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R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 10:23 am
by Vephriel
This morning I had to go through one of the hardest things I've ever been through, watching my pet die in front of me.
My cat Dexter had seemed sick for the past couple of days. He was throwing up, and yesterday I could really tell something was wrong. He was lethargic and solitary and not himself at all. I called the vet and had an appointment booked for this afternoon. Around 5am today I woke up to a terrible rasping noise and found him at the foot of the bed, gasping for air. I was helpless, there was nothing I could do but watch. He was choking, and suddenly he let out a heart breaking scream and then was gone.
I'm just devastated, I've been wracked by sobs all morning. I can't stop seeing his poor body lying there spasming as he tried to breathe, and then that horrible sound as he cried out in pain. If I had only realized sooner that something was very wrong maybe it could have been prevented.
It's going to be so hard to get over this. My boyfriend and I adopted him as a kitten from the humane society when we first moved to Alberta together. He was our first pet, and he was very much my baby boy. At night he'd always sneak into the room to curl up beside me in bed and purr. I'm dreading tonight when I realize he won't be there.
I think I had to get this all off my chest somehow, but I'm still just in shock and I don't know what to do. My heart is aching so much and I can't stop crying.
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 10:46 am
by Karathyriel
First of all, you shouldn't reproach yourself.
Animals can't communicate and therefore, we can only guess how bad they feel.
There is nothing you could've done.
Whenever we adopt pets, we should keep in mind that, except parrots and turtles, their life span is so much shorter than ours. We are bound to feel that pain, no matter what and the longer our pet is with us, the harder it is to see them go.
I'm sorry for your loss.
But keep in mind the good times you've had with Dexter.
Think about the wonderful years you gave him.
Think about the wonderful years he gave you.
Don't think about those last minute that you couldn't have prevented.
If in need, give me a shout:
karathyriel@versanet.de 
Rest in peace, Dexter.
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 11:04 am
by Siliverin
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 11:08 am
by Redith
My thoughts are with you. Losing a pet is heartbreaking
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 11:10 am
by Kaleos
I'm so sorry to hear that Veph. *hugs*
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 11:14 am
by Sarayana
Aw Veph.
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 11:38 am
by Sasrei
Veph I am so sorry for your loss! *hugs* He will always be in your heart, and I think he would have rather passed away with you close by then in some vet clinic. Im sure he had an amazing life with you and he will be watching over you in kitty heaven.
(by the way, I just noticed we live in the same city lol. So I can give you RL hugs if you need it
)
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 11:49 am
by Nevar
Aww Veph I'm so so sorry
- I know how hard it is.. In death he has found peace and is always with you and dont forget the times you had with him that were good, those you'll always have.
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:04 pm
by Darkharvest
I'm sorry for your loss.
I know how hard it is to see your pet ill and to watch them pass, I also lost my cat early this year to illness. Don't beat yourself up over not doing something sooner like it was said earlier they cant speak and tell us what is wrong.
"Lives are not measured in time
but in grace, in the joy
with which they are lived,
and in the love they leave behind."
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:11 pm
by Suicune
I'm so sorry Veph... try to hang in there- your post made me cry so I can't even imagine how you feel. You'll never forget your baby, and the pain will always be very real, but it is natural. When I think about my cat Pumpkin I still cry and it's been a number of years, so don't ever be ashamed to cry. They are a family member and it takes long to move forward, but much like any loss, it takes time for the wounds to heal enough to be able to do your normal everyday tasks without breaking down. Just remember he's watching over you, your guardian kitty. Maybe he's met Pumpkin by now. Look up the Rainbow Bridge poem if you haven't read it before- I made a printout of it and placed a picture of my kitty when she was in her happier days on it, as kind of a memorial.
Remember we all love ya Veph and are here for you. Willing to talk whenever you need.
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:41 pm
by rubybeam
veph..this is sad truly I cried I'll admit it and this is truly sad just know that the cat haad a good loving life living with you and that not all cats get a life like that, be happy that you treated it like family and not a just an 'item' for entertainment the cats luckly to have been living with you to the end i'm he's smiling rigt now somewhere else.....
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:53 pm
by Nefretiti
Veph
it made me think of a simple and beautiful poem I found a few years back i dont remember who wrote it but I for some reason always find solace in it.
They say memories are golden, well maybe that is true.
But I never wanted memories I only wanted you.
A million times I needed you,a million times I've cried.
If love alone could save you you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,in death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place that noone could ever fill.
If tears could build a stairway,heartache make a lane
I'd walk the path to heaven and bring you back again.
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 1:48 pm
by Teigan
.
The Rainbow Bridge
inspired by a Norse legend
By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.
For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.
No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.
They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.
For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.
The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.
© 1998 Steve and Diane Bodofsky. All Rights Reserved.
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 2:12 pm
by Tilo
sorry for your loss... fond memories are always treasures.
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 2:17 pm
by zedxrgal
God speed little Dexter! RIP. Prayers to you and your boyfriend Veph. Truly sorry and heartbroken with you over your loss. Hugs and love to you both.
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 2:23 pm
by Siliverin
Teigan wrote:Oh, Veph
I'm so sorry.
It hurts enough without tearing yourself apart. It wasn't your fault. You knew he needed to go to the vet and you were taking him there. You had no way to know he was that sick.
You took care of him, loved him and gave him a good life. That is what counts. His life is what counts.
I feel for you. I'm actually crying over it.
When we lost one of ours, our vet sent us this poem.
The Rainbow Bridge
inspired by a Norse legend
By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.
For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.
No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.
They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.
For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.
The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.
© 1998 Steve and Diane Bodofsky. All Rights Reserved.
i cried
but im sure he is waiting for you veph
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 2:27 pm
by Sochi
Losing a pet is never an easy experience and my heart weeps for you. Yet as others who have posted before me have said, a loved one is never really gone. They live on in spirit, watching us always. Veph, you and your guy have my condolences over your loss. Hugs of comfort to you both.
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 2:48 pm
by kamoodle5
I am so sorry your beloved kitty died today. I know it's really hard to get over something as precious as losing a family member that you've loved for years. Nothing's worse than waking up with an abrupt incident. I've had experience with that myself with my birds. I bet he has a very happy place in kitty heaven right now.
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 2:54 pm
by Vephriel
I really appreciate all of your responses, they've helped me get through the day a bit. I still haven't been able to stop crying. Everywhere I look I see something that reminds me of him and then the pain is fresh again. I passed out and slept for about 3 hours earlier and when I woke up I almost thought it was just a bad dream. My heart just hurts so much.
I think the worst part is knowing he was in such pain and suffering at the end. It would have been different if he had passed away peacefully or from an injection, but that scene keeps playing in my head of him struggling to breathe and just watching his body give up. I can't erase that, it replays over and over. I know I shouldn't beat myself up over this but damn it hurts...
Ryan has gone to take him in now. I wanted to keep his ashes so they're performing a private cremation. I was going to go but I'm just too much of a mess to pull myself together and leave the house.
Thanks again everyone for being here...it really means a lot.
Re: R.I.P. Dexter
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 3:00 pm
by Siliverin
Vephriel wrote:I really appreciate all of your responses, they've helped me get through the day a bit. I still haven't been able to stop crying. Everywhere I look I see something that reminds me of him and then the pain is fresh again. I passed out and slept for about 3 hours earlier and when I woke up I almost thought it was just a bad dream. My heart just hurts so much.
I think the worst part is knowing he was in such pain and suffering at the end. It would have been different if he had passed away peacefully or from an injection, but that scene keeps playing in my head of him struggling to breathe and just watching his body give up. I can't erase that, it replays over and over. I know I shouldn't beat myself up over this but damn it hurts...
Ryan has gone to take him in now. I wanted to keep his ashes so they're performing a private cremation. I was going to go but I'm just too much of a mess to pull myself together and leave the house.
Thanks again everyone for being here...it really means a lot.
You shouldnt beat your self up veph
like you said he didnt show to much of being off till the day before and you called the vet. yes it was to late but you had a appoointment! to many people just let the animal go and could care less figureing they will get over it. I had my "first" dog pass away in my lap. He couldnt walk so we called the vet like you, he passed away in my lap that night. he let out a yelp, and that was it. i always thought what if i could of got him in that day, or if only he could of hanged on, but my gods ( being im wiccan ill just say that) had a reason for taking him back home to wait for me. The main thiing is you cared for him you were there for him in the end and you made that call you were gonna take him in he just didnt make it. never let anyone tell you different. though i know it is hard to tink other wise. Like that poem, I am sure he is waiting for you no matter how long it takes.
i am now crying again hehe