Looking into Moving Out

[Chimera]

The future looks grim financially with my stepdad and he's warned that he may not be able to sustain himself through the summer let alone the winter if the weather keeps being this drab and thus keeping clients from wanting him to work. He's a diabetic as well so he pays several hundred dollars for medication since he cant access free medical due to his wages. Even though he was on Unemployment Insurance he cant apply for Low Income or free medical since the money he got from UI counts towards earned wages. Currently we are in the position where we can either a) afford the rent but no medication for his diabetes, or b) afford his medication but not the rent.

Due to his deteriorating health his doctor has him spending a few hundred more dollars on higher doses of medication as well as other medication for other health complications he has developed. For i believe its 3 months worth of all medication, he's paying $700-$900 depending on if he buy's strips for testing his blood sugars or not. If we were to run our bank accounts dry, we would only survive till the end of August at most. Even if we do survive the summer, we will not survive the winter and i will be forced to find a new place to live since my bank account alone will only sustain us for two months worth of bills and rent. For the both of us, i need to take it upon myself to find a new place to live where work is available or we will end up homeless.

Ive thought of getting a place of my own many times and my bf 'Ronyo' (my nickname to him, since he liked that everyone knew me by the name 'rusco' rather then my real name. Infact i dont even think everyone in his family even knows my real name LOL) is supporting my desire to move out and we have agree'd to look for a place together. I however havent actively pursued such a thing till now since my situtation was never as dire as it is now.

So far ive compiled what he and his mom spend in bills to live comfortably. This does not include consumable necessities, food, pets, luxuries aside from internet/cable/cellphones. Its the base total for: Rent, Water, Heat, Hydro, Cable, Internet, Home Phone, his Cellphone. I also know how much he makes a month at his full time job and he is a senior member there who is well trusted by the manager so he definitely has no worries about finding himself without work.

I will be finding out how much stepdad pays for the same things i mentioned that keep this house running so i can have a reasonably accurate average estimate of budget. I will be compiling food budget according to the consumption of food and consumable necessities by Ronyo, myself, and our pets (3 cats and 1 rat total) by going to different grocery stores and pricing them out from the shelves themselves since Ronyo and I eat and consume different items then our parents and because the bills are in different store names and locations. I will be including the consumption of everything the pets take in in this budget. I will be adding an extra couple hundred to the total budget as well incase a pet falls ill and requires vet attention. I do not want to find ourselves without money and sick animals.

I have been looking at places on craigslist that are in the same general location as Ronyo and im finding many places that already have all utilities included in the rent. One particular place which is FULLY furnished (every room has all furniture and appliances for a desired living experience), includes all utilities in the rent, has a backyard, 2 bedrooms, enormous livingroom, a full bathroom, kitchen, laundry room (its 1150 square feet and ground level) is going for $1200 a month. The landlord wrote that it is close to the main mall within Ronyo's town which means its close to his work, close to transit, close to potential work for myself, and close to his friends.

There is no catch to this place that is of any surprise. The landlord is merely asking for credit check, reference, and that we commit to living in the house for a minimum of one year. Obviously of course the house probably wont be available by the time I get myself put together and a reliable job out in Ronyo's town but I will definitely be stalking craigs list during the long and tedious struggle that is I trying to find work. Ronyo already has experience dealing with bills and when it really counts, i can really put my mind to budgeting money and have successfully done so in the past. Im also not afraid to take on jobs that I would never normally consider for the sake of making an earning.

Ronyo's mom is an accountant so she can do amazing wonders for us in terms of teaching us how to approach the decision, what we need to consider, what we need to look at, what we can expect, what to look for when we are scouting and what questions we should be asking as well as what we need to be saving in terms of bills and receipts for taxes and how we should be organizing them for when tax season arises each year. Essentially she's our little financial handywoman. The only thing right now that im not really sure about is how the hell Ronyo and i are gonna pack our stuff and get it to our new home, when we finally find it.

I live by vehicle about 45min away from him so its not like we can make several trips and if the place we move into is fully furnished, we will need to add an extra expense for a locker to store the majority of our stuff in, and if its not furnished, we need to find out what is missing from the house that we need to purchase, since i dont have any non-bedroom furniture to call my own. Nor does Ronyo. We would need to furnish whatever doesnt have something. We could be looking at a few thousand dollars right off the bat to furnish the kitchen, diningroom, livingroom, and bathroom.

We also would need to find out how much it would be for manual labour if we cant get friends to help us move things. We dont exactly have stromgarm friends or family that can carry furniture that cannot be dismantled or boxes that are of exceptional weight. Ive only just recieved the news that I may need to find another place to go today so ive only just began seriously looking into the matter and thus i have a lot of research to do yet.

Im not posting this to tell you guys of my situation since this would belong in the rant thread if i was merely just throwing it out there, im actually really hoping you guys could lend any advice on how to approach this whole situation. Im sorry but family is not an option in this. I have spoken to family in the past and the demands from each of them are unreasonable and I will not approach them with this issue unless i had exerted all possible options out of this predicament im in and was literally days from becoming truly homeless.

Anyways, any and all suggestions, advice, questions in regards to me moving out to strike it on my own with Ronyo are greatly appreciated. And for those who are questioning why I, at 20 n a half am jumping into what could be considered the next step in commitment to my bf, Ronyo and i have been together for almost 3 years now and like any relationship we have had ups and downs but we have a very strong relationship right now and if I didnt feel confident in the decision to include him in this, i would be inquiring into one of the roommate options i found while looking for two bedroom houses/apartments that i initially looked up.

My first idea was to see if i could get a one bedroom to myself but it proved cheaper to find a place with a roommate but i talked it over with Ronyo instead after exausting craigslist and he feels comfortable in sharing a living space with me that doesnt include parents. Obviously im sure it was a bit surprising to him even though ive talked over with him many times before about the idea of moving in together and that he needs time to seriously think it over as well since i was the one to invite him in this journey i am partaking in but I dont doubt that he wont think any different about the situation and would proceed with me willingly and not because he would feel guilty if he declined.

Im going to pursue the idea with him more to really figure out if he's agreeing cause he wants to or if he just doesnt want to say no since i dont want him doing something he doesnt want to do for my sake and reinforce that irregardless of his decision to move in or not, our relationship wont change in any negative way. Its a pretty big undertaking and you cant expect people to dive in head first right? If he does decline, it will just mean that hes not quite ready yet.

Whew, okay lol, got that all out. I feel better now.

Oh yea and someone on magistream that gave me a little advice told me i can find great 2nd hand furniture.. so if we did have to furnish, we could cut the cost into a third of what we would pay for shop price. But if furnishing is required, i will be comparing prices and quality for sure.

[cowmuflage]

It would be cheaper to find flatmates IMO. Means less you'd have to spend on everything. I'm just coming from a point where I've seen people I know who have been with each other for years like your self (as in only one has a job) moving in and struggleing to get everything paid and the fact relationships don't allways last no matter how long your with said lover but if your in a flat with other people it can be easyer to get things done.

EDIT: don't take that as me saying you will split up or anything I just allways think of the worst things :/ things that might happen if you will. or what not.

[Chimera]

I dont particularly like the idea of moving in with a stranger which is why i decided to ask Ronyo rather then plain out say that im gonna find a place in the same neighborhood to live and i'd rather spend the extra little bit to stay with him opposed to someone that might start out friendly that turns into the total opposite of what i wanted in a roomie or whatever.. i feel extremely akward being in other peoples places and it wouldnt exactly feel like home with all their stuff taking up the house and my stuff taking up just my room. But im only on step number 1/2 out of god knows how many steps XD And the place i mentioned is an actual house not an apartment so its quite different in pricing :3 I just really really love it XD

As for the whole 'it never lasts' issue with the fact Ronyo and i are dating, i dooooo know that living together could prove a bad idea since we'd be seeing eachother everyday or something could happen that could break the relationship but i dont feel comfortable moving in with anyone else, i considered the option and exausted craigslist cause i didnt want Ronyo to feel uncomfortable and cause i knew it would be cheaper. I did look into them before asking him but i would much rather gain more confidence living on my own before pursuing a flatmate. Unless of course i had to move in with one as a desperate measure. It would be the step i would take before the step of moving in with a family member.

This is the house i was mentioning via the front yard (i think?). Im gonna watch craigslist for if any apartments arise but so far its all just houses that are accepting pets. Not many people are willing to rent to pet owners so its very slim pickings :/

[cowmuflage]

When I said get a flatmate I did mean with your lover XD I ment It would be cheaper for both of you. More so seeing as you don't have a job atm.

[Chimera]

OOOH LOL ok XD Well, i'll be honest, the people who were looking for roomies were only asking anywhere from $350-$600 but the pictures which is a huuge difference, i guess i got the impression you meant a random person instead from what i discovered when i was hunting. I will definitely be getting a job before i move, i can sleep over at his place on days i work and pay my way around the house since i feel absolutely awful if i dont do something to repay them for feeding me when i visit (i help do housework as my thanks when i visit) until i feel that i can hold the job down and then start trying to untangle the mess that having a job has gotten me into so i can get the time to get our moving plans straightened out and in effect.

I hate feeling like a parasite, i havent worked in two years and everyday i wish to hell i could so i could help my stepdad out, so i would definitely be sharing the burden with Ronyo even if it meant my entire months wages paid at most my half of the expenses. I dont forsee moving for a couple months unfortunately so its very doubtful i'll get the sexy house i posted the pic of (its so big inside from the pictures 8D) but we'll find something equally awesome im sure <3 it will need enough room to house us all tho o.o two crazy energetic cats, two full grown people, one super fat lazy cat.. well, she'd do well in a one bedroom with her energy levels rofl..

*saw the edit* Oh yea no i definitely didnt take your comment about the possibility of splitting apart wrong, ive become cautious about relationships after the ones i had in highschool. I'll hightail it out of there if we cant work it out like civilized beings XD i dont want to be around such stress. But he isnt needy, he gives me space, he gives me cuddles when i need, he treats me like a princess but of course we know eachothers boundries, and having a big place will help make the whole situation less suffocation inducing.. or something like that..

[cowmuflage]

I useally say flatmates as more people = less money you need to pay.

[Chimera]

Ahhha ^^ Yea i looked at one bedrooms for singles thinking it'd be cheap but NUUUUUPE D: They're all horribly expensive ._.

[Miyon]

You don't happen to have any friends that are also couples? I would likely never survive in such a situation, but four people renting a house or the likes together could be cheaper, not sure.

[Chimera]

No one that's not a dickwad thats old enough to live on their own XD The few that are our age and not in their last couple years of highschool are two guys by the name of Devon and Michael. Both are not people that either Ronyo or I could deal with for more then a few hours unless some hardcore shooting games were involved. I dont do hardcore shooting games so i'd be anti-social on my computer everyday while they burn the house down like derps (you dont want to know the permanent destruction that has been done to Ronyo's house from flamethrowers made from Axe spray and the really long nozzle lighters.... just.. yea...)

[Miyon]

Discard that idea then xD They sound horrible to deal with..

[Chimera]

Lol yeeeeeep, there are a few friends i wouldnt mind having move in with us but i dont know some of them enough to really know if that'd be a good idea and others are either graduating this year or dont have plans/means to strike it on their own. I'd snatch up my 'little brother' Dylan in a heartbeat and also my friend/'daughter' (our cosplay family. Apparently Ronyo and i in the group raised 'daughter' Sammy, Pedo Bear, and Molesting Snake o_O) but Dylan is more then happy to stay at home (hes not mature enough imo yet for such a thing, he's better off pursuing post education first i think. And Sammy is only in grd 10-11 i think).

[Miyon]

Ah, that sounds like a good group.. xD I hope you find a solution to your problems though. We barely had any money last year, me and my bf, and we were behind on rent aswell, since our only income was the scholarship. It's near impossible to get a job in our city.

[Chimera]

Thank you <3 Im really hoping things go as planned, theres absolutely no work in my town either, its all farmland and an airport beside us. Transit isnt exactly favorable going westbound either where all the hustle and bustle is. If i can move to Richmond well, i can get to Vancouver in like 20min via the Canada Line and i can be at Metrotown in Burnaby in 40-45min. Theres a big mall and lots of smaller malls where Ronyo lives and Metro Vancouver has a shit ton of places, plus Metrotown is the biggest mall in the lower mainland, and Vancouver, well, its Vancouver XD there shouldnt be much trouble at all if i move to Richmond since i'll have acces to all of major civilized life there, Burnaby, New West, and Vancouver. Tie that in with Craigslist to find people who are asking online and taduuummm!

Coquitlam, Pitt Meadows, Surrey, Langley, they all suck. They're the places you pass on your way to Hope and Kelowna and Penticton for summer vacation.

[CrystalKitten]

All I can say is that moving out can be ROUGH. There will be costs you won't expect, and once you tally up what you THINK you'll spend, add a little bit more than that, just to make sure. Also, you already mentioned the credit check... IF you are signing the lease as well, and you haven't held a long term job, or don't have a credit card or bills to pay that will boost your credit, you MIGHT have a hard time finding a place. I've had that issue in the past, and without those things, you MIGHT need a co-signer that DOES have a stable job, and good credit rating. Especially if you're renting a "legal" apartment/house from a "real" landlord, and ESPECIALLY if you're young (people aren't supposed to be biased, but they WILL be, I found especially being younger, or looking young, landlords will assume that you are inexperienced and don't know your rights, can't be responsible to pay the bills or not burn down the house with scented candles... etc).

Not sure what areas you have access too, but if you live near any universities or colleges, I would suggest looking for a student house. Living with strangers can be rough, and when I first started looking for a place when I moved last year it was definitely terrified about the idea. But the thing is.. you don't have to LIKE them, or be friends with them. You just have to be able to live with them. What I did was I went to meet them to see the place.. and then I ALSO asked to go out to lunch with them, just to talk and make sure we didn't absolutely hate each other, and that we weren't going to be mortal enemies.

I'll also mention that as far as furnishings go... you don't NEED much. Bed. Dresser IF there's no closet (but I've found especially if you live near any universities, I found an extra dresser that I needed for $40.. and that was WITH an extra $20 for the guy to deliver it for me). 1-2 pots. 1 pan. baking sheet or something would probably be good too. 1 cup, plate, bowl, fork, knife, spoon per person living there. Maybe a few cooking utensiles, but you can get REALLY cheap ones, often at the dollar store or something. IF you have a desktop computer.. a desk + chair would also be nice, probably, but for a laptop.. all you'd need is a cushion if you don't wanna just sit on your bed, heh. Then a few other things like cleaning supplies etc could be bought as needed when you've got the funds.

As an example to how little you need.. I once moved into a place and we couldn't get our furniture for a could of weeks, if not a full month. And we had pretty much what I listed above.. maybe not even that, and we did just fine.

[cowmuflage]

Don't you need to be a student to go into a student house?

[CrystalKitten]

Residence, yes. If you're just moving into a house that's being rented by a bunch of students, no. A LOT of students don't actually live in residence, they tend to rent houses as groups (or their parents will buy a house, and they'll live in it, and fill the rest of the rooms with their friends, or random students). Pretty much it's just renting with a bunch of random room mates, and yes.. if you pick the wrong one, you can end up in a party house. But they aren't all that bad. Mine is that way sometimes, but only very VERY rarely during the school year (I'm talking maybe 2 or 3 times this year, heh). As I said, I'd suggest meeting the room mates for lunch or something to make sure you won't want to immediately tear their heads off. There ARE responsible, quiet students, heh. Another benefit of this is they often (here at least) come all inclusive, sometimes even with internet and cable, and you'll have anywhere from 3-5 people sharing the costs of anything that isn't included, cleaning supplies, household consumables, etc.

[cowmuflage]

Nothing wrong with a good party once in a while

[Chimera]

Ronyo has been working at his current job for a couple years before he got work at a different place but then when they changed management and laid off a bunch of people, he was immediately hired back by his old place which he has currently worked at for 2 years now (maybe 4-5 years total) and he pays his mom rent each month as well as his own cellphone and he buys a lot of stuff online so he gets credit card bills via that way in which he pays off. Which is why im not too worried about the credit score :] It was a scary word at first since i know i dont have a way of bumping it up aside from my own credit card but i use paypal via debit instead if i was to ever buy something online (i dont know if that counts towards credit score in the least).

I'll definitely be adding a few hundred overtop of the total monthly budget, mostly for the cats, but since i'll be having it labelled under 'total monthly' it should make sure we're able to cover whatever secret costs might suddenly arise. Ronyo makes a few hundred more a month then the rent at the house ive been mentioning and if i can make a little more then my half of the total expenses at least, we should be able to keep ourselves debt free unless something happens and one of us finds ourselves out of work.

Ive inherited a lot of stuff from when my mom passed away but my dad owns it all now since i disowned much of the house furniture, not being able to get ourselves a locker to store it in and nowhere to put it and i doubt i'll get more then a piece or two back but i was digging in the back room of my apartment and i have a full kitchen set (plates, bowls, glasses, mugs, cutlery, pots, knives, pans, her old kitchen decor, a bunch of appliances) and the diningroom tables and chairs here are mine as well but i dont know if stepdad would need them or not, i dont want to take anything that would leave him without. Both Ronyo and i have full bedroom sets (dressers, bookshelves, computer desks, TV's) so bedroom isnt at all an issue.

We -might- end up with Ronyo's couch and possibly the big livingroom table that sits with it, but we'd have to find out exactly what Ronyo would be given if he was to move out since we dont really know what kind of plans his mom has in mind for when the day comes that he finds elsewhere to live.. but yea, after finding the kitchen set, all we really need for furnishing is some livingroom and diningroom stuff and bathroom. If we dont get to take any of the currently used furniture at either of our places that is.

There is a university right beside Ronyo's house called Kwantlen but i have pets, a rat and a very hyperactive and crybaby kitten so its slim pickings to begin with just looking for places, and if i was to look for a place as a student, well, ive already looked at all the ones that say 'ideal for students' (rents only like 350-480 at most in those places) were all no pets allowed. Maybe only one or two places that were going for $500+ said pets were ok but again, the rat, and they might not be expecting a kitten but thinking of full grown cats that have mellowed out more then what Janie is. The fact Janie shreds paper all over the house and chews shoes might be a turn off as well

Im hoping Ronyo's references and credit checks from his cellphone company and credit card company is good enough for land lords to look past our age, i really hate people that are biased like that. Im gonna scout out apartments too since, as much as i love backyards, i dont want the cats to get outside. My older cat Lucky has gone missing a few times when he got lost in our old neighborhood in Burnaby (i always found him a day later under someones ground floor balcony or inside it) and also nearly lost an eye to a Maine Coon that someone released in a adjacent neighborhood. He couldnt defend himself cause he was declawed by my mom but dad liked having the apartment door open all the time during the summer so we'd have cats eating his food and he going out and getting lost all the time. None of our cats are declawed currently but they arent cowards and will actively explore and find a way to wiggle past obstacles and they could easily figure out how to get themselves into the neighborhood.

Its good anyways, i dont mind apartments so long as they're big enough and it'll keep the cats safe while, usually, costing less then a house. Some i looked at cost around $955-1000 which is a big difference with us new to the concept. Im not looking for a temporary place, i dont want to move into someone elses place and live with them unless i dont have any other choice cause im freaked out by moving. Ive moved half a dozen times in childhood and i dont like the impact its left on me, how i lost everyone i knew and how alien even old and once familiar neighborhoods feel. I dont want to live on one side of Richmond for a couple years and then move to another part for a couple years and then maybe have to again for a couple years..

That and cause it doesnt feel like -my- home when i live with people that arent family and own the place and have their stuff all over it.. it just doesnt feel right. Even at Ronyo's, cause my stuff isnt equally around the house as theirs is, i feel alien, i feel like a guest, i feel like i can only do so much while they get to do whatever they want. Its not the case i can assure you, they give me free reign but its just how i feel in a setting that im not used to. And its something i never get over either. I have just as much stuff in my stepmom's house as she and my dad did, and it was never home. I never called it home, i never felt home.

I hid in my room everyday and only ever went downstairs to eat, drink, or leave. It was a horrible experience despite how amazing the house is and the fact we did get a backyard and a big garage and an enormous flatscreen tv and that i had free reign. I could only stand being there for a few months. From when i graduated highschool (late June) to when i turned 18 (November) i lived there and the very day i turned 18, i moved out to live with stepdad. I wanted out so bad i couldnt even wait a day longer and spent what would of been a birthday party moving all my crap out of their house and into my stepdads. I'd only seriously consider having someone im meeting for the first time as a roommate if it was the last step before being forced to move in with family lest i find myself without a roof.

Craigslist is always updating and this wont happen for a while let, a few months at minimum, i need to make sure whatever job i get i can hold down before i move, i dont want to move and then look for work cause that would be disasterous. Hopefully we'll find a pet friendly large apartment within range of Ronyo's work, transit is so welcoming there that i would have absolutely no trouble commuting anywhere.

Im not putting down peoples advice to find a cheaper place via living with a random roomie, the whole concept is just really scary and stressful. Even with people i know, if i move into someone elses house that they are already established in, its extremely uncomfortable and very depressing and stressful. I cannot bear with any sanity, living with someone in a place they technically 'own'.

[cowmuflage]

I understand why people are biased to younger people as alot think they know what they are doing but don't. That whole "I'm young so I know more than you old man" thing. Teenageness I guess

[Chimera]

I understand why people are biased to younger people as alot think they know what they are doing but don't. That whole "I'm young so I know more than you old man" thing. Teenageness I guess

Lol yea, but im a quiet person, like, you cant hear me walk behind you. I step so lightly and i practically never talk and im always dodging people and slipping around them to get by and i dont listen to music loudly, nor do i like to party very much (if i do i never really party for very long). At most in terms of noise level, it would be Ronyo and his friends playing something like Call of Duty or Halo, they are quite obnoxious when they are playing but luckily they dont go to eachothers houses often so its not like it'll be a routine thing.

Neither of us have any akward piercings (he has none, i have my ear lobes pierced like a 'normal' person) and neither of us have tattoo's, nor do we dress bizzare on a day to day basis and i at least am very into looking my best for things.. we dont look like party types or less savory folk that you wouldnt want in a neighborhood so hopefully we'll make a good impression on those we meet.