It shouldnt bug me BUT..

[Redith]

I swear this involves pets.
So theres this girl I met online and she plays wow, she is into vampires and reading and is sexy as hell. And we plan on dating once im in the states. Anyway we were talking about me getting a pet when I get an apartment and how much I like dogs and how im going to the pound to get a puppy and she said this.

Vampy Belf: yay. i'll totally make you get the pup i want.
Redith137: uh dont I get a choice?
Vamy Belf: Yha, the one I pick lol

Since then when I talk to her ...it feels like I like her less just cause she said that. Idk, i take my pets realy seriously and getting my first real dog ( sure I have had dogs but they are like....family dogs, this guy would be mine.)..getting my first real dog, is a big deal to me. If she made a joke like "she had to aprove" i think i could blow it off.

Am I just being critical or am I getting a gut fealing.

[Karathyriel]

This is an old an bitter man speaking...
If she starts that now, you don't want to know what will be coming in the future.

Get rid of her as soon as you can or try breaking her, like cowboys do to young horses.

Now you get an idea why I am single at age 40...

[Siliverin]

ok this is just imo if my fiance - lets say he was someone i was going to date or was, and he said that. i would pretty much say " have a nice life without me" it is your choice on what kinda dog you get. if you want a Lab get one, if you want a freaking awsome sauce cute beagle... get one. your dog, your place, your cash, your life, your responsibility, its your choice and no one elses

lol ahh thats funn karathyriel... but at the point true... there is a chance she wont change or WONT try to...

hey now.. breaking young horses is serious buisness.. i know...... i has scars to prove it lol

[Sarayana]

Yeah... it sounds like she has a lot to learn about the give-and-take compromise that is essential to a good relationship. In and of itself, I wouldn't assume from that statement that she was a bad person (after all, we all make bad jokes and put our foot in our mouth from time to time) and it's possible she could easily learn to be a great partner and girlfriend. However, what really matters here are your feelings. If you feel apprehensive like that now, you might not be able to form a strong, solid relationship with her.

My advice on relationships is always to go with your gut feeling. You need to be able to be with the person for the rest of your life (assuming that's what you're looking for) and that is hard to achieve if you are plagued by doubt.

[Dewclaw]

If she was joking, it was in poor taste, and she needs to be aware of your feelings on this. Go with your gut.

[Siliverin]

yep everyone is so right, go with your gut. it knows. and like stated, if that was a joke... that was a very poor one and wrong.

[Palladiamorsdeus]

Talk it out. Don't just go making rash decisions based on one thing she said. I'm going to absolutely disagree with everyone else and say your gut is wrong. You are letting your pride get in the way because you feel like she was trying to make a decision for you. Relation ships are about give and take, but they are also about understanding. If you toss away a relationship based on one or even two, or hell even five slip ups like this, then you'll probably end up very much alone.

[Saturo]

I'm with Palladia here. It could very well just have been a bad joke, and if it wasn't, you may still like each other. Breaking up over one thing would probably be stupid.

Ooh, you should get a cute dog! Not a chihuahua, but a cute one!Maybe a poodle? :P I would advice against a terrier, they bark and dig. :/

[Siliverin]

what ever you decide, dont get a dog she wants that you dont like, if you both like it, great but if she doesnt then im sorry but to bad.. you are not married and are not dating yet. plus im assuming ill will just be ur house/appartment so its going to be YOUR dog and you are going to take of it ( ie, food vet, clean up, excersice, etc) then its your choice . again imo.

before i lived with my fiance, i got another dog, if he told me i had to get what he wanted or if he didnt like it i couldnt get it.. i wouldnt of listened cause at the time, he wasnt living with me, helping with the animal or anything... again just imo and everyones opinion is different.

[Rhyela]

To me, it sounds like she could have been teasing you. Before doing anything serious, I'd ask her to talk about the dog thing again. If she still insists on getting a dog she wants, then that could be a problem. But to me it sounds like she was just messing with you. At the very least, she should be willing to compromise and get a dog the both of you like.

Good luck!

[Redith]

At the very least, she should be willing to compromise and get a dog the both of you like.

Good luck!

Why? were not living together

[Rhyela]

At the very least, she should be willing to compromise and get a dog the both of you like.

Good luck!

Why? were not living together

Possible future reference? I dunno.....depends on how serious you want to be. I got a pekingese when I got my own place, but if I had been with my husband at the time, I probably would have tried to get something both of us liked because I (obviously) really love him and would have wanted to get something we could agree on. Not that he hates my dog, I just know he would have wanted something else.

So yeah, it all depends on how serious you do or do not want to be with this woman. If you are looking for a casual relationship, then get what you want. But if you think there could possibly be a future, it wouldn't hurt to try to start compromising on things.

It's up to you, sir!

[Sarayana]

I wasn't saying for him to dump her without any more consideration or discussion, Palladia. I was pretty much saying what you're saying about talking it out and finding out where she was coming from with it... I would never tell someone to dump their partner without talking to them first. On the other hand, once a person does talk to their partner, really talk to them and try to find out if there's something there that can't be compromised about by either partner, then yeah, your gut feeling is a pretty strong indicator of whether it'll work. I say that simply because if your most basic feeling about your relationship is that it won't work, then you're less inclined to put in the effort and time to make it work.

[Palladiamorsdeus]

Understood, Sarayana. My apologies.

Also Redith, if both of you like it then what's the problem? Even if you aren't living together, you have a pet that the two of you agreed upon. It's a win win situation.

[Sarayana]

No apologies needed, Palladia. I just wanted to be sure that my post wasn't misunderstood.

[Siliverin]

everyone has good points, i still say though if she isnt living with you. get the dog you want. plain and simple.

[zedxrgal]

Everyone has great advice but me personally I would find out how the comment was implied but it would still alter my opinion of that person.
In my opinion, controlling is controlling joking or not. There's a such thing as passive aggressive! I personally would take that comment as a controlling remark and usually people are to far from how they normally are when joking in my experiences. In joking their true personalities usually come out.

I say ask but proceed with caution from there on out.

[mpd_84]

didn't you just get out of a relationship with someone who was controlling/manipulative?

[Rawr]

Well if she's joking, its in bad taste, but if she's not I'd get out before you get in too deep. She sounds very controlling and hotness, sorry to say, should never be a reason to stay with someone. You need to get to know her more, just my advise tho

[Ryai]

if she is joking while it is in 'bad taste' as some people put it, some people just have bad humor.

Tho I suggest talking it out with her and tell her you won't get a dog just because she wants you to get her a dog- unless, that is kinda what she wants, IE a not so subtle hint for you to get her a present. She could be one of those people who blatantly tell people what they want and expect for presents. I mean, it's not the same as those who have to drop blatant hints for people to pick up, as some are just that dense.

Or she's just selfish and wants you to get her specific things.