What am I always doing wrong?... not a happy story...[Kinda]

[Felidire]

Not all girls are into the bad guys, either. For most it's just a phase, and for some (like me) it never happens at all.

Dude.. I'd always thought that you were a guy... xD

From personal experience I've found that some guys can also start out seeming nice and soon enough turn out not to be. Makes one wary about the nice guy when encountering him. Is he really a nice guy or is it just an act.

It's usually pretty obvious if a guy is being false, just have to be observant. Also, when most people first start dating they're all elated, best behaviour, oblivious to the other party's flaws & the potential problems that are likely show later on. That's not the case after a couple months and they become far less tolerable, then it's la-de-dah break-up teim. <3

I think that a lot of the time the signs are there, just the guy/girl doesn't see them (their friends and family sure do, though.) If the guy fools everyone.. well then, he should consider a career in acting!

[Saturo]

Not all girls are into the bad guys, either. For most it's just a phase, and for some (like me) it never happens at all.

Dude.. I'd always thought that you were a guy... xD

That happens disturbingly often... Guess I'm not very feminine. :P

[Worba]

when most people first start dating they're all elated, best behaviour, oblivious to the other party's flaws & the potential problems that are likely show later on. That's not the case after a couple months and they become far less tolerable, then it's la-de-dah break-up teim. <3

This ^

So many people equate that "new car smell" with how a "good" relationship should always feel, e.g. if it takes work then it must not be meant to happen (or else it's "why put in the work with the current beau when there's 2-3 other hot single people who are dying to go out with me?")... but sad fact is ALL RELATIONSHIPS TAKE WORK. The whole way through, whether you're 15, 25 or 80. This is not an old fashioned, quaint view, this is reality.

Granted there is a point at which it can become too much work and it's time to move on, but first both people should take a very honest look at themselves and their actions, and maybe see a couples councilor a few times (at least if there's a marriage and/or kids at stake) - often perfectly valid views and feelings fall on deaf ears because the couple are so entrenched in the bric a brac of "you do this - well only because you do that" etc, and having an impartial observer there to lend validity where it's due can go a long way toward breaking the stalemate and helping get the relationship out of the rut.

[Worba]

Not all girls are into the bad guys, either. For most it's just a phase, and for some (like me) it never happens at all.

Dude.. I'd always thought that you were a guy... xD

That happens disturbingly often... Guess I'm not very feminine.

There is no safe way to answer this.

[Moore]

I keep wanting to post in this thread; and say something like "It get's better". But in all honesty I can't ._.

You aren't doing anything wrong though; that's just how it goes.

[Cialbi]

Not all girls are into the bad guys, either. For most it's just a phase, and for some (like me) it never happens at all.

Dude.. I'd always thought that you were a guy... xD

That happens disturbingly often... Guess I'm not very feminine.

One would think that listing your gender as "Mortally impaired geekgirl" would suffice (I hope that on one reads that and still gets your gender wrong ), but it's almost as if you need to list your gender as ">>FEMALE<<".

I keep wanting to post in this thread; and say something like "It get's better". But in all honesty I can't ._.

^ is truth. Everywhere you go, you'll find girls that are losers, and guys that are losers. The latter are merely easier to detect. I, for many reasons not having much to do with religion, chose to go to a Christian university. Yep, it's anything but a party school here, and I'm happy with that. But, I've learned that there's another brand of crazy to contend with; Miss Shopping-for-a-Husband. They view the male population of the student body as a clothes rack, mentally 'trying on' potential mates by imagining what their children would look like if they were fathered by so-and-so. It's not even like they have an advantage in terms of supply and demand; the student body is predominantly female.

So, I suggest trying to enjoy your life as a single, and to be careful of who you chase after. I'm not saying to pack up and leave the dating scene, expecting someone to fall into your lap; that happens in romance novels, and I'm afraid you aren't in one. Just learn to break off the chase when she isn't acting like she's ready for a serious and caring relationship.

[Worba]

I keep wanting to post in this thread; and say something like "It get's better". But in all honesty I can't ._.

Of course things can get better.

Sure, as long as someone keeps doing the same thing and expecting different results, nothing will change - that's a given.

However the opposite is just as true - start doing different things and you often will start getting different results.

It's not "destiny" that the party boy in OP's scenario has more success with girls - it's because he doesn't sit around waiting for things to happen. He may well enjoy a certain amount of "inherited advantages" and maybe a measure of luck as well, but seriously that's not going to provide more than a kickstart to getting what you want.

[Moore]

It all depends on "what you want" I suppose...

[Cialbi]

It all depends on "what you want" I suppose...

Yeah, I completely agree. I'm sure that what Rottingham wants out of a relationship is going to be quite different from what B wants out of a relationship.

[Turgus]

Let me offer my one piece of advice: work on your self confidence.

This is one of the most basic and important things that you can do. (I wish someone would have told me this when I was a kid)
And it will literally help you in every aspect of your life, from school and work, to relationships, to just going out and having fun.

It is something that you have to build and maintain, so you have to make sure it does not turn into arrogance and pride. (people often mistake arrogance for confidence)

But this is the simplest and most effective way to move on with your life.
Take this as a learning experience, get up, brush yourself off, and try again but with more confidence.

It will open some many doors you wont believe it!
Trust me on this.

And it sounds cliche, but it is soooo true.... There are plenty more fish in the sea. (prettier, smarter, funnier, etc)
So don't let this one girl get you down, you never know who you will run into tomorrow.

And if you have the confidence to step to the plate, you never know where it might lead you.

[Felidire]

You know, it really isn't all that hard to find someone who seeks the same things from a relationship as you do. I'm extremely picky and i've only dated twice, yet I still managed to find 2 awesome people who both looked for the same thing as I did, the only reason i'm single right now is because of minor personality conflicts. I've never argued with someone in a relationship either, things have always gone rather smoothly..

I don't think you should ever have to "change yourself for the relationship or the other person." If it's something like drinking less, quitting smoking, and you want to do it for both yourself, the other person and to better the relationship, then it's fair enough.. But it's completely WRONG for one person to EVER expect the other to change FOR THEM. I think the 'right' relationship is the one where most of the pieces just fall into place. There's very little guesswork, a great deal less stress and practically never having to come to compromises.

If you keep doing what you're doing now by getting to know the person as a friend first, then you're on the right track. Just.. make sure that they're as close to perfect as possible. People are never perfect, but despite that the perfect partner does exist.

That happens disturbingly often... Guess I'm not very feminine.

I used to get called "she" and "her" disturbingly often as well. It's pretty funny. xP

One would think that listing your gender as "Mortally impaired geekgirl" would suffice (I hope that on one reads that and still gets your gender wrong ), but it's almost as if you need to list your gender as ">>FEMALE<<".

That was never written there for at least 2.5 months after i'd signed up on the forums. From that point on it became a case of simply looking at the person's name, and identifying them as i'd done so for almost 3 months. I can read that "mortally impaired geekgirl" line a dozen times now, then take one look at the name/avatar and I still get the feeling that she's a guy.

[Worba]

There are always compromises... that's life.

[Rottingham]

Wow, I don't even know what to say! Thnak all of you for helping and listening in this time for me

But long story short B and E are dating now, so that's down the toilet.
But seriosuly, I believe that there is the 'right' person out there for everyone, I just pray mine's not in China or anywhere I won't find them.

And Felidire, I appologise if before you were insulted by my comment ebout drinking and drugs and sex and all that. I don't think people are 'evil' or 'bad' because of it, i just choose not to do it myself because I know the consiquences that could come from those.

Turgus, I am trying to move on but It's hard. I lost sleep because of the first girl, now I'm starting to lose sleep because of E. So as much as I want to mvoe along it will keep haunting me at night in bed...

Moore, I agree, it is just how it goes. I wish it wasn't but It just is. I just hope Carma happens sooner or later.

Saturo... I never thought you were a guy...

Sorry I couldn't respond to everyone but I'm very tired because I've had a long few days at work adn practice with a group project for our acting class.

Good Night all. If you need me I'll be awake in my bed until 4AM...

[Worba]

Go the heck to sleep.

[Kalliope]

But seriosuly, I believe that there is the 'right' person out there for everyone, I just pray mine's not in China or anywhere I won't find them

The way I figure it (now, after many years), you will always meet the person you're supposed to because they'll be in the same place you go, wherever and whenever that happens.

(Now go to sleep!)

[Celi]

It's usually pretty obvious if a guy is being false, just have to be observant. Also, when most people first start dating they're all elated, best behaviour, oblivious to the other party's flaws & the potential problems that are likely show later on. That's not the case after a couple months and they become far less tolerable, then it's la-de-dah break-up teim. <3

I think that a lot of the time the signs are there, just the guy/girl doesn't see them (their friends and family sure do, though.) If the guy fools everyone.. well then, he should consider a career in acting!

He works in insurance. Acting probably wouldn't be hard for him

[Rottingham]

Well I slept better then the pst few nightsl, so it guess it's getting better.

@ Rarako, Is it really that the nicer guys are too 'intimidating' for girls? why then is it that when a guy like me tries to ask them out, they blow them off or say something hurtful? I know not all girls are like this, Heavens no their not! I'm just sayign that apart from the 2 girls in this story, I've had quite a past with this kind of stuff... none of it good. and so It's hard to believe that a gir is intimidated by me because of the way they act. however i do agree with everythign else you are saying, and I don;'t mean to sound agrivated or anything like that, I'm far from it I thank yuo for helpign me, but i just don't see that part of it.

@ Celi, I know too well about these guys that are fakes. an ex-friend of mine was the biggest one out there. He'd act liek a gentleman then once they were 'his' he's treat them liek absolute crap! I wish that people wouldn't act like this, It's painful for even me to watch it happen...

@ Kalliope, I hope you're right and that they are somewhere that I'll meet them! I truely hope so.

[Azunara]

But seriosuly, I believe that there is the 'right' person out there for everyone, I just pray mine's not in China or anywhere I won't find them

The way I figure it (now, after many years), you will always meet the person you're supposed to because they'll be in the same place you go, wherever and whenever that happens.

(Now go to sleep!)

Dear heavens, that'll be a disturbing conversation.

Person: Azu, I think I love you.
Azu: So, have you, I dunno, gotten a BRAIN SCAN recently.
Person: ...What?
Azu: I mean, have you -looked- at me? I'm a sarcastic, impatient, irritable person who generally dislikes most of humankind.
Person: But...but...I -like- those qualities.
Azu: Really, man. Brain scan. Look, I'll even help you schedule an appointment.

And Feli, I thought you were a girl. Dangit, I am a horrible judge of...character?

Not much advice I can give, Rotting. I'm not into the relationship business meself.

[Kalliope]

And Feli, I thought you were a girl. Dangit, I am a horrible judge of...*puts on sunglasses* character?

Fixed!

Not much advice I can give, Rotting. I'm not into the relationship business meself.

When the time/person are right, it'll all click.

[Felidire]

And Feli, I thought you were a girl. Dangit, I am a horrible judge of...character?

LOL, prime example.. </3; Nuu, i'm very much a guy .. and I haven't shaved in 2 weeks either, so i've got some killer-hermit-stubble-action goin' on right here if you need any proof. xD

You sound kind of like me Azu, at least with the impatient and cynical parts. x3

He works in insurance. Acting probably wouldn't be hard for him

Fair enough, I think you need to tell him to stop working overtime, as in 24/7. <3