A Pirate's Parrot

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Artume
Apprentice Hunter
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Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:06 pm
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A Pirate's Parrot

Unread post by Artume »

... So ... I had a little poke at writing a story about Artume this evening, and I really don't know how to end it. I mean, it has an end, but it needs a little something. If you make it through, I'd be glad to hear/read any suggestions :)
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“Ruddy, coffin-dodging old Druid”, muttered Artume as she squinted against the sun.

Noon was no hour to be scavenging in Tanaris, when the sun was at just the angle to set the silica glinting in every direction. The twinkling stabbed Artume’s eyes as the sun continued to bear down like a weight upon her head. She fumbled in her panniers for a faded and badly misshapen pirate hat, jammed it as far down as her horns would allow, and then tugged the peak until it nearly touched her nose.

Her mount, a Winterspring cat, began to hop and prank in an effort to keep its paws lifted clear of the heat. Artume read the warning and gently pressed her knees to its sides. It bounded off at once on a haphazard course, which was as good as any, given that Artume could spot nothing to recommend a direction. With a squawk, a purple parrot broke from its hover and pursued the cat with zeal, overtaking it and circling its head like a bothersome fly. Pining was feeling positively solar-powered today, much to Artume’s relief.

Only a Druid would insist on scavenged hides, collected from beasts slain and left to rot beneath the desert sun. There was little point in Artume creating some skins, as the Druid could tell by smell the freshness of the leather. When desperate, a certain “fiddle factor” could be brought to bear, whereby Artume could argue that she had come upon a fellow Hunter and followed at his heels, collecting hides before the kills grew cold, but that lie was only credible to a certain point and she needed to be careful to never over-use it. She tried to keep her non-incidental hides to below twenty per cent of any total order, and only threw in fresh kills when the pickings were slim. As rotten luck would have it, the day was beginning to look like one for hunting … an activity that would make the feathered one the only happy creature of the three.

Leonie Winterborn was elderly, even for a Druid, and Artume thought of her as a living embodiment of petrifaction. There was a distinct tedium associated with doing business with her. Leonie’s evenness of temper and unhurried movement seemed to make time drag more slowly than the shadow that paces a circle around a standing stone. All she did was measured and predictable.

The Druid invariably looked at Artume with one crooked eyebrow, even if all the fortuitously fresh hides were genuine. She would then slip soundlessly in to cat-form and skim her muzzle over the merchandise, nostrils fluttering. Occasionally a pink tongue would dart out and a rasping sound be heard as she tested the raw side of the hide. The whole procedure made Artume shudder. These Azerothian creatures who at times went about on two legs and at other times on four unnerved the Draenei like nothing else on this planet.

The Frostsabre mount had caught scent of the faintest breeze and was now instinctively bearing toward to the coast. “No matter,” thought Artume, “Turtles give up hides too.”

Pining, who had not yet tired of dive-bombing and baiting the lavender cat, suddenly shot skyward. She whirled and hung as though tethered, almost silent as her wings lifted and fell in slow motion. Artume turned in the saddle to see what the bird had spotted, but was met with a glare so bright she had to look away. She turned again, and through narrowed eyes determined that a horse-mounted figure was advancing, clad in what had to be a considerable amount of plate. She could tell little more, but a feeling of cold suddenly gripped her heart. The speed with which the horse advanced meant that a Death Knight was riding her way.
Last edited by Artume on Tue Mar 23, 2010 7:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Artume
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Re: A Pirate's Parrot

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Pushing the pirate hat to the back of her head, Artume goaded her mount with her heels, determined to keep distance from the rider until she could better see its shape. Glancing back, the cold in her heart was made to streak like ice-water through every vein. Only a Tauren could throw up a silhouette so large, and it bulky shape was covering the ground at a sickening rate.

Artume was the scurviest of scavengers: a stint on the high seas had taught her to never make what you could take, and to never fight when you could snatch and take flight. Her combat skills, as a consequence, had begun to atrophy. It had been many years since she had killed a member of the Steamwheedle Cartel; so many, in fact, that her exploits had been all but forgotten. Her panicked thoughts jumped to her hunting rifle. It was old and the action was beginning to wear, and it had a growing tendency to misfire. She would have to dismount if she hoped to make a decent shot with it. If only she had a ship’s cannon: that’s what a brute that size needed. Humar’s teeth, even a blunderbuss filled with gravel would probably be better than the old Nesingwary right now…

Another backward glance and Artume was surprised to see that the Tauren had halted. Compulsively, she slowed her cat and studied him for several seconds. Deciding not to take any chances lest the Death Knight be plotting an attack, she shifted her weight to the right and the cat responded by turning toward a distant minor mountain that rose from the plain. She would wait there to make a stand, if it were warranted.

Artume dismounted in the lee of the mountain and took an ancient spyglass from her saddlebag. The sun played havoc with the lens, and her trembling hands meant that it took long minutes for her to pick out the Tauren. She found him standing motionless, but could have sworn he was now only half as far away as when she first saw him pull up. Passing a hand over her brow, she wondered if she should not have tried to save her brain from baking many hours sooner.

After ensuring the Nesingwary was loaded, Artume located the Tauren with the spyglass once more, only to see him in full gallop. She held her breath has he advanced, and was ready to drop the glass and snatch her gun when he suddenly stopped again. Deeply perplexed, she sat wondering at his antics until he bolted into action once more.

The thunder of hooves now was audible, and with it, an unfamiliar sound. Artume strained to hear, but her terror deceived her: she thought she could hear the clucking of a chicken. As the tumult came ever nearer, she became convinced. She could definitely hear an unnatural “bawk, bawk, bawk”.
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Artume
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Re: A Pirate's Parrot

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“Oh, great. He so convinced that I’m just a smear of Thimbleberry jam waiting to happen that he’s mocking me.”

Suddenly, with an ear-splitting screech, Pining flew like a crossbow bolt toward the oncoming knight. Artume fairly threw the spy glass in her haste to grab and shoulder the Nesingwary. When she got the Tauren within her sight, she was astonished to see Pining already winging a hasty retreat. While relieved that the bird had not been seized in the fabled “death grip” of the knight, Artume felt a distinct pang of disappointment that her trusted companion was not endeavoring to claw the Death Knight’s glowing eye sockets.

She was just framing a suitable avian insult to squeeze through clenched teeth when Pining reached her. A brassy, raucous object was gripped firmly in the bird’s talons. Artume blinked several times and peered along the length of the rifle at the bobbing bird and its prize. The parrot was still screeching exultantly and the mechanical chicken answering in its tinny way when the Death Knight pulled up on his screaming, hellish horse.

The amount of plate on the hulking brute was, indeed, considerable. As Artume felt her small amount courage draining through her feet, and absurd question flitted through her mind: could all that armour stand up by itself? Was there really a hairy, horned brute behind those glowing eye apertures, or was this presence mechanical too?

Two low notes issued from the shining suit of armour. A whistle. A wolf-whistle, no less.

“Ew!” shouted Artume, slinging the rifle to one side and dancing as if covered in insects. “Pining, drop it! Pining, drop it now!”

Pining opened her talons and the mechanical chicken fell to the sand; the interruption of its squawk made the noise sound like a complaint. The little machine righted itself and it trotted without hesitation on a westward tangent. The Tauren laughed with a sound so deep it set Pining to squawking again. This seemed to make him laugh all the harder. At last, after slapping his own knee several times, the Tauren wheeled his horse and raced after the small waddling figure as it motored along the sands.
Turgus
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Re: A Pirate's Parrot

Unread post by Turgus »

I loved it! Great story! :)
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Rhyela
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Re: A Pirate's Parrot

Unread post by Rhyela »

Lol, it was awesome! That blasted mechanical chicken quest..... Great job!

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Slickrock wrote:Given their current trend, we'll probably get a spirit toucan that farts loops.
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Saydeflower
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Re: A Pirate's Parrot

Unread post by Saydeflower »

Great story!! Thanks for sharing with us :)
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