Ketchaeatcha Vs Ignorance

[Ketchaeatcha]

Ketcha: “A lot of yas been asking “Ketcha, ya mentioned de staff of knowledge last time, what is dat?” Well all priests be needing some tings in order to minister to de peoples dey be encountering in dere travels. Dey are; a unlimited tolerance for de silliness de group can git into, a quick response to injury, and de object of knowledge… recommended to be a solid object of pleasing weight and length. In my case it be de long hardwood staff.”

Now I can hears ya now, “Ketcha” ya says “How do you use de staff of knowledge to enlighten de closed minds of others?” Well to answer dat I have invited a guest appearance in dis sermon. I bid yas give a warm welcome to a hunter who goes by de name of Hugh-Jim-Bissel. We’ll call him Hugh for short… say hello Hugh”

Hugh: “Hello”

Ketcha: “Now Hugh, I be wanting yas to tell de readers yas views on DPS, Instancing, De hunters role in de party in general, and anything else dat you feel be important for dem to know about yas”

Hugh: “Ok n00bz, hunters are like all about the damage! Always have a damage meter up, if your not on the top then you’re crap. Always do as much damage as you can, don’t worry about aggro that’s what you have tanks for. So always be DPSing, traps are worthless since they take up time that you could be shooting.

Keep your pet on aggressive in a instance, that way if a monster is close by it can grab him while your party is finishing off the last one. Also you’re a hunter and you have a ranged weapon it’s for a reason, so when your party is fighting you can trigger the next group of monsters. If your healer and tank tell you to stop ignore them, they’re just whining.

Also try and get close and use your swords, you can swing 3x as fast as you can shoot and you have like 2x weapons and 3 x 2 is six vs. 1 bow shot so it’s obvious you do more damage that way. Lastly all pets are the same so don’t be a noob and try and name it something cool, it’s a DPS addon nothing more… you wouldn’t believe how stupid some hunters are about that.”

Ketcha: “Interesting… Dat all?”

Hugh: “Umm… lemmie think… ya that’s it”

Ketcha: “Ya sure, wanna give ya a chance to say everyting before de rubuttle”

Hugh: “That’s it n00b, stop asking me”

Ketcha: “Right den… now for de rebuttle I turn to de staff of knowledge. Staff of knowledge, what do you say about dis?”

Staff of Knowledge (SoK): *WHACK*

Hugh: “ARRG! YOU PSYCHO YOU WHACKED ME IN THE HEAD!”

SoK: *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK*

Hugh: “ARG!”

Ketcha: “It be de job of de DPS to pull less threat den de tank, not de tanks job to have more threat den de DPS!”

SoK: *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK*

Hugh: “Stop it!”

SoK: *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK*

Ketcha: “It be de job of de DPS to pull less threat den de tank, not de tanks job to have more threat den de DPS!”

Hugh: “I’ll.. get… you for…. This”

SoK: *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK*

Ketcha: “It be de job of de DPS to pull less threat den de tank, not de tanks job to have more threat den de DPS!”

Hugh: “It…..be… the… job of the DPS… *mumble* then the tank…”

SoK: *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK*

Hugh: “It be de job of de DPS to pull less threat den de tank, not de tanks job to have more threat den de DPS!!! JUST STOP HITTING ME”

Ketcha: “You be responsible for ya pet! If it finds a monsta it be your fault!”

SoK: *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK*

Hugh: “KEEP PET ON DEFENSIVE OR PASSIVE! OH GOD I THINK YOU BROKE MY ARM!”

Ketcha: “You a hunter, dat a ranged class. Yas has a bow for a reason Use it”

Hugh: “…Uhhhh… bow… use it…………. I think I’m hurt very badly… help me”

Ketcha: “Pets are friends, not weapons… dey deserve a name worthy of dat relationship

SoK: *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *Krack!*

Ketcha: “Yas broke de staff of knowledge”

Hugh: “…Oh thank the light….”

Ketcha: “Ya, dis not gonna be of any use ever again”

Hugh: “Bandage… I have a… bandage somewhere here”

Ketcha: “It be ok tho, lemme just go out back”

Hugh: “Wha…”

Ketcha: “Ya, de Log of Knowledge be behind de house”

Hugh: “Oh no….. oh god no”

LoK: *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK*

Ketcha: “It puts de arrow on it’s bow, or else it gets de stick again”

Hugh: “What?”

Ketcha: “I said rename de pet!”

Hugh: “I’LL BE A BETTER HUNTER! I’M SORRY… JUST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP HITTING ME!”

Ketcha: “PRASE BE TO DE LIGHT! DE DEMON OF IGNORANCE HAS BEEN CLEANSED! SAY HALLIJUYA!”

Hugh: “…….”

Ketcha: “Say iiiiiit”

Hugh: “Hallijuya”

Ketcha: And dat be how de priest be making de world a better place, one ejiot at a time… Amen mon

[Ungoro]

Nice! I would of lol'ed harder if it wasn't 2:33 am...

[Schatzy]

I love it! Although, with my main as a druid healer I'd have to administer the beatings myself rather than letting the Log o' Knowledge do it (but then again, as a tree I suppose my arm is the Log o' Knowledge...). That is, if I had as high of a Charisma modifier as you (sorry I've been into a little DDO on the side recently.)

[Kastarakovski]

AMEN MON!

A-FREAKIN-MEN!

Now I'm off to find me a sandwich...all that whacking made me hungry =D

[Saturo]

Does Gun of Knowledge count as a Log of Knowledge too?

I happen to have several, currently.

[Sarayana]

HALLIJUYA!!!

Now where can I get a Log of Knowledge? (The Staff of Knowledge seems a bit fragile for my tastes...)

[Sonata]

Like words from heaven Hallelujah!
Ahahah...my face is twisted in a grin for all day long now.
I'll take the Mace of Knowledge...or a Hammer...yes hammer but staffs are better for whacking.

[VelkynKarma]

Inspiring words from the priest as always!

So we have a priest armed with the Staff/Log of Knowledge...and I'm pretty sure somebody around here has a Mighty Hammer of Mighteousness...we're getting quite a collection of Petopian Weaponry

~VelkynKarma

[Kitairra]

EPIC WIN!!


Kitairra

[Saturo]

So we have a priest armed with the Staff/Log of Knowledge...and I'm pretty sure somebody around here has a Mighty Hammer of Mighteousness...we're getting quite a collection of Petopian Weaponry

Don't forget me trusty ol' Chicken Gun! It can fire chicken 800yards, and boomkin 200yards!

Bucaw!

[VelkynKarma]

So we have a priest armed with the Staff/Log of Knowledge...and I'm pretty sure somebody around here has a Mighty Hammer of Mighteousness...we're getting quite a collection of Petopian Weaponry

Don't forget me trusty ol' Chicken Gun! It can fire chicken 800yards, and boomkin 200yards!

Bucaw!

Is that in the same class as the Chuck Shot?

~VelkynKarma

[Saturo]

Indeed. I even tried talking like ol' Flintlocke, but it didn't work out that well...

[Ryno]

Indeed. I even tried talking like ol' Flintlocke, but it didn't work out that well...

Yas dinnae 'ave the accent on 'eavy enough! Yas gotsta keep it on o' all times!

Also, excellent sermon as always Ketcha. It was very uplifting. Meaning I laughed and fell out of my chair.