For Mania or Mods - Concerned

[Silivren]

I dont know if this is the correct place for this or if any of the mods will read this but its gotta be said. I like the forums but the sheer amount of bullying/hostility I'm seeing now a days is horrid. It seems people cant have a civil conversation without calling each other out. I try to not post in heated topics because of this. I dont know if theres anything you can do but I used to not see it as much as I do now. Its kinda disheartening and really offsetting, just thought I'd say that. It doesnt seem to be getting better it just seems to be getting worse.

I realize some people wont like me posting it but its gotta be said truthfully.

[Saturo]

Yep, it really does suck. I could point fingers, but I won't. I'll just state that there are some problem-people who make problems for us problem-less-people. It sucks.

[Suicune]

The more popular a website becomes, the more diverse the audience is. Petopia was always the go to site for hunters, but its' popularity has increased tenfold since BC. I've noticed a change in the atmosphere of the site for a long while now, but with such a broad playerbase, it is to be expected. Shame there is so much venom seeping through the forums, it gets stressful even reading some of the posts sometimes...

I keep my nose out of it because I'd rather not get irritated over a forum for a game that is supposed to relax me

[Azunara]

I've noticed a lot of anger. I think it started up way back when Mania was sick and the Grinded Gear thread exploded. I'm not out of the RP forum and FA&CW forum, (Which tend to be peaceful, usually.) but I do see some hate in places. I think a big problem, in my opinion, is people don't let things drop. If they can just sit there and go, "Okay, fine. We don't agree, that's that." then things could improve.

Edit: Finished my thought.

[Silivren]

I've noticed a lot of anger. I think it started up way back when Mania was sick and the Grinded Gear thread exploded. I'm not out of the RP forum and FA&CW forum, (Which tend to be peaceful, usually.) but I do see some hate in places. I think a big problem, in my opinion, is people don't let things drop. If they can just sit there and go, "Okay, fine. We don't agree, that's that."

^ This mainly, but I agree with all of you. Its a shame I dont even play WoW anymore I just come here because I like the community but as Suicune said..venom is working its way through and it is stressful even reading some of the posts

[Nubhorns]

Honestly I would be a heck of a lot less concerned if it wasn't all passive-aggressive pseudo snark. It's like people want to say something mean but want to pretend to be cute and nice at the same time lol :) :) :)

If you're going to be a douche, be a douche, don't be a coward*.

*but don't be a douche we may have to ban you

EDIT: I forgot to actually comment on the topic at hand. YES. YES A BAZILLION TIMES. This is a big issue and it really needs to be looked into. I know every community is going to chafe around the edges as it gets bigger, but some people are purposely being antagonistic(myself included, but I never get around to posting what I type. I just get fed up with the BS sometimes and rage to myself) or picking issues out of nothing at all. I think a lot of the problem is people are reading too far into statements posted on the forums and seeing them as directed at someone in particular, usually themselves. 'Everyone is out to get me' is a terrible way of thinking, especially in a community as generally warm as this one.

[Lupis]

I think a big problem, in my opinion, is people don't let things drop. If they can just sit there and go, "Okay, fine. We don't agree, that's that." then things could improve.

This. Agree to disagree! Not everyone is going to be pleased, but that's how life works. Don't restart an old debate with your opinion if six other people have said exactly the same thing, and each time it resulted in cyclical anger and rage.
The idea of locking a threat for cyclical flaming was used a few times - I really like this idea.

[Nubhorns]

I just saw the topic I think may have spurred this.

All I can say is that I'm not surprised.

@Lupis: I want you and Azu's posts to be immortalized on the front page of the forum. Carved into gold plaques.

[Azunara]

*snickers.*

And I'll admit, I tend to use a -lot- of emoticons when I'm saying something on the forums because text is a PITA to get feeling out of. Frankly, I think this image sums up the reason why I use the things.

http://theoatmeal.com/panel/minor_diffe ... smiley-jpg

[Lisaara]

Totally agreed. The hostility is unreal. I wish it were back to the way it used to be, where people just let things die when the OP asks the first time and people could express opinions without fear of being jumped on. It's sad to see the forums turn into a bunch of hostility and bullying.

[Nubhorns]

Thing is Jess, you're asking a lot out of people to have a heated conversation and then up and go NEVERMIND, JUST DROP IT. People have difficulty doing that in real life as well - you're cutting them off when they're more than likely trying to express their opinion, their half of the story, or a tale about their cat that somehow relates to the topic. It's a pretty cheap thing to pull in any conversation, since you're throwing civility out the window and going "whatever, clearly what you have to say isn't worth my time, let's just stop talking altogether".

Honestly the best thing to do is ask for a cease in conversation once, and then stop checking on the topic at all. ;P If you don't like what's going on enough to ask them to stop, there's no point in checking back to see if they actually listened.

P.S. Nobody is out to get you here. There's some hostility, granted, but no one is hiding in the bushes waiting to jump on you once you post. Its the interactions between people and the tone conveyed in the text that causes hostility, and I don't think anyone is completely innocent of that.

[TygerDarkstorm]

Thing is Jess, you're asking a lot out of people to have a heated conversation and then up and go NEVERMIND, JUST DROP IT. People have difficulty doing that in real life as well - you're cutting them off when they're more than likely trying to express their opinion, their half of the story, or a tale about their cat that somehow relates to the topic. It's a pretty cheap thing to pull in any conversation, since you're throwing civility out the window and going "whatever, clearly what you have to say isn't worth my time, let's just stop talking altogether".

Honestly the best thing to do is ask for a cease in conversation once, and then stop checking on the topic at all. ;P If you don't like what's going on enough to ask them to stop, there's no point in checking back to see if they actually listened.

P.S. Nobody is out to get you here. There's some hostility, granted, but no one is hiding in the bushes waiting to jump on you once you post. Its the interactions between people and the tone conveyed in the text that causes hostility, and I don't think anyone is completely innocent of that.

Worded it perfectly.

[Azunara]

To be fair, with that thread I think everyone was talking about, it was getting to the point where further input was extremely likely to be negative and people would be better off if they dropped it and moved on.

Now, I can understand why saying, "SHUT UP, CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALA STOP TALKING" can be annoying when you're just discussing something with someone, but I personally think the thread went beyond just discussion.

I dunno, could be me.

[Lisaara]

Thing is Jess, you're asking a lot out of people to have a heated conversation and then up and go NEVERMIND, JUST DROP IT. People have difficulty doing that in real life as well - you're cutting them off when they're more than likely trying to express their opinion, their half of the story, or a tale about their cat that somehow relates to the topic. It's a pretty cheap thing to pull in any conversation, since you're throwing civility out the window and going "whatever, clearly what you have to say isn't worth my time, let's just stop talking altogether".

Honestly the best thing to do is ask for a cease in conversation once, and then stop checking on the topic at all. ;P If you don't like what's going on enough to ask them to stop, there's no point in checking back to see if they actually listened.

P.S. Nobody is out to get you here. There's some hostility, granted, but no one is hiding in the bushes waiting to jump on you once you post. Its the interactions between people and the tone conveyed in the text that causes hostility, and I don't think anyone is completely innocent of that.

I know it was but I did ask it to drop and it didn't stop so I didn't know what else to do since I can't lock the thread myself. I guess I panicked to try and stop the fire and it only spread. Also when I didn't post, I got poked at too. It hurts when people purposely poke at you cause you decide to not post there(or forget it was even there to begin with) and I bit back when I had enough of the tease and prodding.

I do agree with Azu...it was beyond discussion before that happened and I don't like getting ganged up on.

[Saturo]

To be fair, with that thread I think everyone was talking about, it was getting to the point where further input was extremely likely to be negative and people would be better off if they dropped it and moved on.

Now, I can understand why saying, "SHUT UP, CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALA STOP TALKING" can be annoying when you're just discussing something with someone, but I personally think the thread went beyond just discussion.

I dunno, could be me.

It was plain discussion up until the OP went "I don't want you to contradict me anymore. Stop it or suffer horribly.", so I can't really take any side in the discussion. Going in and saying "STOP! I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN!" is a bad idea, which OP hopefully realized at that point. It led to the negativity that we're now complaining about. Let's just hope it doesn't happen again.

[TygerDarkstorm]

To be fair, calling anyone who disagrees with you a troll/idiot and only bothering to nitpick the points that you find easiest to "debate" against and ignoring the really good points made against you is negative and should be dropped and people should move on.

See what I did there?

Just to further add: I was going to say that Makkie's last post was going a bit too far as he was purposely trying to prod you, however, your post after his made me upset enough to not want to say anything in your defense.

[Lisaara]

To be fair, with that thread I think everyone was talking about, it was getting to the point where further input was extremely likely to be negative and people would be better off if they dropped it and moved on.

Now, I can understand why saying, "SHUT UP, CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALA STOP TALKING" can be annoying when you're just discussing something with someone, but I personally think the thread went beyond just discussion.

I dunno, could be me.

It was plain discussion up until the OP went "I don't want you to contradict me anymore. Stop it or suffer horribly.", so I can't really take any side in the discussion. Going in and saying "STOP! I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN!" is a bad idea, which OP hopefully realized at that point. It led to the negativity that we're now complaining about. Let's just hope it doesn't happen again.

Which I do but I hope others realize hostility and cornering someone isn't the best way to 'state your points' either....whether they're good ones or bad. I felt cornered and prodded like an abused animal in a small metal cage. That's not fair to me or the topic that was presented or anyone else that started the topic nicely. So personally....neither party was innocent.

[Saturo]

To be fair, calling anyone who disagrees with you a troll/idiot and only bothering to nitpick the points that you find easiest to "debate" against and ignoring the really good points made against you is negative and should be dropped and people should move on.

Here's why, Talu. Sorry, but it was you ignoring the opposition that led to it.

[Ikutai]

Also, backseat moderating. People shouldn't be allowed to call for a lock on a thread simply because people are disagreeing with them. Nor should they be permitted to shout "STOP! LEAVE MY THREAD OR ELSE!" (paraphrasing there)

The people who run this forum do so for a reason, anyone else attempting to run the show is just struggling with control issues. And that leads to major hostility and negativity to boot.

[Lisaara]

To be fair, calling anyone who disagrees with you a troll/idiot and only bothering to nitpick the points that you find easiest to "debate" against and ignoring the really good points made against you is negative and should be dropped and people should move on.

Here's why, Talu. Sorry, but it was you ignoring the opposition that led to it.

I didn't ignore it. I acknowledged it, quite fully. But the way it was worded towards me could've been FAR less hostile. I shouldn't have to fear posting here. Infact, no one should and I know for a fact I'm not the only one here that feels that way because of the way people have come across with there 'arguments against the OP'. That post was a perfect example of it. That's all I'm going to say on it but I'm probably gonna get poked and prodded some more like a caged animal cause I don't want to say more on it.

The OP can call for a lock on the thread if they wish. It's their thread that they started. It's not backseat modding. I've seen threads in the past locked because the OP asked it to be. I doubt that's subject to change anytime soon. It's like that on most forums I've been on. It's not running the show. It's a single thread that the OP made.