Rant Thread

[CrystalKitten]

Exam in under 2 hours.. have to leave in about 1 hour.. I don't want to go... I feel like I'm going to be sick (technically... if I don't even write the exam I still get a 60 in the class... so it's not even that much pressure)... And I REALLY don't want to go sit in a room full of people right now...

[cowmuflage]

So I got kicked for A) Not doing enough DPS...... As heals and B) Not healing the hunters pet O.o

But thats not why I'm here that shit happens all the time what I am here for is Lucy is sick. Last few days she's be rufuseing to eat and puking alot she was due for her vaccination yesterday so we took her to the vet we knew she would not get those thats fine the vet said she will do it next week when she gets her stiches out. The vet said it's most likely the deworming pill we gave both of them on wensday. She said it's quite common for them to get upset tummys if they have a big enough worm investation (I did find like 4 near her bum fur) She gave her a shot of anitbiotics and said give her some in pill form today but if she pukes again take her back and they will keep her over night and force feed her.


Thing is she was acting better last night after the vet we gave her some of the chicken trimmings off our dinner to make her eat something and she did but today we found some puke it's most likely hers we did give some to Minnie but she has been perfectly fine. We will give her a pill this moruning and wait till lunch time before we take her to see if she eats or not (it's 8:00 in the mourning now and thank god the vets open on a saterday!)

We have only had them for just over a week I can't handle looseing another cat so soon.

[Worba]

It sounds like the vet is on top of it - best wishes for a speedy recovery though & hope your kitty feels better soon!

[CrystalKitten]

Exams are over until my deferred ones... I should be feeling better... but I'm not... I don't want to be alone right now... I want to be.. I dunno.. hanging out with people that I like celebrating the fact that I'm done with exams for 2 months or so... But I literally have like.. 2 friends and no money...

To top it off.. One thought keeps running through my head, playing over and over and over... and it's NOT a good thought. In fact.. it MAY be driving me fucking insane... I've run out of things to watch... so I have no idea what to do..

(Any ideas on shows? Something on Canada netflix would be cool, then I could watch it on the tv.. Recently watched all of: breakout kings, leverage, stargate sg1, damages... sure there's more, sister keeps trying to get me to watch Prison Break, but not sure I'm in the mood for that kind of show.... I'm also caught up on CSI, Castle, Criminal Minds, Grey's, Once upon a time... again.. I'm sure there's more.. All I've been doing the last few days is watching tv shows.. It's the only thing I've found that consistently makes the pain stop. Even gaming and reading haven't been helping too much...)

[Vephriel]

I've been watching Supernatural lately, if that type of show appeals to you.


My rant, I just did something incredibly stupid without thinking. I have a jalapeno and cheddar sandwich. I was pulling off a few of the big jalapenos, and then my eye itched and without thinking I rubbed it out of habit.

Yeeeahh....

About 10 minutes later it finally stopped stinging, but my one eye just has tears streaming from it.

[cowmuflage]

It sounds like the vet is on top of it - best wishes for a speedy recovery though & hope your kitty feels better soon!

Thanks She ate a bit about an hour ago and mum got some speical cat food from the vet that is for pets who've just had surgery but it's made to be easy to digest and eat so we will give her that tonight. Hopefully she keeps it down.

[Silivren]

/rant on

Ok, so you dont like how some races in Skyrim are attractive for females? Fine. Dont try to beat it into my head that I'M wrong for making a pretty orc female. Yes shes sexy and you know what? SHES CURVY. I dont care if you have a problem that they look like they're wearing lip gloss. Who.Cares. Bottom line, the races look fine. If I tell you that you are welcome to you're opinion but I disagree do not tell me that I'M WRONG, its my character not yours. So sexy orc powers activate.

/rant off

/zoom! <.<

[CrystalKitten]

I fucking hate myself right now. I'm SO angry at myself. ALL I want is to hang out with people I like, and feel comfortable around.. but there's not many of them... And I feel like I'm pushing them away because of my depression... Like my attempts to TRY and stay connected are just.. pushing them away.. and now they don't want to be my friends or hang out with me anymore... The meds aren't helping me stay asleep.. not at ALL. Nobody wants to hang out with me or do anything with me, so I can't even celebrate the end of the semester. The image of my throat being slit (not necessarily by myself) keeps replaying over and over in my head for the last 2 days... It's driving me FUCKING CRAZY. I don't know if I can take this any more... and I'm trying to hint that to my few friends.. because I don't WANT to scare them or push them away by telling them I'm right on the edge... Only one even has ANY idea what so ever how bad I am right now, and he doesn't even understand it. I DON'T want to be alone right now.. I don't feel SAFE being alone by myself at the moment... But I don't feel like I can say that to my one friend that actually knows what's going on right now...nobody deserves to have that put on them... And so I put it all on myself.. I can feel myself cracking... I'm tired of this... I don't want to do this any more... I know there's crisis lines.. but honestly.. talking to a stranger who "has" to listen to me and can't do ANYTHING to try and help other than patronizing "feel good" messages like "it'll get better" just makes me feel worse.. I need people that ACTUALLY know and care about me to say those things... I NEED to not be alone right now. I don't know what to DO! NOTHING helps. NOTHING. Even things I shouldn't be doing don't help...

[Turgus]

I do not know what you are going through, but even though I do not know you personally, or really even here on the message board, you are appreciated and have value here. You have posted a ton more here than I have, and contributed to and helped shape the community here.
I can share a bit of what I have found by personal experience: depression isn't something you just snap out of, it take time and sometimes some medication. Its not your fault, sometimes it just happens and we need a bit of help to get out.

So what you are going through is nothing to be ashamed of it happens to most everyone and you are appreciated here.
In short: Its ok


I hope that helps.

[CrystalKitten]

I do not know what you are going through, but even though I do not know you personally, or really even here on the message board, you are appreciated and have value here. You have posted a ton more here than I have, and contributed to and helped shape the community here.
I can share a bit of what I have found by personal experience: depression isn't something you just snap out of, it take time and sometimes some medication. Its not your fault, sometimes it just happens and we need a bit of help to get out.

So what you are going through is nothing to be ashamed of it happens to most everyone and you are appreciated here.
In short: Its ok


I hope that helps.

I know you're trying to help... Thanks... But.. it's not the same. This isn't the first time I've been through really bad depression. So it's not a new thing. Doesn't mean it doesn't scare me. Doesn't mean that I don't feel like if something DID happen (in any way.. because face it.. when I get like this I just don't give a shit about anything.. it's one reason I don't cook or anything when I'm REALLY bad..) nobody would know for days.. or maybe even weeks, because nobody who's actually in my life seems to care. Doesn't mean that I'm okay being alone and having to push through this without any friends to distract me. That's all I need... Distraction... People around me keeping me from thinking about how I want to die.. keeping the disturbing thoughts from running through my head... Helping me forget that I'm so depressed the mere thought of food makes me nauseous so I can actually EAT and get some of those nutrients needed to MAKE the necessary mood hormones... But I don't have that. Instead I'm alone, feeling like people are avoiding me. It makes me feel worse.

I know that there's a few people on here that appreciate me. There's a few that have messaged me, and let me do more specific venting/ranting.. I have the same on MSN/skype/gtalk... The problem is it's NOT the same. It's ALMOST like the empty words of those crisis hotlines. I say almost because at least those people on here could be considered friends to some extent. But when they live across the country/world... they can SAY anything they'd like.. "I'd come hang out with you if I could!" etc etc... but that's said knowing that it's not possible to do... And while a part of me that's buried deep down where I'm NOT depressed know that that doesn't make what they're saying untrue.. The rest of me thinks they might just be saying it because they know they won't have to follow through. (Not saying that I don't appreciate those of you who have made such an offer... just explaining why it doesn't offer MUCH comfort...).

I just want to hang out with my friends But I feel like I'm pushing them away because they just don't understand this... and I don't know what to do about it. I really want to find something to watch Something on netflix.ca so I can have my laptop free for drawing... Something that doesn't require a lot of attention.. but isn't overly boring at the same time.. I'm thinking I might draw something cathartic.. possibly something to represent me doing.. things that I want, but can't do to myself..

[Makoes]

I forgot how offensive my family is. I've gotten so use to my guy's family and how helpful and agreeable they are.
My sister just moved into the apartment complex above ours, they didnt have a sitter so I offered to watch thier 4.5yr old during the week when they worked. she drops him off at 8:20am (well earlier then I am use to getting up) and picks him up between 5-6pm. Thats 3-4 days a week.
In return they offered to watch our 2yr old on weekends when our shifts overlap, usually we will be dropping her off at 1pm and picking her up at 10:30-ish, 2 days a week. (sometimes shorter when my guy works a 10-730 and I work 145-1015)

Now whats really got me offeneded is that some days our kid will need a bath before she goes to bed, when I brought that up to my sister her response was "No, I already have my own kid to wash, you can bathe yours."

really? really? ....Any time she goes over to her grandma's or grandpas and needs a bath they do it no problem, when some of my friends watch her, and she needs a bath, no problem, but ask my own blood family and its "NO." WTH...I am sacrificing so much of my time and energy for them, to make things easier for them and they can't even give her a bath?

I will be talking to her later about this...because...really...come on, your an adult, act like one. be responsible!

[cowmuflage]

It sounds like the vet is on top of it - best wishes for a speedy recovery though & hope your kitty feels better soon!

Thanks She ate a bit about an hour ago and mum got some speical cat food from the vet that is for pets who've just had surgery but it's made to be easy to digest and eat so we will give her that tonight. Hopefully she keeps it down.

Lucy seems to be eating alot as of right now. I got up like half and hour ago and she was eating and she still was after I came out of the shower. But someone puked and I don't know who it was. :/

[CrystalKitten]

I may have just lost one of my only friends... again. Seriously.. I should just stop trying. I just give up... fuck life...

[Chimera]

Not going to fan expo next year.. sore, tired, cranky, bitchy, and there was absolutely nothing to do except look at merchandise and pay for photos and autographs from celebrities. Yes i got to see Adam West, but no way in hell am i paying $60 for an autograph or $100 for a picture. Couldnt even just take a quick snapshot from a distance away, everyone who tried was stopped.

[cowmuflage]

I want to buy the Tick on DVD and so I've been looking around and found out the US version of the dvd is cheaper and I nearly got it but then I found out the US dvd has been cut for US TV and has atleast 2 epps missing! So I now ahve to find someplace that sells the UK dvd that's uncut and has all the epps. :/

[CrystalKitten]

Thought I was feeling better.. but now I'm not.. I seriously need.. something right now, but I don't know what it is. I feel like I'm missing that one piece that will finally kick me back on track. I mean.. for a bit.. I was actually feeling a LOT better. Not just a little better.. Not all better.. but maybe like i was starting to pull out of this... But now it's just as bad as it was before.

[Bulletdance]

Ug the illness I have can cause temporary moments of what is called "fibro fog" or a moment of utter stupidness for lack of a better term. It's always been little thigns before, putting the milk in the cabinet and not the frig. Going in to a room and forgetting why. Normally it's more hilarious than dangerous, but I'm starting to forget where I'm going while driving. Today I caught myself spacing out all the time too unable to focus. It's really starting to bother me and make me mad too because I don't understand it. Evertime I think I do it changes. And they all say worrying about it makes it worse. I'd like to meet the person who couldn't worry about it. Stupid disease,but I know there are people a lot worse off I guess sometime I just get pissed off about this sickness.

[Worba]

Over an hour in queue for my dungeon (as tank, natch), only to have end boss drop 2nds and 3rds of crap no one needs or wants, instead of the thing I've been grinding a week for (with XP lock on so I can still make it into the random queue).

[cowmuflage]

Sorry lady but the rules say unless your dog is a guide dog or one in training it has to be tied outside while you come into the doctors office it says so on the door. Read sheesh!

[Atalanta]

I hate change so much. Really fucking hate it. I can't adjust to it at all whether it's a good or bad change, big or small.

Also wish I could have a break from myself sometimes.