I can commit to grp with my husband but thats it

i soloed Everquest, WoW. Aion, Anarachy Online, Dungeon and Dragons online - cept in wow i never grped with any1 but my husband.. i know it gets harder the higher lvl u get up (only lvl 61 in eq atm) but thats how i like it...
I hate killing humanoids and there a bit to many of them in EQ - and aion is full of pvp
I know that every mmorpg has it grinds... and aion is among the worst sometimes. Everquest has aa grind.. i know u cannot avoid grind.. but u could maybe have 50 (or 15) different zones to grind in so you could have a change of sceanary
I WILL find a mmorpg i can settle with - i know it.. even if i have to make it myself
ESO is looking good because eventhough its a mmorpg u can CHOOSE to be a solo player - or atleast thats what they say in their comment.
Also like to see how Everquest next is gonna be - they claim its gonna be the worlds biggest sandbox game - so that might be interesting.
I like going into the bazaar/ah/broker and buy gear which other ppl have made. I LOOOOOOVE making money from selling gear which i found.
I dont oppose to ALL kinds of community - but i HATE when endgames offer you nothing but raids,dailyquest and things like that.
I wanna go explore by my self and still get something out from it. I wanna kill a raid boss alone (or with husband) and get rewards for it . I want the raids to scale... so u dont NEED to go in with10/20/40 ppl. Let the loot scale.. if u go in by myself the loot will NEVER be as good as a raid but it leats me explore some of the game which i would never see.
Make the raids intersting... not just focus on tacts and bosses... I hate that if i scratch my nose wrong and doesnt hop on one leg im gonna get killed.
I just want options.... so i dont feel forced by a game to do anything.
I know wow has tons of solo content and that i dont need to grp with anyone.. but at highlvl it gets boring..... to me atleast... I dont want 75 daily quest, i wanna go to a new place, discorver it riches/area/etc and get rewards other then loot/money/justice points. I wanna improve my self and not just with loot.
Eq has a TINY bit of it going with aa... makes u feel like that even if u dont lvl... u lvl anyway... i take that since atm i havent found anything like it -- well rift has some sort of the same but thats harder
I know im kinda of a loner on this issue and i know i probally never will find MY game unless i design one myself
I like graphics but its not the overall win - i just want an option to go explore by myself and then if i WANT to - not cause i NEED to in order to improve my char - i can find a grp/raid etc