Semi Leaving

[Varethyn]

I give up. I truly do. I've been trying to keep up with you guys, to be a part of this community. But lately I feel like I'm not only being left behind but trampled on. I know I'm quiet. I know I don't post much. I only wanted to join in. My art, maybe one or two people say something. My dragons, one or two will have some interest then be forgotten - I've even PMed people who had been interested to ask if they still were and never got a reply. Any statements or questions I've asked were discarded. Few people even commented on my feelings and mental state from the rant thread.

As far as I'm concerned the only things I've done/do here is my old PetEmote art thread that I abandoned after learning that I couldn't handle the pressure and PetEmote itself, which is pretty much dead right now because nothing new's come out, all the typos have apparently been fixed and no one's offered any suggestions. At best my brother and I can only blow the dust off of it and keep it updated.

So then, rather than post something and likely be ignored I'm choosing to simply not post any more. I'll be around to make sure PetEmote is up to date but I doubt I'll do much more than that.

I'd like to thank LupisDarkmoon, Moonlost and Serendipity for PMing me to keep me company, Dirty-Claws and Anyia for expressing concern in the rant thread and Mozag for leaving a comment on my FR user page.

[Bulletdance]

I don't think it's you. I think things are just a bit quiet lately like WoW itself. It'll probably pick up again after the patch if the patch is any good.

[Mozag]

Varethyn - I am very sorry to see you go, and I am even sorrier to see you down in the dumps. I hope nobody ever intended for you to feel left out, the FR threads just move very fast. I know it was certainly never my intention in any case.

[Bulletdance]

I hope you can cheer up as well and not feel left out. I love seeing your posts cuz I've always really liked your siggy.
I play this when I get a bit down and it cheers me up, but I'm kinda weird it might not work for everyone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUE-ic_Q0g4

[Silivren]

Vare I'm sorry you're leaving. I never got to talk to you much but I always enjoyed your posts.

If you'd like I'll add you on realID? That would be fun I'd like to think. ^.^

[Dewclaw]

I'm sorry you feel that way. I don't think anyone intended it.

[Ana]

I'm sorry you feel that way. I don't think anyone intended it.

so much this....im sorry you feel bad .. i stopped playnig wow so i dont comment alot on those threads and im really rreally sorry if i miss your dragons on fr!!

I never inteded to hurt anyone and im sorry you feel that ppl are ignoring you.

[Makoes]

I am sorry you're feeling ignored it's not my intent to ignore anyone, I tend to skim posts, especially the FR ones since they move so fast, I am sorry I've missed you

[Jurz]

Such a shame. You seemed like such a nice person (I'm still relatively new) You will be missed!

[ashdawn]

im sorry, Ill be honist I saw your rant thread posts, I like to reply when I can but when I cant help I cant help, sometimes when I try and cheer someone up it comes across as "my life is so good lol" which I hate doing

anyways, hope to see you come back soon.

[Lisaara]

Sorry you feel that way, Var. :<

Though keep in mind, the rant thread is just for ranting to get it off your chest. Not everyone is gonna reply to it and it shouldn't be expected, imho. I ranted about a lot of things there and rarely does anyone respond to me but I don't usually care cause I got it off my chest and that's what the thread is for. I read each and every rant there, including yours. I just like seeing whats on peoples minds, not so much replying to them unless I have something I'd like to say. Otherwise that thread would be filled with more "Aw that sucks" rather than actual rants. We can't have that, can we?

I don't play FR cause it's buggy as hell and the people there on their forums seem to be the exact same people from DC that were awful and douches. I just read the rant thread there to see if the game has improved. So far, it hasn't imho. So I won't be going there anytime soon.

As for Pet Emote, I'm pretty positive I offered a few suggestions. I'm unsure if any were implemented. But right now, things are in a lul. Just like in my guild. People aren't interested anymore cause 5.3 didn't offer anything. Once 5.4 comes out, things will likely pick up again; I'm sure of it.

A lot of stuff I've posted doesn't always become the big topic to talk about. Just something you gotta accept. I peek at the art threads often, even if I don't comment. I recommend everyone remember that just because there's no replies doesn't mean it's ignored. Look at the views if you don't believe me. Even the blues on the WoW forums say they may not reply but they do read and take things into consideration. It's no different here. :3

Anyway, I'm rambling. I hope you reconsider after reading my two cents on this whole thing(and possibly some others). If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here.

[Castile]

I'm sorry you feel that way but I wouldn't take ppl not replying as anything personal. Hell alot of my posts don't get replies - my art (its not that great compared to others lol), my mount journal and screenshots but meh just cause someone doesn't reply doesn't mean it hasn't been read or noted.

Also it's difficult to reply to people feeling depressed if you don't know how that feels or even suicidal. People might be scared to say the wrong thing or upset you cause they don't understand or can't relate.

Life is out there for the taking and I hope you can get through whatever it is you are dealing with you will be missed here.

[Sukurachi]

This isn't condemnation. it's simple truth. so imagine I'm saying it softly and with a warm and caring voice.

An internet forum isn't the place to seek support for depression or suicidal thoughts. That's number 1.

As far as your art is concerned, consider yourself lucky that a few people DID comment on it. I've spent years working at my music (literally, my entire life), and when I tried posting a bit of my work here have gotten absolutely zero response. But I just don't take it personally. So people are here to talk about pets, and WoW, and apparently some new game about dragons. I simply don't rely on this forum for music-related commentary.

You certainly aren't the only one that doesn't get lots of response to your comments. There are many others. But that's the nature of internet forums. people tend to think in terms of "me, myself, and I". In other words, regardless of how meaningful whatever you wrote is, other people will probably not relate to it as deeply because they are looking for things that directly relate to themselves.

If you really are depressed, to the point of suicidal thoughts, then you require true competent professional help in that field, not random responses from strangers on an internet forum.

I hope you get the support you require.

but please, don't take whatever happens on this forum as being a reflection of how others see your worth, or value your presence. you have to take what you read on Petopia for what it's worth. Remember, it's just a collection of random strangers, many if not most of them under-age, who happen to share an interest in World of Warcraft pets. Don't rely on that for your self-worth.

[Wain]

Sukurachi said it well, thank you! (and I never saw your post about your music!)

This forum is a place where fun discussions can happen between near-strangers and at times it can almost feel like family. But it really is more like a bar, where people come and go at odd times, disappear for long stretches, and are in completely different moods from one day to the next. For myself, I used to look at the art forum quite a bit but now haven't in many, many months. No reason, just distracted by other things and limited time. Many things I may once have paid compliments on I just haven't seen. The Rants thread is one that I very rarely ever read, just when the mood takes me.

Just one example, I noticed one member has gone to a massive effort to put together some new instructional videos, but I still haven't found time to watch them and many others wouldn't have yet, either. So their efforts have gone unremarked and unthanked so far just because of timing and chance. At other times they may have had 20 enthusiastic replies already. It really is just timing and chance. How many people are busy on the forum that week and how distracted they are.

So yes, please don't ever define your worth by how people respond on here. At times the community can feel very supportive, but just because at other times they don't doesn't mean they don't like you or care. They're just off looking at other things. And if you're feeling depressed it's very, VERY easy to translate neglect to a feeling of worthlessness. Trust me, I've been there.

If you are having suicidal feelings you really need real-life support. Even if you're not, but are depressed, then the same goes. Depression is nothing to trivialise or be ashamed of. Just remember your feelings of worthlessness are fake, generated by your brain, but playing on real-life keys which make it seem more real. You're a deserving person who one day will feel the happiness and joy and love, both from others and from yourself, and look back on these times as something you fought and got through.

[Varethyn]

Thank you. Really, thank you. I had no idea so many people liked me. I've always been in the mindset where if people say nothing I assume they don't care. It's something I've been (clearly unsuccessfully) trying to shake off. All these responses mean a lot to me.

My brain has a tendency to go haywire when I'm upset it seems, and I ended up posting some pretty stupid stuff. For that I'm sorry. I'd been having an exceptionally hard time for a few days for no real reason which all translated into "lonely, jealous, no one would notice if I left". I didn't know what I really wanted to say. And by the time I came back to delete this thread it had already (to my surprise) been replied to. I didn't intend for any drama. I'm sorry.

To give you all some ease of mind I'm not going to commit suicide or anything so stupid. It's been a fleeting thought I admit but largely I was too absorbed in the above mindset that I let my fingers type what I was thinking and never looked back until it was too late. ...I'm too scared to, anyway. But I didn't come here to dump my problems on you guys. I only wanted a place I could fit in with, be it pixel animals, art or dragons and had felt stupidly lonely and unaccepted.

I still don't plan to post much. I don't have much reason to right now anyway. I'll be limiting myself to PetEmote and the FR threads, cos someone needs to keep an eye on that addon and as it turns out it's incredibly hard to do anything with my dragons on only one other forum

I hope you guys can forgive me.

[Mozag]

There is absolutely nothing to forgive. We all have our bad days. Please do come back and join us on the FR threads!

[Qinni]

Its sad you see you leave :c

Hey if it makes you feel any better...I still have that doodle of Qinni you made for me a looong time ago. <3

[Lupis]

<3 Vare, it's no issue. You're in a hard place and I can understand being upset. I just hope everything starts to sort itself out and these moods become more fleeting, for your sake!

[Eternallylostx]

im sorry, Ill be honist I saw your rant thread posts, I like to reply when I can but when I cant help I cant help, sometimes when I try and cheer someone up it comes across as "my life is so good lol" which I hate doing

anyways, hope to see you come back soon.

Basically this, I can listen but I can't do much to respond or help other then saying "things will get better" which is what I hate about me. D:
It's sad to see you go, I know we don't talk but I wouldn't mind if conversation struck up. I would personally start talking to people, but I'm rlly shy so I normally wait for people to tak to me, ya know? :c

Anyway, hope to see you around soon, and I hope you take care, ok?

[Varethyn]

Between a good night's sleep granting me clarity of mind and you guys, I'm not going to leave after all. I just don't have much reason to post much and likely you'll see most of my activity over in the FR threads.

Once again, sorry for my outburst and thank you for putting up with it <3