Alex Reads Twilight [warning: Twilight Bashing]

[Ryai]

really though skin walkers aren't that creepy compared to some other monsters i heard of * flying heads with lungs hearts and spines hanging down for a body*

It's not that they're supposed to be creepy. But the fact they are dangerous creatures- that depending on the myth, will eat men or their souls if I remember right. Or atleast won't hesitate to kill you. As said a skinwalker isn't something that 'fights vampires' or whatever crap Meyer came up with.

[Saturo]

What I find funny? That Smeyers thinks that deserts are Hot and only hot. I live in texas. Yes it's hot in the summer and it's hot when it shouldn't be hot. But you know what happens when it's not hot?

ITS COLD.

VERY COLD.

Freeze ur buns off cold.

It gets down to the 30/40s sometimes. Sometimes lower. Just because we only got snow one time and that was a while ago, doesn't mean deserts don't get cold.

But what I hate the most was her portrayal of 'Werewolves' and then calling them 'Shapeshifters' and finally 'Skin Walkers' and just, go look up Skin Walkers.

They aren't cuddly near pedophilic creatures Smeyers made >_<

really though skin walkers aren't that creepy compared to some other monsters i heard of * flying heads with lungs hearts and spines hanging down for a body*

Pics or it didn't happen.

And yes, I think the "skinwalkers fight vamps" part is just a cheap ripoff of another movie. Stupid me can't recall it's name.

[Nikrosnil]

This is Hilarious, both the vids and the comic. xD

I have to admit, I was a little obsessed with twilight for a little while. I enjoyed the book, even though the grammar made me want to burn something, but what I enjoyed even more was making fun of it as I went along.

Bella: Hi, Edward! You're a big scary vampire who wants to kill me, let's go on a date!
Edward: We shouldn't be friends, but okay, let's have a picnic.
Bella: ASDGHJSAHFDHA YAAAAAAAAY!
Edward: .......
Bella: *inane grin*
Edward: *sparkle*

[Rexham]

Pics or it didn't happen. :lol:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRFPf0dg ... r_embedded It's a Thai ghost :D

[Saturo]

Lol
"What ghost is that?"
"That's a transvestite."

[VelkynKarma]

really though skin walkers aren't that creepy compared to some other monsters i heard of * flying heads with lungs hearts and spines hanging down for a body*

It's not that they're supposed to be creepy. But the fact they are dangerous creatures- that depending on the myth, will eat men or their souls if I remember right. Or atleast won't hesitate to kill you. As said a skinwalker isn't something that 'fights vampires' or whatever crap Meyer came up with.

What actually bugged me even more about this is that she switched her lore at the END of the series for no explainable reason. Jacob and his homies are all portrayed as 'werewolves' (who apparently don't 'transform,' rather they 'phase,' which was just a stupid word choice >> ). But then in like the last chapter of the last book she goes LOL JK THEY NOT WEREWOLVES AFTER ALL LOLOLOL.

Now, if there had been hinting at this throughout the entire series? Okay, that's fine then. At least there had been elements to indicate that something was up with these dudes. But no, they are continually referred to as werewolves, and she just kinda changed it at the very end. Even the Cullens--who explain that they are not, in fact, werewolves, at the very end--go ahead calling them that for nearly FOUR books. To me, that just indicates that she didn't know what she was doing, didn't plan out her series, and about three and a half books in went "OH HEY, here's a new idea that's better! Oh, but I already wrote this...eh I'll just Hand Wave it. THERE all fixed!"

UGH.

~VelkynKarma

[rubybeam]

http://www.fanpop.com/spots/anime/artic ... ard-cullen only thing i could find

[Ryai]

This whole thing is now making me wanna dust off my writing skills and retake a satire/parody of Twilight I was attempting to do.

Hell I just might, not got anything better to do as I camp for Skoll.

I forgive in advance if I get details wrong- no wait why should I forgive. I couldn't even make it past like chapter 5 or whatever >_>

[Talody]

I tried to read Twilight. . .I think I may have read a whole chapter, possibly two. . .I'm not sure. . it's blocked from my memory and too painful to try to recall.

/shudder

[VelkynKarma]

I forgive in advance if I get details wrong- no wait why should I forgive. I couldn't even make it past like chapter 5 or whatever >_>

Hey, that's fine. Not even Meyer could keep track of her own plotlines and details. Why should you?

~VelkynKarma

[Kastarakovski]

Re: HeadTrip Comic
I know the lovely chicka who draws that wonderful comic. She's had it rough for the last few weeks, but her Twilight parodies brighten up my day.

http://headtripcomics.comicgenesis.com/d/20080915.html - still say this one tops that one though =D
http://headtripcomics.comicgenesis.com/d/20100226.html - ...and maybe this one too...what every father of this current generation is dreading XD

Oh and this:
http://www.latinoreview.com/news/taylor ... light-9247
UNIVERSAL GOT PWNED

You'd be amazed how many people block me on DA because I say if Meyer can get her FF.net ripoff fangirlism time machining crapola published, so can I *chuckles*

[Kamalia]

Oh and this:
http://www.latinoreview.com/news/taylor ... light-9247
UNIVERSAL GOT PWNED

I cried.

I'm not sure if it was from laughter or despair.

[VelkynKarma]

Oh and this:
http://www.latinoreview.com/news/taylor ... light-9247
UNIVERSAL GOT PWNED

I cried.

I'm not sure if it was from laughter or despair.

It was just despair for me.

/sob

~VelkynKarma

[Aleu]

Oh and this:
http://www.latinoreview.com/news/taylor ... light-9247
UNIVERSAL GOT PWNED

My faith in humanity just went down severely...

[Vephriel]

Oh and this:
http://www.latinoreview.com/news/taylor ... light-9247
UNIVERSAL GOT PWNED

.....
Did I honestly just about someone who thinks werewolves are copyrighted from Twilight?? D:

*dies*

[Rhyela]

OMG, this guy is hilarious! I couldn't help it, I watched all of them. I made the mistake of watching the first movie (had no idea what it was, never heard of the books), and it was such garbage! Wow, so the movie wasn't too far off from the books, lol!!! I loved the Levitra pen comment, too.

[Vephriel]

Haha Edrawr....I known what you mean. I have read the books, originally I picked up the first one because it sounded like something that I would enjoy. I heard some people saying it was reminiscent of Anne Rice (Uggghhh what an insult!!!) so I jumped at the chance to find a new book.

Yeah...got through it thinking the whole time that it read like some sort of mediocre fanfic. I found myself laughing through it mostly, but for some reason decided to finish the series to see what would happen.

The farther you go the worse it gets. -.- I can't even get over the f%$&ed up relationships that are portrayed in these books, and I've never been so disgusted with a 'unique twist' on vampires. Seriously, effing sparkles and no fangs?? Wtf is up with that? A tampon would make a better vampire than Edward Cullen.

[Talody]

Oh and this:
http://www.latinoreview.com/news/taylor ... light-9247
UNIVERSAL GOT PWNED

oh my. . .

. . wow. . .

*grabs a pint of death by chocolate and hides under desk.*

[VelkynKarma]

Haha Edrawr....I known what you mean. I have read the books, originally I picked up the first one because it sounded like something that I would enjoy. I heard some people saying it was reminiscent of Anne Rice (Uggghhh what an insult!!!) so I jumped at the chance to find a new book.

Actually, having just read The Vampire Lestat for a Fantasy Literature class, I will grudgingly agree that there are a lot of similarities. To be honest I was a little disappointed with Rice's work, though one book alone is a bit hard to judge by. Whether I wanted to or not I kept comparing to Twilight. But there are some rather unfortunate similarities--All Vampires Are Gorgeous, glittery fingernails, let's not kill nice humans/spend time with them/get to know them/creepily love them.

But despite all that I will agree that Rice is FANTASTIC at writing horror--there were some truly spine-chilling moments in Lestat. Whereas in Twilight and its subsequent volumes, Meyers obviously tries very hard to create moments of suspense and fear and rapidly approaching battle, and fails MISERABLY. I pretty much lol'd at book 4's conclusion. All the weeks of teaching everybody how to fight, gathering a horde of vampires together for a huge-ass vampire battle, and then...Bella's powers are suddenly over 9,000 all at once, and they talk it out. WUT.

~VelkynKarma

[Vephriel]

I suppose I can vaguely see similarities, but I've been a fan of Anne Rice for years and even just jokingly comparing her work to Stephanie Meyer's.....it hurts.

I'll allow that they're more or less in the same genre, but after that I really can't begin to compare.

Also, was The Vampire Lestat the first and only book of the Chronicles that you read? I highly suggest reading them in order, otherwise it's just not the same. Interview With The Vampire is the first in the series and The Vampire Lestat would have been much better had you read that first. Just my opinion though, which is admittedly biased as they're some of my favourite novels. ^^