What on earth is he doing?

[Bowno]

So I have this cat.

This cat... Omg this cat. What a weird one. xD
BUT UH.
He does this thing when me or anyone else is asleep where he jumps up on the bed and starts working the covers with his paws starting at our feet, then sloooowly makes his way to our face. He does this for HOURS. No joke. Hours. At first I thought he was just trying to get comfy, but he just does it for too long.

When we try to reach out and pet him (He's a loving cat, but he has been known to bite. He's not mean though) he gets all upset, screams and bites -hard- as if we're stopping him from doing something important.

He doesn't really look normal when he does it either. He's fixed, but it kinda looks like he's trying to... well.. Uh. Lol It kinda looks like he's trying to do the covers. That might explain why he gets so upset. I'm sure human guys get pissed too when they're trying to fap.

Any idea what he's really doing though? The fact that he screams and bites if we so much as try to touch him is what is really confusing to me.

[Miyon]

How old is he, how long has he been doing this, and is he neutered?

[Tsuki]

Well, I don't know about cats, but my dog Lily, who is spayed, still humps everything and anything...
But yeah I'm guessing he's trying to get off on the covers?

[Dewclaw]

He's *enjoying* the covers. Some animals just do that, fixed or not.

[Sukurachi]

when you say "works the covers with his paws", do you mean like a kneading motion?

if so, that particular motion of the paws (one after the other, as though kneading bread dough, push-pull) is generally a "bonding" behaviour. Normally a cat will do this against a person.

For example, every night at bed time, my youngest cat will always jump up on the bed, and walk up to me and hop up on my chest (oumph!), then he'll start doing this massage-motion with his front paws, on my chest, near my shoulders. He does the left side for a few seconds, then switches to the right, then back and forth like that. He does this for a few minutes, purring like a madman (and most often drooling on my chest as well. when he purrs he drools... ewww).

His eyes look a little glazed over, as though he's in a trance.

But if I stop him, he never gets aggressive. He just trots off. but you did mention that your cat can have his aggressive moments.

This type of massage/kneading is the same movement a kitten does to its mother while drinking milk. The massage-like effect strengthens the parental bond, while also stimulating lactation in the mother.

However, you seem to imply that the motion seems "sexual" in nature.... is the cat actually "humping"? or is he doing this kneading motion with all four paws?

[Bowno]

How old is he, how long has he been doing this, and is he neutered?

He's like 8 years old or so. Not 100% sure.
He is fixed as well and he's done this for ~5 years now.

But yeah I'm guessing he's trying to get off on the covers?

He's *enjoying* the covers. Some animals just do that, fixed or not.

Oh dear ;.;

do you mean like a kneading motion

Indeed. It's like he's kneading, but the way he has his back end kinda tucked in makes it seem less so.

is the cat actually "humping"? or is he doing this kneading motion with all four paws?

This is where I'm not sure. His back paws only go up and down very slightly since his hind end is tucked in, but he is Kneading with his front. I can see how the bonding thing you explained can work in with that, but the back end is kinda throwing me off.
He does drool though, but I'm not sure about his eyes because it's usually dark when he does this. When I try to get up to turn on the light to see WTH he's doing, he screams and runs off. XD

[Sukurachi]

I suspect it is as I said: bonding behaviour.

both of my cats do it with all four paws.
at first it was sort of strange with the younger one, because he'd be sitting on my chest, and the motion of his hind paws did feel a bit like grinding, but under better light I realized it was just the kneading motion.

My older cat does it when I hold him in my arms, cradled like a baby (on his back, in the crook of my arm) and when I sing... I often sing along with classical music when at my computer, and he likes the vibration in my chest (I trained as a singer a long time ago). He starts kneading with his front paws, but at some point the back paws get in on the action as well.

I do find the "scream and run away" part a little odd, however.

It's sort of "I wub you, I wub you, I wub you... AGH! don't look at me when I'm wubbing you!"

[Bowno]

I suspect it is as I said: bonding behaviour.

both of my cats do it with all four paws.
at first it was sort of strange with the younger one, because he'd be sitting on my chest, and the motion of his hind paws did feel a bit like grinding, but under better light I realized it was just the kneading motion.

My older cat does it when I hold him in my arms, cradled like a baby (on his back, in the crook of my arm) and when I sing... I often sing along with classical music when at my computer, and he likes the vibration in my chest (I trained as a singer a long time ago). He starts kneading with his front paws, but at some point the back paws get in on the action as well.

I do find the "scream and run away" part a little odd, however.

It's sort of "I wub you, I wub you, I wub you... AGH! don't look at me when I'm wubbing you!"

Hopefully that's it then. I'll have to keep a flashlight by my bed tonight to see if that's the case too with his hind paws. I'm a lot more sure now that it is.
My cat lets me do that as well, though I don't sing because I sound like a Harpy when I do xD He used to try to nurse on my finger when he was younger as well when I did that. Strange cat he is. I was always scared he'd choke when he tried to do it to my entire finger up to the knuckle D: I'd never try to force it in that far, he'd just kinda do it on his own. Lol. Never though has he kneaded while I held him like that. Which is where I think you may be right on the scream thing. Maybe he just wants to seem like a tough guy?
He always looks around all paranoid when he's getting his back scratched and being all loving.. Like he doesn't want other cats outside to see him.

[Akyo]

Sounds like hes got a obsessive kneading behaviour.
There is no need for him to do it for hours on end. But maybe sometime back found out that this was rather nice and that there is no switch in his head telling him thats enough for now.
It could explain why he gets angry with you when he gets interupted. Its like telling a smoker to put down his sig.

just my theory though. I can be wrong.

[Rhyela]

My male cat also likes blankets and pet beds. At first it looks like harmless kneading, but the way his rear end is curled in (and the quick, brief jerking motions here and there), I think he just really likes blankets. He doesn't get violent, though. He doesn't want to give it up, but if I'm insistent (physically removing him from his girlfriend) he eventually gets the hint and walks away. And yes, he's neutered, though I don't know when he was neutered since I adopted him as an already-neutered adult.

[Chimera]

Janie my cat, she's spayed and everything but whenever i lie my large bath robe down, she'll crawl on it and knead away, purring and closing her eyes. She'll only do it for like 5-10min at a time but i always thought that was pretty long, cant imagine what its like to watch a cat knead for hours.

My previous cat Lucky would knead my face. We'd lie down on the ground and he'd massage my face while i gave him belly rubs. He was severely attached to me, like i was his world. His world revolved completely around me and what i was doing and would knead in my lap before snuggling down for a nap on me or knead my face or knead the blankets covering my lap and chest, it was always about me with him XD

I have absolutely no idea why your cat gets so furious when hes interrupted tho, perhaps see if you can talk to the vet and see if they know anything in regards to behaviors? I imagine hes not gonna be the only one out there with a confused owner, you could try googling it as well to see if anyone else has gone to the web with this, or similar, problems