''I attack you with..''

[Azunara]

I attack you with basic campfire! The silithids land in the fire, and with a sound akin to popcorn, we have some lovely Fried Silithid Strips on our hands.

[Saturo]

I attack you with a spaceship.

[rubybeam]

and i attack you with space goats. very sexy space goats at that

[Saturo]

I cleave the spacegoats at the ankles.

[Azunara]

I attack you with whelps. Many whelps. HANDLE IT!

[Saturo]

I cast Curse of Agony on the whelps!
MOAT DOTS!

[Azunara]

I attack you with a grammatically incorrect sentence.

I...like, fried! hamburger; meat. Its tastes well.

[Saturo]

I throw dead geese at you.

[Azunara]

I throw live Canadian geese at you. Those birds are meeaaan.....

[Saturo]

I eat the geese, and then burp at you. Evil burp.

[rubybeam]

i thorw a censor bar at you

[Kaylai]

I cover everyone head to toe in heavy winter garb and leave them out to boil in the desert sun as I tan in a lawn chair and drink ice cold lemonaide.

[Fworbin]

I attack you with a bucket. Which is to say, I just poured a bucket of ice water on you, and now you're angrily sputtering.

[Saturo]

I swing Frostmourne at you, thus chopping you off at the ankles.

[Kaylai]

I reanimate myself as Dkxlolkaylai and cast FROSTSHOCKKKKK!!

...wait

[Rottingham]

I attack you with A SEXY PARTY! (lead by stewie griffin of course!)

[Kaylai]

I attack you with a SEXIER PARTY, lead by the one and only... Eric Theodore Cartman.
What a twist!!

[Saturo]

I attack you with a rifle.

[Kaylai]

I block your bullets with my trusty impenetrable shield and shine a magnifying glass on your little huntergnome face.
...Closer.. Come closer.. AND BURNN!!

[Azunara]

I attack you with a TLPD! While you're stunned, spluttering, I beat you up, take your lunch money, and run off. Sadly, that TLPD was only a really big stuffed animal. Sorry.