Bipolar

[AdamSavage]

I'm just wondering, if anyone here would know when someone who is Bi Polar isn't taking there meds. I have Roommate who is bi polar, and lately he is acting completely irrationally. He has a printer on the network in the house that I sometimes use to print. I've been using the printer for about 5 years and suddenly he wants compensation for replacing the toner when it eventually runs out.. Now I've maybe printed off 100-150 pages over the course of 5 years. There was no mention of cost, it was assumed I wouldn't have to help pay for new toner. Then about a couple weeks ago, he flipped out because someone left bread tags on the counter.. Yet he leaves dirty dishes all over the house, the best was when he had the nerve to flip on me for asking why his underwear was lying on one of his tables.. I could understand kinda, if this was his room he sleeps in. However it's not. It's his computer/work room that everyone comes into, so in a sense it's a open area...

The number one thing that just blew my mind, was when he told me that it was only logical to simply forget about my daughter.(I don't get to see her, and it's a long story) Pretty much pretend she doesn't exist. It was his solution to me dealing with not seeing her, on a daily basis. I couldn't believe it, my mind was blown.. I still don't understand to this day, the thought process that went on inside his head.

So I don't know if he is going through a episode or what's going on.

Suggestions ?

[Bonita]

3 of my cousins and my grandmother on my moms side are bipolar. If they don't take their meds they drastically change. If they behavior is completely out of the norm than either your roomie is skipping his meds or something bad might have happened. When my cousins miss their meds or dont have the money for it they are pretty dang scary. They flip out over every tiny thing. My oldest cousin tried to hit me because I sneezed while she was reading.

[AdamSavage]

I did some quick reading on BI polar, and the more I read. The more I can relate to the way he has been acting, I don't think I can live with him if he is going to be like this. I can't deal with it, but right now I can't afford to move either. I want to completely loose it on him, but I know it will only make things worse.

[Teigan]

I don't know much about bipolar, but changes like that in someone with mental illness probably mean they are not taking their meds. I have...a variety pack of illnesses (ptsd, panic/anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, major depressive disorder) and when I'm not taking mine correctly...things can get bad/weird/scary and I don't see it from my point of view. You might want to ask him about his meds.

[Wain]

I also know people with bipolar. It may not necessarily mean he's not taking his meds (though it could), but that they're not working right for him. People's brain chemistry changes and he might need to see a doc again to get a different dose or a new drug.

It depends on how close you are with him and how personal you can get in the conversation. If so, I'd broach it with him that you've noticed him acting out of character, but only on a day when everything is calm and good. Certainly not when there's any anger. He might actually appreciate it, or need the bump to go see a doctor again. But then, maybe your relationship isn't the kind where you can bring this up with him.

The number one thing that just blew my mind, was when he told me that it was only logical to simply forget about my daughter.(I don't get to see her, and it's a long story) Pretty much pretend she doesn't exist. It was his solution to me dealing with not seeing her, on a daily basis. I couldn't believe it, my mind was blown.. I still don't understand to this day, the thought process that went on inside his head.

Possibly nothing more than he was in a really shitty place and just didn't care about anyone else's problems and so was irrationally dismissive. Then again, maybe he's a sociopath.

[Lisaara]

My mother is schitzo and bipolar. My best friend is bipolar, as is her mother. I've been around bipolar people all my life. Trust me, you know. If your friend is happy one minute and upset the next, they're likely bipolar in some shape or form. You'd likely need a psychiatrist or psychologist to take a look from a professional PoV though.

[Sesamee]

I am the primary caretaker of my brother who is a schizophrenic with symptoms ranging from delusions to manic episodes. It's similar to a bipolar disorder but much more serious. If your roommate's behavior changes suddenly or over a short period of time you're right to be concerned about him not taking his meds. My brother hates his medication and will refuse to take it if I'm not adamant about it. Some days I have to stand there and watch him swallow the pills.

He is like night and day on medication and him taking it could be a life or death matter for him or someone else. According to his doctors people with mental disorders not wanting to be on medication is extremely common. Then they will try to self meditate with drugs and alcohol. Next time you see the crazy drunk homeless person try to let yourself feel compassion instead of revulsion as chances are they are dealing with a serious mental illness. Going through this with my brother has affected how I see them. One guy was actually brought to tears because I stopped and said hi, let him pet my pit bull, and was nice to him instead of shunning him like most people do. K, PSA over lol!

Another less likely scenario is that his meds have stopped being as effective and need to be adjusted. I've seen this happen with my brother but it's more long term and not as drastic a change as if he just stopped taking them.

Living with someone with a serious mental disorder is a huge challenge. It affects everything from my social life, my friends, boyfriend, to even my dogs and cats. It's a juggling act every single day. I would never do it for just a roommate. Never! It's incredibly challenging as it is being my brother who I love very much. And sometimes the best thing for them is that they be hospitalized or under professional care. We went through that stage with my brother as well.

I feel for you as I know what living with such a challenge is like. If you choose to continue that living situation try to remember that your roommate is ill. You cannot expect him to act like a "normal" person and you won't be able to relate to him like one in certain situations. Looking at it this way helps with the inevitable frustration that comes when dealing with a person with an illness like this.

[Rawr]

I'm Bipolar and there could be a number of things effecting him right now. Yes checking to see if he is taking his meds would be the 1st thing, but it could be something else. Did the weather in your area change lately for an extended period of time, ei was it sunny for months and just started raining for 2 weeks. 25-30 min of sunlight everyday is needed to keep stable (if you guys live somewhere that's overcast a lot, I would have him invest in a HappyLight). Is he under a lot of stress, ie. mid term papers and whatnot I'm amusing your both in college. Is he sleeping normally? There are too many variables here that I'm not aware of to give my honest opinion on why he is acting this way. But normally when someone Bipolar II goes off their meds they have short tempers, abnormal apatite (eating constantly or hardly at all), trouble sleeping and waking up, and mood swings. If he is Bipolar I and off his meds he would be 100 times worse and very capable of hurting himself and you without realizing it (both physically and mentally).

[AdamSavage]

Well it was mostly sunny for pretty much all of July and part of June. Then in August/Sept it started to be overcast and rain more often.

[Rawr]

Well it was mostly sunny for pretty much all of July and part of June. Then in August/Sept it started to be overcast and rain more often.

Weather changes like that can cause issues if his Bipolar is severe enough. Irritability, really short temper, and depression are common (also a general loathing of all things can accrue). If he is on his meds and this is still happening he may want to talk to his doctor about getting something stronger. If he doesn't like that idea tell him to get a Happy Light. Worked wonders for me and I'm sure you could find one on Amazon.

[AdamSavage]

Well it was mostly sunny for pretty much all of July and part of June. Then in August/Sept it started to be overcast and rain more often.

Weather changes like that can cause issues if his Bipolar is severe enough. Irritability, really short temper, and depression are common (also a general loathing of all things can accrue). If he is on his meds and this is still happening he may want to talk to his doctor about getting something stronger. If he doesn't like that idea tell him to get a Happy Light. Worked wonders for me and I'm sure you could find one on Amazon.

I don't even know how to ask if he is taking his med, or not.

[Teigan]

Just ask. Tell him its cause you care about him and are concerned. Meds can be life or death.

[AdamSavage]

Small update, he finally admitted to one of my roommates that he hasn't always taken his meds. He basically is blaming his behavior on this. It's pretty much like, ops sorry. I didn't take my meds today, that's why I'm being such a idiot. It's kinda of interesting in some sense, to study his behavior once you realize what he has. Then everything starts to fall in place, his moods swings. How one day he can be the nicest, most patience person around. Then other days, the complete opposite. The positive side of things, is he told the other roommates that he is moving out Jan 31st. This is a good thing, and it will be even better if I can stay here with the other two roommates. It will be a stress free environment for all of us.

[Teigan]

If he had diabetes and forgot his insulin that day, and you found him passed out in an insulin coma, would it be fair to blame his meds? Mental illnesses really are illnesses. They are illnessess of brain chemistry. The brain is an organ, just like any other. The sad truth is, you start feeling better and think you don't need them cause you're "better" and cause well, society places such a stigma on mental illness who wants to be stuck with that label. Then, sometimes, you really aren't better and all hell breaks loose. Its not really an "excuse" and maybe I'm being a bit oversensitive, but you calling it that kinda hurts, speaking as one of those people who if she doesn't take her meds....well....it ain't pretty.

[AdamSavage]

If he had diabetes and forgot his insulin that day, and you found him passed out in an insulin coma, would it be fair to blame his meds? Mental illnesses really are illnesses. They are illnessess of brain chemistry. The brain is an organ, just like any other. The sad truth is, you start feeling better and think you don't need them cause you're "better" and cause well, society places such a stigma on mental illness who wants to be stuck with that label. Then, sometimes, you really aren't better and all hell breaks loose. Its not really an "excuse" and maybe I'm being a bit oversensitive, but you calling it that kinda hurts, speaking as one of those people who if she doesn't take her meds....well....it ain't pretty.

Maybe, but lately he has been treating people like real jerks. He freaks out over everything, keeps bringing up stuff from the past. It doesn't matter if the issue was resolved or not. He is goes as far to throw out labels to our Female roommate like "Typical Woman, holds things and let out 6 months later" I get he is Bi Polar, and maybe I don't understand it well enough but I believe there is more to his behavior then just that. He was never this bad when he was dating his girlfriend, it wasn't until she broke up with him and moved out that everything went downhill.

[Rawr]

I have to completely agree with Teigan, "The sad truth is, you start feeling better and think you don't need them cause you're "better" " is absolutely true, I felt the same way when I went off my meds for 2 days. I couldn't sleep for 3 days, turned my my arm into what looked like spaghetti with a steak knife, and ended up in a psych ward. Be thankful your roommate's bipolar is mild. Yes people have to learn that being bipolar is a life long ailment and we will always have to take medication for it (some more than others), and no Teigan you are not being oversensitive. Also we, people who are bipolar, still have good and bad days that meds cannot help. When it's sunny we still can get overly manic and in cloudy weather very depressed. Don't be too judgmental we do best in stable environments, sudden change, like breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend can be detrimental and having a rock to hold onto can sometimes be life or death. Don't get me wrong though he still needs to take responsibility for not taking his meds, but all the trouble he seems to be getting into may just be the push to get him to stay on his meds.

[AdamSavage]

Mild... man, I hate to see just how bad it can get. Either way, he said is moving end of Jan. I hate to say it, but I'm looking forward to it. I can't deal with his mental illness anymore, I've tried to be patience and I've held back saying things. However, I can only deal with it so much before I can't take it anymore. He isn't getting better, if anything he is progressively getting worse.

[Rawr]

If he is getting worse you need to let his family or someone who can help him know. The most dangerous thing you can do is not letting someone who can help know his current situation and that it's going downhill. You seem (from what I have read) to be the only one in daily contact with this guy that cares and it isn't going to sit well with you or your roommates if he moves out, oh yeah we are rid of the crazy jerk, and two days later he jumps off a bridge. Sometimes giving a small push isn't enough and I know how frustrating it is to deal with people who don't know they are sick (or don't want to know), you need to drag them by the hair kicking and screaming to nearest place that will help (no I don't mean that literary) but you may have to force him to get help. A family member or close friend is required for this btw, and there will be denial, anger, and a lot of screaming but you may save a life here man. So don't blow it off or ignore him. I'm not saying you need to do something drastic (unless you have to) but I am saying you need to do something more than just ask how to deal with him on forums. The guy is sick help him out before you all end up seeing him on the evening news.

[Teigan]

I can't deal with his mental illness anymore. However, I can only deal with it so much before I can't take it anymore. He isn't getting better, if anything he is progressively getting worse.

How do you think he feels about it? He's stuck with this for life. You get to casually move on and make it not your problem.
Rawr is 1000% right. You need to take action other than complaining about a sick person on a WoW forum. That's real life man, that's a human being, someone's child. He's sick and needs help. To paraphrase, the worst crime in times of crisis is to do nothing.

[AdamSavage]

He is going to move in with his Dad, and we don't really talk to each other anymore unless it's something related to the house. We don't get along enough to be able to be buddy buddy anymore, and I think it's more this just his Mental Illness. If something goes wrong in the house, I get the blame for it. He will leave out enough details to others, that he makes me look like the bad person and him look good. Even when he doesn't and it's resolved, he keeps bringing it up years later. I've even asked him to not bring up stuff from the past before, and he he agrees to it, and does it anyway. For the roommates, I can't speak for all of them. However, I know our female roommate is happy he is moving.

He has gone to see Doctor's, and he said they either don't think anything is wrong with him or they wont help him. (His words, not mine) It's hard to help someone that doesn't want to be helped, so hopefully him living with his Dad will help him sort out his issues. He doesn't really have any close friends anymore, as he tends to treat them like shit. He gets into a huge argument with them over nothing and over time people just stop talking to him. He is the same way with our neighbor's for the most part. He wont talk to half of them, because in his eyes they are all jerks. He even refused to go to Starbucks, all over this one chick that worked there. I guess she said the wrong thing to him, and he took it the wrong way and freaked out.

It's not that I don't want to him, I don't know to deal with it. I get stressed out myself when I try to, and it's not healthy to be living in a stressful environment. He promised our Female roommate that he would leave the deep freezer behind, as she said should buy it off him. However, before she even had a chance to get the money for it, he took it out of the house without any warning. The overall tension in this house right now is fairly high, and I think he is starting to realize that everyone in the house is frustrated to no end with him. It's almost impossible to try and talk to him anyway, because whenever you try to talk to him he flips out over the smallest thing or refuses to admit he shared some but not all fault.

EDIT: After thinking about this more, I asked myself at what point do you draw the line from his Mental Illness causing him to act like this, and him simply being a Jerk ? I have ADD myself, and to me this would be like blaming my ADD every time I forgot about something. He promised our Female roommate he would let buy the freezer off him, and then turns around a simply takes it anyway. In fact, he is taking things now that we know he is going to take eventually compared to letting everyone use it for now. He does have the right to do so, but a fair warning would of been nice. That way we could of done one last load of dishes. We didn't even get that. He even deleted the other roommate from Facebook, simply because he tried to tell him that has to give the cable company 30 days notice when your discount it. This is what I mean, by you can't really talk to him. It almost always makes things even worse then they already are.