Being called 'gorgeous' offensive?

[Mindsprocket]

Well, saying that something is only offensive if you're offended is neither here nor there. Some people may not mind being called a jerk to their face, but that doesn't mean it's not an insult to others.

In this particular case I really find the wording problematic. I didn't know that "you can't keep the men off of you" is a common phrase (I'm not a native speaker) but that doesn't make it any better. You can basically paraphrase that as "loads of men are coming after you and there's nothing you can do about it" (this meaning isn't simply implied, it's literally stated imo). I don't understand how anyone could find that a possitive thing. Maybe a guy with enough charm could pull it off well enough that I'm not immediately creeped out by him and continue the conversation. But I'd still consider this sentence a "false start" even if it was delivered by George Clooney.

As I said in my previous post, I personally don't find this bad enough that I would want it changed (I really don't care either way), but there are much better ways to complement a woman than that.

[pengupuff]

Anyway...back to the topic...

sex·ism [sek-siz-uhm]
noun

1. attitudes or behavior based on traditional stereotypes of sexual roles.

2. discrimination or devaluation based on a person's sex, as in restricted job opportunities; especially, such discrimination directed against women.

I beg to differ. Traditional sexual/gender roles for women are, among other things, that they are passive and pretty. This emphasizes both of those.

How is the cartoon panda emphasizing that you are passive?
And does giving a female a compliment on her looks always have to be a bad thing?

When I meet older men for the first time (usually friends of the family), getting complimented on my looks does happen. But it's just that: a compliment. Why would I get offended over a compliment? Just because you think someone is pretty/handsome does not necessarily mean you are sexually attracted to them. The cartoon panda in question is not sexually objectifying your avatar, he is just openly complimenting it. And yes, maybe he is judging your avatar based on his/her looks, but anyone who says they never judge strangers based on their looks is a liar and an idiot.

It would be one thing if we were talking about a woman irl who is getting paid less than her male counterpart, or maybe another girl who wasn't allowed to join an organization based on her gender, or something like that. But in this particular situation, I think it's best to stay positive and give the writer (and the cartoon panda!) the benefit of the doubt. No harm was intended, it is a video game, keep calm and carry on.

[Ellaran]

Well, saying that something is only offensive if you're offended is neither here nor there. Some people may not mind being called a jerk to their face, but that doesn't mean it's not an insult to others.

In this particular case I really find the wording problematic. I didn't know that "you can't keep the men off of you" is a common phrase (I'm not a native speaker) but that doesn't make it any better. You can basically paraphrase that as "loads of men are coming after you and there's nothing you can do about it" (this meaning isn't simply implied, it's literally stated imo). I don't understand how anyone could find that a possitive thing. Maybe a guy with enough charm could pull it off well enough that I'm not immediately creeped out by him and continue the conversation. But I'd still consider this sentence a "false start" even if it was delivered by George Clooney.

As I said in my previous post, I personally don't find this bad enough that I would want it changed (I really don't care either way), but there are much better ways to complement a woman than that.

He's not saying "you're helpless to fend off the men". It's just a silly statement, the same way a cute guy would say "the girls are on me so thick, I've got to peel them off like pants". There's no implying of being weak, helpless, or a victim in what he's saying, that's a view that's projected onto the statement.

[Teigan]

In this particular case I really find the wording problematic. I didn't know that "you can't keep the men off of you" is a common phrase (I'm not a native speaker) but that doesn't make it any better. You can basically paraphrase that as "loads of men are coming after you and there's nothing you can do about it" (this meaning isn't simply implied, it's literally stated imo). I don't understand how anyone could find that a possitive thing.

This.

I will grant that, as Galaxy said, perspective is important. Personally I find the idea of swarms of men bent on sexual relationships that I have no control over terrifying and repugnant.

However. The fact that this is a (relatively) common turn of phrase, that seems acceptable to many men AND women, speaks to some basic flaws in our collective psyche.

[Ellaran]

In this particular case I really find the wording problematic. I didn't know that "you can't keep the men off of you" is a common phrase (I'm not a native speaker) but that doesn't make it any better. You can basically paraphrase that as "loads of men are coming after you and there's nothing you can do about it" (this meaning isn't simply implied, it's literally stated imo). I don't understand how anyone could find that a possitive thing.

This.

I will grant that, as Galaxy said, perspective is important. Personally I find the idea of swarms of men bent on sexual relationships that I have no control over terrifying and repugnant.

However. The fact that this is a (relatively) common turn of phrase, that seems acceptable to many men AND women, speaks to some basic flaws in our collective psyche.

How do you know that they want sexual relationships?

[Jadein92]

Fact of the matter is that there have been things throughout history that today we find to be offensive, wrong, ect. Racism being a good example. Here we have a Bugs Bunny cartoon, as you can tell by the caricature this is very racist and wrong by today's standards. But back in 1941 (year it was released) this was a common everyday occurrence, it was funny and just a regular cartoon to them, today its looking back and seeing how uncivilized and hateful we were.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk36qmiVBWw

This other is a Popeye cartoon. The title should be self explanatory. Although it was during the time of WWII it still does not make it right.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEK45-_5y0s


Basically where I'm going with this is that we may not find this a problem now because it has been beat into us via media and internet, even growing up. But decades later people will look back and go "oh how could they think such things about blah blah blah"

[Silivren]

I would perhaps find this creepy if those tiny little words "I bet" werent there. You cant keep the men off of you would intimidate me but because I see "I bet" I take it as a matter of opinion that is either a. true or b. not true. I dont think hes saying it as a gross/lewd comment tbh. I myself dont mind being pretty and able to kickass, which is what seems the future case here.

[Chimera]

Its all in the delivery imo, if they're acting obsessive and are a little whacked out, there might be something wrong. But as an introduction from someone who seems perfectly normal and perhaps a little rowdy or merry/peppy/upbeat/playful (yes i totally used a thesaurus to explain different meanings of 'happy'), or just likes to comment on things about you physically to begin conversation, which is the impression i get from Ji, its just a conversation starter opposed to making females seem inferior.

This is his first interaction to you (i think, i dont have my beta pass), he doesn't know who you are, so he makes light conversation that just comes off as blunt due to his apparent 'blurts before he thinks' attitude. He's just a little on the slow side, hes not a bad person. Maybe its a nervous twinge? Everyone has a little 'twinge' when they're nervous. Mine is usually to take whatever im drinking and sip at it constantly in an attempt to hide any visual indication im feeling nervous. Or to play with one of the stuffed animals ive attatched to my phone or purse. His might be to start conversation on what he thinks is a light note till he gets to know you better and can comment on other things.

I dont know anything that he and the player does after that beginning text everyone's flipping out about so i dont know how he progresses or even who he is beyond a quest giver so this assumption is based of my thoughts about his text, the fact that he seems to speak bluntly and without thinking it through better, and also any possible influences from society that i could think of that could of inspired this text.

[Lisaara]

I like it when a game can make me feel something....happy, sad, nervous, frightened...that makes the game more alive and fun, imho.

I really want them to keep the text(I honestly don't think they're gonna change it) since not everyone thinks its creepy(creepiness seems to be a minority...least out of the research I've done. Asked everyone on my real ID and almost all of them said it wasn't creepy. They found it more humorous or they've heard the saying before and they think the uproar and sexism claims are a bit silly over a fictional character. Their words, not mine, mind you!)

[cowmuflage]

My eyes D: Manboobs scare me. Well most are bigger than mine I have tiny ones XD

[Moderator]

Moderation note: Locking the thread. The discussion has become circular.