corrupt a wish

[SpiritBinder]

Granted!
But the pack of raptors you befriend are actually part of a raptor gang! /Gasp!! and you get caught up in their gang rivalry /doublegasp!
A raptor from the opposing gang does a drive by and puts a cap in your ass, and the scent of the blood drives your befriended pack of raptors into a feeding frenzy!!! and they eat your face off... oh and that's where the phase "Bro before Hoes" came into existence, the end.

I wish I never to take part in this thread again....

[Crotalus Horridus]

Quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever read, however Raptor social structures did work like gangs, but they probably didn't eat fellow pack mates.

Granted!
However, you are slowly dragged back into the thread because of your curiosity of how I responded to your post!

I wish to go back to the same time period as I wished before, turn myself into a dinosaur, befriend a raptor, hybridize with it, and then go back to the present and conquer the world with super-dinosaurs.

[Rottingham]

Granted, but your super dinosaurs are the modern forms of dinosaurs (aka chickens and emus) and you are laughed at and give up ruling the world and open a KFC instead...

I wish I rescued a damsel in distress... Who is also in leopard print

[Crotalus Horridus]

Granted!
However, the damsel you rescued in Leopard Print isn't a damsel at all, she is in fact a Leopard! (Gasp!) With rabies! (Double Gasp!) She then devours you and shows her true form, a Dingo! (Triple Gasp!) Once she is in her true form, the Dingo, she goes to a hospital and steals a baby! (Uber Gasp!11!!1!)

I wish to grow wings and fly away.

[Lady Blah Blah]

[Crotalus Horridus]

Granted!
But... the Champagne is really elephant urine! Mwahahahahahahahaahahaahaahahahahaaaahaahhaahaa!


I wish aliens would take me up in their ship so I can ask them if they have a device that can change my Appearance/DNA and a Time Machine.

[Tsuki]

Granted!

... except they don't have any of that stuff, and just end up setting you off in the middle of nowhere, after shaving off all your hair and taking an eyeball :c

I WISH A COULD TELEPORT ANYWHERE I WANT :D

[Rottingham]

Granted, but your mind only WANTS you to teleport bathroom once an hour every hour...

I wish I could run up a building without losing stamina!

[NathanBros]

Granted, but it gives you sickness.

I wish these withdraw symptoms gone fast.