Ode to Bruudrom (Felhunter)

[Acherontia]

So I mentioned how much I despise the Felhunter AI. It inspired me into "poetry." (Wasn't sure if this should be in the creative writing, or just here, since it's just general WoW shenanigans rather than anything genuinely meant to be writing ;P )

Ode to Bruudrom

O Bruudrom, my feldog

A warlock's best friend
Ripped from the Nether and fire and flame
So substantial and nutritious, so misty, so steep.

Would that I could say you were as reliable as you are ugly.
I was told that to summon a demon I would give up part of my soul
But really, sending you into battle is what takes its frigging toll.

I put you on Passive, and off you run; I spam that Passive key
and you don't give a parrot
(or a taxi, or any other noun, say that rhymes with writ or with luck)

I cry out "ATTACK!" whilst sapped, and I point at the rogue who is capping the flag before us
and you stare blankly
because you're a derpface

At least you will win a staring contest
until you are dead, anyway.
Because that is all you do. (I hate you.)

O Bruudrom

You are an idiot
You are never there when I need you
But you are over there, and that pillar is covered I guess

O Bruudrom

I tell you to Silence
My keybind is T
You roar in defiance...

Tell me, dear Bruudrom
Is T broken?
Why are you staring at the wall again?

(THERE'S NOTHING ON THAT WALL, BRUUDROM)

I try to silence from up on this ledge
So you run away and all the way around and down into the flag room
Why don't you understand line of sight
You are an idiot

Stuck in combat runspeed again
I'm mounted and running away
You are trundling off at the Berserking hut

I jump off the ledge
You are supposed to jump with me
You don't. Goodbye, Bruudrom.

Now I have to summon you again.
I hate you, Bruudrom.

I like to micromanage my hunter pets
But you are as if my hunter's wolf ate bleach and drank wood
And lived in a shack for a month breathing only the finest chemical fumes

Because you are an idiot, Bruudrom
Although sometimes I think it's deliberate
You are a demon, after all... perhaps this is to be my eternal torment

Or maybe you're just that stupid
And the worst part is
You still do more burst damage than me

O how I hate you

[Ana]

I LOVED THAT

Brilliant

you should stick that in fan art and creative writing forum

[Venataur]

hahahaha Very nice!! Love the eyes!!

[Azunara]

That's why Maxwell the Felguard > Any Felhunter.

[Wain]

That was hilarious And yes, deserves to be in the art forum

[Acherontia]

Thanks guys, lol. I actually finally gave up today & threw Bruudrom back. As a replacement, I summoned Khuunam from the nether, and he seems to be much, much better AI-wise. I don't know why. Don't ask me why. I know it doesn't make sense.

...But it's true >.> It's where it needs to be & obeys stances and commands, unlike my other idiot. Weird.