Opinions needed on a Anime im starting to write

[Redith]

Id like your guys opinion and if it sounds interesting based on this teaser

The agency known to the Magi world as Defenceive, Enforcent of Magical Laws (DEML) called their meeting to order. The law enforcement group composed primarely of male Magi, Ranged from races of human to elven. All of them experinced combat magic users.
"Come to order Guardians, Come to order. We have a problem to discuss. Aparently there have been several attacks on girls in the Boraynes school for girls. The magical primary has suffered several random attacks from some who appear to have blood drained, some are just in strange trances. Now a girl has died. We need undercover Guardians In there today."
"Rodger that" said one of the members."What teachers will we be replacing."
"The teachers are not replacible." Said the headmaster.
"Then what? Security? Headmasters? You put us as janitors and I will kill you."
"No no no nothing like that. But one question. How good are you guys at transfiguration?"
"Were good but why would.."
"Wait" said another of the members. "Did you say girls school?"
"Girls primary school. girls between the ages of 12 to 15. Congrats you guys have just became students there."

[Rottingham]

Heh, I like it! It has so many stories and idea that could branch off of it! A guy disguised as a girl liking a girl at the school, a guy disguised as a girl trying not to be figured out... I think it could work

[Redith]

Heh, I like it! It has so many stories and idea that could branch off of it! A guy disguised as a girl liking a girl at the school, a guy disguised as a girl trying not to be figured out... I think it could work

And did you noticed there were multiple problems? Blood drained, Trances, Death. They are not all connected lmao

[Ket Shi]

What do you mean by an ""anime"? How are you planning to do it -- visual novel form, story form, etc? Any path you'll choose to make a fully-rendered product will be difficult, but writing is the easiest path.

The basic concept for the story sounds fine, but the delivery needs work. There's many spelling errors, the delivery is kind of dry and without detail. There's little description to give it flavor or background.

[cowmuflage]

By anime you mean an animation right? of corse you do as thats what an anime is. it's allright you would need to do some things tho. My group project at animation school this term was to make a 30 sec long film and I can tell you some things you NEED to do
A) fill out the plot.
B) Give disciptions for all the main people in it.
C) expand on where it's all happening etc.
D) what style the shows going to be in and who its made for.

Then comes all the concepts and stuff. If your going to be trying to get this made by a studio a background in some form of screen writeing would help. Allso theres no point in trying to make this a japanese made cartoon if your white. Just trust me on that.

Screen writeings a harsh thing to get into don't be shocked if no one takes it. Sorry to be mean but its the truth.

[Ryno]

Id like your guys opinion and if it sounds interesting based on this teaser

It sounds like an anime to me. The main bits are there, a lot of room to smooth things over and tweak it of course. Thumbs up!

[Worba]

It sounds interesting. Maybe not for everybody, but at least it has kind of a niche that can set it apart from alot of other stuff.

Keep on developing this. Even if it ultimately doesn't get accepted by a studio (or even submitted), it's always fun to come up with new ideas.

[Rottingham]

Are we gunna be able to see it when it's done? I've been waiting a while for you to respond to this lol

[Redith]

Are we gunna be able to see it when it's done? I've been waiting a while for you to respond to this lol

Lol sure. hell im open to help