on.
I know that using google-translate is... generally awful.
But I don't have access to any Japanese-speaking people since my dad passed away.
Google's translate function gave me the following:

Dance of the heart: Kokoro no dansu
Dance of the mind (intellect): Chisei no dansu
Dance of the gods: Kamigami no dansu

these MIGHT be "correct", but are they the prettiest way of saying it?
for example, I had to change "dance of the mind" to "dance of intellect", because it was translating both "Mind" and "Heart" as kokoro.

is there a better word for "dance" than the engrish "dansu"?

"odori" seems to mean more of a "traditional dance" (ie: folk dance) than just "to dance" or "a dance" (not the party/event "a dance" but the actual act of dancing).

Re: poetic japanese translation of three phrases... please?

Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 4:28 pm
by Sonata
*delurk mode*

Sadly my japanese dictionary is saying either dansu or odori also.
But I did some digging and found:

舞 (まい) = mai, which means "a dance", this is the simple way of writing dance in chinese. It is pronounced in chinese and mai in japanese, can also mean "to brandish", "to wield" and "to circle" among other things.

Correct me if I'm wrong since my knowledge is pretty limited.
Hope it helps.

Re: poetic japanese translation of three phrases... please?

Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:13 pm
by Sukurachi
thank-you Sonata (kind of funny, because the text in question is for use in a sonata I wrote for doublebass and piano!).

I guess I'll be ok with Kokoro no odori, then. (which "sounds" prettier to my admittedly not entirely accustomed ears).