Rant Thread

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Wain
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Re: Rant Thread

Unread post by Wain »

God, Bulletdance, I'm so sorry to hear all that crap you're going through :( I'm so sorry about losing your dog, and I hope the radiation therapy isn't too harsh on your mum. If there's no chemo it's not nearly as awful. *hugs*
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Wain
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Re: Rant Thread

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Dewclaw wrote: Sun Dec 26, 2021 9:16 am Husband got me nothing for Christmas. Not sure why I even hoped he would, he never acknowledged my birthday either. What hurts more though, that as of right now, he hasn't even opened the presents I got him....
I'm so sorry I missed your post. I remember you talking about what you've been going through since your husband's brain injury. That must feel so isolating. I hope you have a good support network around you, and if not, I hope you try to find people that can help and support you emotionally. You're a wonderful person for all you're doing and enduring.
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Re: Rant Thread

Unread post by Dewclaw »

I do feel VERY lonely a lot of times, but the people I work with are supportive. Just got to take things a day at a time, and eventually....it will get better....

Also mini rant, we are supposed to get a nasty storm with ice tomorrow. Last time this happened, I lost power for over a week. fingers crossed it doesn't happen again.
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Maria
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Re: Rant Thread

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I'vd been so sick today. Feels like my energy is draining out of me like water from a tap. Think I been awake for 3 hours today...

Days like this Im truly worried about my own health.. days like this I feel like I can see that I dont have as many days in me as I should...

Normally I dont complain but I 've been having way too many days like this lately.

What is worse is that my husbands health is even worse..

I know our days wont be as many as it should be.. and normally i can focus on good and positive things but today I find it harder.

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Re: Rant Thread

Unread post by Dewclaw »

{{{{{hugs}}}}}}
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Re: Rant Thread

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:hugs:
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Wain
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Re: Rant Thread

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Oh Maria, *hugs*

I hope you're feeling better soon! I know your husband has more long-term health issues,. but I hope he's doing ok. Even when you're well it can't be easy to feel good in the middle of winter.
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Re: Rant Thread

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Hard to explain hubbys situation. He´s been told there is nothing more they can do medically or surgically. December we had to call 911 4 times because of heart failure. January he was in hospital 4 times.

Everytime can be the last so on top on my own health situation is super tough at the moment. I have a tiny bit more energy today so thats good but im so so so exhauseted and tired. Pain and constant sickness is so hard to deal with

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Re: Rant Thread

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Maria :hug: I wish so much that there were more I could say or even do. You both are wonderful people and don't deserve to suffer. All I can say is I hope things improve. You deserve to be happy :hug:

---

I hate that I had a sheltered upbringing. It sucks so much that I have to give up some of my favourite content creators all because I'm made extremely uncomfortable by the word for male genitalia, sex talk and innuendos. But it's so commonplace for people to talk about it without a care that no one considers if anyone might be bothered by it, few as we may be. I can only ask so much for people around me to please ease up on that topic before it becomes selfish. At the same time I don't want to be told to get off the internet again. I already have a hard time feeling accepted and like I belong; places like that are so few just because of my aversions and even those are rocky.

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Re: Rant Thread

Unread post by Valnaaros »

You're not alone, Varethyn. I personally don't like listening to content creators that casually discuss or makes jokes about such things.
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Re: Rant Thread

Unread post by Maria »

me neither.. in fact i hate it...

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Re: Rant Thread

Unread post by Dewclaw »

I'm not one for that sort of thing either, but in my line of work, sometimes certain parts have to be discussed in a medical sense. I always feel a bit awkward.

And Tarn. {{{{{HUUUGGSSS}}}} Am helpless to help you, but here for you for anything you need.
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Re: Rant Thread

Unread post by Dewclaw »

Really Arlo...1 rugged axe....
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Re: Rant Thread

Unread post by Bowno »

Dad had a heart attack and ended up in the ER. Had to replace a valve in his heart.
Going to have to talk to Dad and Mom soon about how they cant live in that house any more and thats going to be hell.
Been trying to get hired for a Work from Home job for a while now. Everyone is 'desperately hiring' on their listings.. But they dont want to hire me.
Somehow I owe over $700 in taxes despite me having been out of work. I got $85 in my bank account. Cant even pay my electric RN. This will be fun.
My fiance's mother also just had a heart attack while she is on the other side of the country from us. She's currently in the ER.

And people wonder why some times I get suicidal thoughts.

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Re: Rant Thread

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:hug:
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Wain
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Re: Rant Thread

Unread post by Wain »

God Bowno, I'm so sorry to hear that :( It sounds like everything is piling on you at once. I hope your dad is in good hands now. Valve replacements are pretty much routine these days - doesn't mean it's not scary to think about though! My grandfather had one at the age of 89 and he came through just fine.

I hope you can find some work soon! 💙
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Re: Rant Thread

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My little dog Polly unfortunately has to be euthanised tomorrow and I'm an emotional wreck. She's around 19 years old, so I expected it sooner or later, but it turns out she's accumulating fluid around her heart due to a tumour. It was drained last week but the fluid returned in a few days, so it's a serious issue and nothing that can be fixed, especially given her extreme age. So tomorrow we have to say goodbye to her and it's breaking my heart.

Fortunately she's in good spirits (despite being obviously unsteady on her feet and a little bloated). She's eaten nearly 2 KFC fillets today, as well as a bunch of treats, and she keeps wanting to go outside to patrol the neighbourhood, as she's done for a decade and a half. My life and my heart are going to have huge holes in them tomorrow.
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Re: Rant Thread

Unread post by Dewclaw »

{{{{hugs}}}} wain. Pets are family. :( I know it hurts, but you are doing the absolute right thing.
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Re: Rant Thread

Unread post by Arthur »

Hey guys, I know I ain't been here for a long time and it's not the coolest to just pop in to dump but.. mm.

If necessary, trigger warnings for death, mental health, and other pretty triggering things.

So my last post in the vent board here mentioned my father's cancer had begun to get worse/spread. And well, it never did get any better. He passed away on December 2nd. After a quite long, stressful and traumatizing few months of his health deteriorating and it spreading to his brain and forgetting who we were. He had to be taken to hospice care and spent roughly his last month or so there. During this time my own health was poor - it's never really recovered to be honest - and I was often sick in bed and unable to leave the house. And due to that I never got to say a proper goodbye before he died. And I think about this often and hate myself for it. And I said before and will continue to say it - they were/are both terrible abusive people - but I still can't help my feelings. I grieve. I still grieve. I have cried and continue to do so. I am still so lost. It still doesn't feel real. I have been deteriorating mentally and physically, my depression is just unshakable, stress is eating me, my mental illness seems to get worse by the day. My physical issues seem to keep getting worse as well. I was discovered to have gluten intolerance around the middle or so of last year, and it's been a ride dealing with all this, avoiding allergens and triggers, it's so much and so much more stress on top of everything. Even avoiding it I still am getting sick from other things - I am assuming stress and anxiety causes a lot. I've also spiraled into very unhealthy behaviors as well and developed an eating disorder, and have fallen back into self-harming too as well as nearly constant suicidal ideation. The last year and this one have been living hell and I really can't see any sort of brightness in my future whatsoever. It's really just not looking good for me at all.

Anyway, sorry for dropping such a heavy post. I just needed to let some off my chest.. Take care everyone. I miss you guys a lot.

(if this is too much and has to be deleted I understand and I apologize..)

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Maria
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Re: Rant Thread

Unread post by Maria »

:hug: not too much imo. Good to talk about it. :hug: really hope you find something to make you feel better. :hug:

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HUGE thanks to Makoes, Syleye, FeralClaw, Pingupuff, Karin,Bowno, Varethyn, Ashaine, Kishay, Aki (Täräin13), my friend Marie and some lovely ppl on Fligth Rising for my lovely sig

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