The most interesting orc in the world...

[Epicfail]

Reposting from Petopia Nessingwary server forums...

So. I've decided to roll up a hunter on Nessingwary... as my given name was taken, I decided to don a different face....
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His name is Dosequis and he is the most interesting Orc in the world...

-) He will never need more cowbell...
-) He's tamed every creature of the barrens and built a zoo near the orphanage.
-) Bosses would drop loot for him, but he already won it all from them at Poker.
-) His beard has won more Warsong Gulches than many lesser warlords...
-) Other factions grind dailys to be exalted with him....
-) Un'goro Devilsaurs look nervously over their shoulders to make sure he's not stalking nearby...
-) He singlehandedly found and returned Sylvannis' real body...
-) He poured a bottle of fine tequila off the Black Temple's roof to remember a fond misunderstood old friend...
-) Thrall offered him the warchief position first, but he didn't want to hurt Hellscream's feelings...
-) Deathwing let him decide where to split the barrens...
-) Its rumored that Azshara herself secretly facebook stalks him...

-) He once died just to feel what it was like to respawn...
-) He had an Onyxian whelpling pet long ago. Her name was Onyxia...
-) He introduced flying on the back of a Gryphon to the Wildhammer Dwarves, and won a hefty bet at the same time...
-) Ner'zul euthonized his companion cube faster than he did. From that day forward, he knew Draenor's days were numbered...
-) He successfully arbitrated a shared possession of the Blacksmith of Arathi Basin...
-) He can equip any number of unique items, because... he can...
-) Many agree, he was the first to be casually hardcore... and make it look good...
-) He's been friends with Chuck Norris long enough to call him "Charles"...
-) He has never lost a fight in his life. Consequently, he's also never been married.
-) He is always the last man standing in every war, every bar fight and every drinking game...

-) He helped Yogg'saron deal with his work issues through hyponosis and feigning a deadly heart attack.
-) He also gave the less famous "Milton" boss of Ulduar his streamline stapler, prior to his being "relocated" to the the furnace room and being renamed "Ignis".
-) Edward Van Cleef and his masons still owe HIM money.
-) C'thun only has nice things to say about him and his friends.
-) The Ogres made him king of Dire Maul his first pass through...
-) He once had a doubt, but that doubt had incredible faith in him and he found the strength to carry on.
-) People spread rumors that he is 7 feet tall and that he consumes the Lich King's undead horde with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse. This is completely untrue as he is exactly 6 ft 7in.
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The most interesting orc in the world...

...on Barren's chat...
"I almost responded to someone in Barren's chat once, but I jabbed a stilleto into my eye instead... it seemed, at the time, less painful".

...on the Lich King...
"No man becomes that vengeful, unless a woman is involved..."

...on the cataclysm...
"The world was apparently not broken enough... "

...on King Varian Wrynn...
"I'm sure he is as pleasant a fellow as any man who carries around two very large swords in his hands...everywhere he goes..."

...on Garrosh Hellscream...
"He is probably destined to become the master of all he sees. Sadly, no one may live to see it, but him."

...on Sylvannis...
"Never buy a woman a drink that doesn't need ice to keep it cold..."

...on Gnomes...
"Many gnomes may have died in the pursuit of advancing modern technology, but I believe we can all agree, not nearly enough..."

...on death...
"We all must face it at some point. The trick is to enjoy your last few seconds at great expense to those sending you on your way."

...on Jaina Proudmoore...
"A woman who can create a portal connecting any two places is always the girl next door..."

...on Wintergrasp...
"So you fight your hardest to invade or safeguard a fortress... that has no tavern? I don't understand..."

...on raid groups...
"You do realize that you only need two to party, yes?"

...on teir set bonuses...
"Some of us do not require incentives to dress for success..."

...ON THE BROKEN CAPS KEY...
"Please do us all the favor of breaking the rest of your keys as well..."


...on gearscore...
"He who dies with the highest gear score, still stood too long in the fire..."

...on elitism...
"Your name is above every other because you are standing on the very sore shoulders of someone else..."

...on Medivh...
"He always threw one hell of a house party. He just could never get anyone to leave..."

...on Kel'thuzad...
"Never was there a man more in need of a tall mug of stout... and probably a girlfriend..."

...on Quillboars and Harpies...
"Hmmm. I like my bacon crispy and my eggs sunny side up... "

...on the answer to the ultimate question of life and everything...
"........ask me again on my deathbed, if you are still alive..."

...on Chuck Norris jokes...
"............ no..."

...on the Cluster F***...
"If this turns out to be a bad thing, you are probably doing it wrong..."


...on Baron Rivendare's horse...
"Living, or undead, proof that you can love something so much that you take it with you when you die... every.... single... time..."

...on the rarest of spawns...
"They were the victims of the early success of a novice hunter named Nessingwary. They were once many, but I managed to save a few for posterity... You didn't kill any of them, did you?"

..on the achievement "Bloody Rare"...
"You.... bastards..."

..on Regent Lord Lor'themar...
"Do not change the subject!!! wait... who? Hrmm. I don't know this one..."

...on the Draenai...
"They were much more interesting to drink with when they were the bad guys..."

...on Tauren Paladins...
".../sigh... Nothing good can come from this..."

...on Nozdormu, the Timeless One...
"...His real name is Dr. Sam Beckett... and by the look of things, no, he never made it home..."
(freshly baked cookies to those who catch the reference)


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I usually don't drink mead... but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis....

Stay thirsty my friends...
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In case you don't understand the resemblance...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI58wj4b ... ObjQ4WM1q4


Dosequis is a hunter now, but I'm thinking he will play a "retired" hunter in Cataclysm that just does bar tricks and summons drinks for his thirsty friends... (mage).

[Niabi]

I'm lovin' this!

So will Dosequis' pets also have liquor-inspired names?

[Nick]

Needs more cowbell. xD

[Epicfail]

Updated

[Magnakilro]

-Upon seeing him, Rivendare dropped his reins and ran

-All beings were very common sights thousands of years ago...then he arrived and thus many have hidden from him, only coming out when they are sure it is safe. We call these creatures "rare spawns"

[Epicfail]

Updated

[Teigan]

Love it!

[Epicfail]

*Updated