I need to rant about life

[Biggiy]

So I'm a bit scatter brained at the moment due to being on class 2 narcotics. If I jump around or change topics suddenly then the meds have kicked in full force.

From the start. I have a whole host of medical problems but they are all mild for the most part now that I've had them corrected. I have funnel chest which is where the chest caves in. I've had my chest reconstructed twice and the second time around worked much better. I've also had both of my shoulders reconstructed(not at the same time) and I just found out last month that I have connective tissue disorder which is why my shoulders needed work. It also explains a lot about my heart and the problems with that. The CTD is a mild case for now and I see my cardiologist once a year for testing and a general check up.

I'm also a firefighter/Emt-B with all the above mentioned problems. I've worked my arse off to get my certifications and there are times I've wanted to give up while in training and after becoming certified. Last June I started having problems with a bar in my chest from the surgery in 2007. Turns out that my body was starting to reject the bar and it had to come out early. I go on medical leave for a week to have the bar removed and recover. There were some complications post-op including a hematoma and syncopal symptoms. I also have vasodepressor syncope that hasn't surfaced in 5 years but the symptoms are there.

The problems started to get worse and worse every day. I met my now fiancee while I was sick and even ended up in the ER one night because I was having an attack. I have situational depression and there's a chance I have anxiety. Turns out that it was my environment that was making me have the attacks. A high stress environment is not good when you have the problems I have.

I have been off work for almost a year and a half now. I've been stuck in the house day after day with the same routine. In June my fiancee and I were kicked out of the condo we were living in with my mom and little sister. We actually were looking at houses a few months prior but Anastasia's hours were cut and I had no income since I didn't qualify for unemployment at the time. We were given 3 days to get out so we moved into her mom's house with my dog and geckos in tow. Unfortunately we had to leave my cat behind because Anastasia had her two cats here already and it was going to stress Rosey out even more.

After we moved I gained almost 15lbs in two weeks, my appetite was back in full force, I was walking Roxy a few miles every day and sleeping much better at night. I still couldn't go back to work yet because my left shoulder needed to be repaired. I had my shoulder reconstructed September 16th.

I'm so close to going back to work but I'm still so far away. I'm stuck in the house every day still and in quite a bit of pain at times with my shoulder. It's the same routine day after day and I'm stressing out at times because my unemployment was denied even though I have just cause. I have WoW to help keep me somewhat sane and I've got my fiancee who has done a phenomenal job at taking care of me when I was sick or after surgery.

I'm tired of sitting at home day after day. It's screwing with my head because I've got cabin fever and even though I'm starting to walk Roxy again I can't do much else with my arm in the sling. I am ready to get a job in the ER, get my paramedic certification and get on full time with a fire department. I feel slightly better now that I've ranted but this pain medicine is making me head spin at times. It feels like another syncope attack but it's the medicine working. I will say that playing WoW has been a real help over the years. This was how I started in WoW after my friend always talking about it. I even wrote an article about it for WoW Insider.

http://wow.joystiq.com/2010/08/07/break ... -as-rehab/

To those brave enough to read this whole post have a cookie.

[Teigan]

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[Saturo]

:hug:

Seconded.

I hope things work out. That doesn't sound very fun at all. D:

[Dragon616]

I can relate to how you feel, least with reconstructive surgeries. I got hit by a car not that long ago, and I still have internal bleeding and joint issues. Glad your still mostly sane and in one piece though, thats something at least right? *noms on cookie*

[Biggiy]

I can relate to how you feel, least with reconstructive surgeries. I got hit by a car not that long ago, and I still have internal bleeding and joint issues. Glad your still mostly sane and in one piece though, thats something at least right? *noms on cookie*

Um ouch? I hope they have the internal bleeding under control and it's nearly stopped. That makes my syncope and heart problems look like a carpet burn compared to what you're going through.

The biggest thing that gets to me is that I'm home all day, every day. Every now and then I can get out but being stuck at home all day makes my mind wander from here to Saturn. I've contemplated leaving the fire service and going into computers but at the end of the day I couldn't give up my career. What is cooler than driving a big red fire truck with lights and sirens? Not to mention having two days off and sometimes 3-4 in a row.

[Worba]

What is cooler than driving a big red fire truck with lights and sirens? Not to mention having two days off and sometimes 3-4 in a row.

Being a big red fire truck with lights and sirens, of course.

Seriously though - much respect for all firefighters and EMTs.

Things will get better, hang in there!