My stomach has been lurching all day. I took a nap to kinda ease the pain and I was okay until I sat down to eat and signed onto AIM. :/ As much as I hate to say it, my opinion of certain people has changed, and it makes me less than eager to log back on and hear them babble about stuff as if everything is totally fine. It's not fine. Maybe it's fine for you but you got from 'not fine' to 'fine' by essentially shaking me by the shoulders and yelling at me until I gave up and curled into a ball.
I'm a forgiving person, I'm not a jerk and I don't hold grudges, but I'm kind of annoyed that every attempt to show you how badly you hurt me, from the subtle to just outright saying so, is completely ignored. You basically accused me of damn near everything in an attempt to get your way, fussed at me until I made up some bullshit compromise to get you off of my back and now you're acting like everything is peachy, like you don't get why I'm aloof and upset and constantly rambling about how I need help - that's not something my boyfriend does. :/ It's not him at all. Even when I sat there and said, plain as day, that compromise is not something I'm really willing to go through with, I got a subject change and no response. I don't want to lose you, just thinking about it makes me sick, but I don't know what else to do! You're so wrapped up in 'Kerri is trying to ruin my fun!' that nothing else matters. Not the fact that it does NOT jive with my morals, or the fact that it's illegal, or anything else. 'I find it morally wrong and it makes me extremely uncomfortable, not to mention triggery for panic attacks' is apparently equal with 'I don't like it because I don't want you to have fun'. You say you care, and then you turn around and completely ignore everything that you should care about. What the fuck man.
I understand that we saw this issue in two completely different ways. I understand that you were very sure that you were in the right here, that you thought I was just being a killjoy or paranoid or actively trying to make you miserable, but it doesn't really justify the end result. I don't like this new guy. I want my old man back. :(