Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

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Aleu
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Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Aleu »

Well, let's just say I'm not that fond of online relationships. I had my heart broken once before by someone online and it makes me think it could never work out. Until I met my current guild. Good people and I found that the GM and the Co-GM were engaged. Not only that, they had met on WoW and moved in with each other. I ended up starting an IC relationship with a friend of theirs they've known for quite a while. Well, long story short, I did some of the taboo's and let my feelings cross the IC/OOC borderline. Sadly, I also found out this boy lives in a different state. Texas. Bleh, and I'm stuck in Massachusetts. That's a good distance. He's a bit younger then I am and currently getting started like myself.

Well, we both agreed to give it a try back in December, but something happened in between then. He ended up getting WoW cut off for a while and we actually started growing distance. Tonight, we decided to talk about this. At first, I thought he was going to say we were done, but instead... He gave me a good proposal (No, not that kind!). Being apart because of money and distance was starting to hurt both of us. We couldn't hug, go out to a movie, kiss etc and this started to take a toll on both of us. He wants us both to take a step back for a moment. We can't do this right away because we're just getting started. We're not done with each, but we need to get started. Then we can hope to be closer to one another. This brought me so much closure and comfort.

JUST WANTED TO SHARE AN ANGSTY STORY.

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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Lupis »

(Lightfur here)
I believe I remember you mentioning that first relationship, and I'm glad something is actually working out alright.
Getting a good, solid base on the relationship always helps. It's great that you talked and figured something out!

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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Aleu »

LupisDarkmoon wrote:(Lightfur here)
I believe I remember you mentioning that first relationship, and I'm glad something is actually working out alright.
Getting a good, solid base on the relationship always helps. It's great that you talked and figured something out!
Oh dear, you remember my freak out about that? ^^;

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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Lupis »

It wasn't really a freak out. I would have been freaking much more, I think. Being depressed was completely understandable!
But yes, I do. The forum post.
...My memory is evil. Blame it. xD

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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Chimera »

Just remember, if the guy breaks it then he aint the one for you! Only a true love would stick with ya through all the storms that come to pass. :)

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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Aleu »

Xakaal wrote:Just remember, if the guy breaks it then he aint the one for you! Only a true love would stick with ya through all the storms that come to pass. :)
Hehe, I get told that a lot and you're right. If someone breaks up with you because of hurdles, they're not the one for you. <3

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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Chimera »

Yea its definitely a well worn saying but it really is true xD Im wishing you two good luck <3

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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Felidire »

I personally think online/long distance relationships are great, and for quite a lot of people it's the best way to find someone who holds a myriad of similar interests. (despite that, it'd take someone incredibly awesome to ever get me back into the dating scene again..) XD

Doesn't really matter if they're younger or older imo, a fair few girls out there detest the idea of dating someone younger as well, but so long as you find someone who's actually mature and level-headed then I don't see the problem. Some people deal better with the distance than others do.. and i've found that if you're saving money to visit or preparing to move closer to them, that knowledge alone tends to curb the pain and bridge the gap a little; whereas if both parties are lacking communication and neither one is saving money/preparing a visit, then everything starts feeling pretty crummy (as you've seen.)

One step at a time, stay positive, and keep an open mind even if things don't work out -- I think things will work out for the better, no matter what happens. x3

Good luck. =3

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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Adam-Savage »

This is part of the reason online relationships can be hard. It lacks the physical aspects of the relationship. Sure there is webcam and phone etc..but it doesn't make up for physically being around the person. I wish you both luck and hope you guys can make it work when you put your minds to it. ;)
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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Rottingham »

I personally have never had a relationship with anyone so I cannot really comment on it. But the way I see it is that if you two are right for eachother it will work out in the end. Trust me, it alwasy seems darkest before the dawn, adn when it finally works out then who knows, maybe you two will go see that movie or hug or whatnot. I'll be prayin' for the two of you (or keep you in my thoughts if you're offended by prayer).

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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by lilatha »

I was involed in a online relationship, YES THEY CAN BE HARD! You might fight and might get randomly mad just because you can't hug that person or see them when you like ... or even call them when your down. But if you both want it to work it will sometimes you do need to take a step back and remember the distance as much as it hurts to do so and maybe save up to have a small trip and visit eachother one day I know it will take awhile but setting a goal for you both might help. You shouldn't get to down about this when you think about it any relationship is tough some more then others but like others have said if they choose to break up with you they ain't the guy for you doesn't stop you being friends though :)
Sadly for me mine didn't work out turns out he wanted something I had to give him it. I am rather young and he wanted me to move away from my family and friends that minute ... But I'm sure yours will work as long as you both try ... I found having a webcam talk from time to time really nice, ok it wasn't seeing them how I would of liked but it eased the pain of not having them around. I wish I would be more help but I don't want to post to much on my online relationship in such a public form ^^' Sorry
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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Aleu »

I'm trying to save up money and convince my mom to help me fund a trip down sometime this year. I'll likely look into getting job as well, but I am not spending any of my money anytime soon and I'm trying to sell some of my old stuff. xD Stupid flight costs.

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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Rottingham »

Getting a job could help, and it would also perhaps show a step up in maturity for your mother to allow you to go.

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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Keleri »

I have tons of online friends, but unfortunately when I meet them in person it's always been kind of disappointing. I think the problem is that when you interact with them online, you build up this concept of them in your head and then it feels weird, wrong, to see them in person. This would probably be alleviated if you mainly talked to them over voice chat or webcam instead of just typing, but yeah.

All of my meetups have been really uncomfortable. Especially since the people who are really comfortable IMing and so on are often people who have some social anxiety in person, and then they shut down instead of being able to chat with them comfortably like you're used to.

Just some food for thought before you, say, fly yourself out to a strange place to meet someone for the first time.
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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Aleu »

Oh, I'm not planning anything until at least April. I know for a fact online meetings can be bad so I'm hoping to make this one worth the trip by talking to him before hand a lot. There's also a chance both of us could fly out for our GM's wedding sometime mid year. I know he's very good friends with our GM (Best buds. XD). I've done two online meetings and they've all gone quite well. \o/

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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Lisaara »

Aleu wrote:Well, let's just say I'm not that fond of online relationships. I had my heart broken once before by someone online and it makes me think it could never work out. Until I met my current guild. Good people and I found that the GM and the Co-GM were engaged. Not only that, they had met on WoW and moved in with each other. I ended up starting an IC relationship with a friend of theirs they've known for quite a while. Well, long story short, I did some of the taboo's and let my feelings cross the IC/OOC borderline. Sadly, I also found out this boy lives in a different state. Texas. Bleh, and I'm stuck in Massachusetts. That's a good distance. He's a bit younger then I am and currently getting started like myself.

Well, we both agreed to give it a try back in December, but something happened in between then. He ended up getting WoW cut off for a while and we actually started growing distance. Tonight, we decided to talk about this. At first, I thought he was going to say we were done, but instead... He gave me a good proposal (No, not that kind!). Being apart because of money and distance was starting to hurt both of us. We couldn't hug, go out to a movie, kiss etc and this started to take a toll on both of us. He wants us both to take a step back for a moment. We can't do this right away because we're just getting started. We're not done with each, but we need to get started. Then we can hope to be closer to one another. This brought me so much closure and comfort.

JUST WANTED TO SHARE AN ANGSTY STORY.
I've been there, done that many times. But....I met my current fiance through WoW. See, I started playing wow in September of 2008, around thw 25th or 28th. I met him in Tanaris. Mind you, I was on Jetfyre(my NE druid) and he was on Kaless(his draenei warrior). It was in the Gadgetzan bank on Blackwater Raiders server. I was in the guild Way Of The Druid and he was in an eRP guild called Night Kittens(please dont freak out about that people.). I did the dance emote to him and he danced with me and we started rping and then talked in whispers OOCly. Well in October, he told me his dad had cancer. I supported him and talked to him and rped with him to keep him happy. Then in November, his dad finally passed away, losing the battle with brain cancer. He was devastated. I felt horrible for him so I gave him my number and we started talking on the phone. On December 8th, 2008, he finally unveiled that he loved me. We became a couple from there. I left my guild to join his guild. Sadly Night Kittens fell apart due to a ton of guild drama and we went to Sisters of Elune(the server) but weren't really at home there so then we moved to Moon Guard and now are quite content. Through the years, we visited each other and met the parents(well my parents and his mom) and have been making plans for the future. Then February 6th, 2011(I think), he proposed to me on ventrillo after we downed Sartharion on OS10 with 3 Drakes. He also won the roll of the black drake then traded it to me. So my guildies heard the proposal and were like "AWWWW!!!!" and one guildie, Pheobbe, actually knew he was going to 2 weeks prior and she was like "Do you know how HARD it was not to tell you?!" I plan to go see him in April if I can afford it. He bought my ring today too I think.

So online relationships, while tough, can and do work out if you're willing to try. :3 I wish you the best of luck.

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Re: Letting out my feelings... and Feeling better

Unread post by Aleu »

I know it'll take a while for us to build it up. That's why I wanted to start with a visit this summer. He's going to college this fall, so if we meet and hit it off, I'll be continuing our visits during his vacations. I have a feeling I'll be the one flying down there to see him since he still has no source of income. XD Tis why he's going to college to major in English anyways.

Edit: Got one job app out today. I'm trying to make up a list of places to do one at a time here. XP

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