Kaleos wrote:Ranting aside you should always go with what YOU find comfortable for yourself, not what society or peer pressure tells you.
*nod* Very good advice.
Also, damned hard to follow.

I know that it sometimes seems way too easy to blame things on 'our culture', but the truth is that it can be very difficult to get past the things we have been trained into accepting as our core beliefs.
I'll use myself as an example: I am autistic. Among other things, that means that I tend to absorb social rules and cues less easily than some. I was running around my neighborhood naked until I was almost 9 years old because it was more comfortable. (And I would have kept it up if my mother didn't explain that the guy across the street had been arrested for owning child porn a few years back -- and then explain to me in incredibly graphic detail what that might mean for me, because otherwise it wouldn't have made an impression.) I don't shave my legs or, usually, my armpits. I don't want children (and I had my tubes tied to guarantee that I don't). I'm non-monogamous and my self-conception of myself is genderless. None of these things strike me as odd or rebellious in any way because ... well, because I am almost completely oblivious to the social cues that mark these things as odd.
(Note: None of these things are autistic in and of themselves, and I know many who share similar beliefs who are not autistic. The combination of all of them together indicates an obliviousness that is one sign pointing towards autism, and for me happens it to. But really I am just trying to give a snapshot only of how oblivious I am.)
And yet ...
Yesterday my husband and I went to Target to buy a game for him. I was uncomfortable walking through the store and I couldn't figure out why at first. But then it suddenly hit me -- I was wearing a tank top, and I was afraid that someone would be offended by my fat arms.
Seriously. I'm underwent an expensive and painful surgery because I find the notion of children disgusting, but I was afraid someone at a Target in Florida would be offended by my fat arms. That's some serious social conditioning there.