So my family lost someone today

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Qinni
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So my family lost someone today

Unread post by Qinni »

My dad's mother has passed away today in the afternoon. I'm not sure how I feel. I loved her but she never treated my cousins, brother and me right. I know she was being tough only yo teach us how hard life was. I did cry with my dad for a while since its he and his sister that are hurting the most. Anyways...at least she isn't hurting more. :c
Last edited by Qinni on Mon Aug 19, 2013 1:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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cowmuflage
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Re: So my family lost someone today

Unread post by cowmuflage »

:hug: It's always a bummer when a family member dies even if you did not like them.
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Qinni
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Re: So my family lost someone today

Unread post by Qinni »

thanks for the kind words. i know a part of me loved her.
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Re: So my family lost someone today

Unread post by Lupis »

I had a similar experience recently with an uncle I wasn't particularly fond of, but he was my mom's brother and she took it hard. I'm really sorry for your loss.

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Wain
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Re: So my family lost someone today

Unread post by Wain »

I'm sorry :(

I think one mistake people often make when a family member dies is over-analysing their feelings and worrying if they're not feeling sad enough. You feel what you feel. It's ok to not be a blubbering mess. :)

It's also much how their death affects you directly. When both my mum's parents died I was sad, but didn't really cry. When my dog of 15 years died I was a blubbering wreck because she was my companion.
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ashdawn
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Re: So my family lost someone today

Unread post by ashdawn »

Wain wrote:I'm sorry :(

I think one mistake people often make when a family member dies is over-analysing their feelings and worrying if they're not feeling sad enough. You feel what you feel. It's ok to not be a blubbering mess. :)

It's also much how their death affects you directly. When both my mum's parents died I was sad, but didn't really cry. When my dog of 15 years died I was a blubbering wreck because she was my companion.
kind of off topic to the actual post but: my aunt passed away when I was like 9 from cancer, she was my dad's sister, now to be fair i've never liked my dad and he did some personal bad things but I just wasnt sad, she lived in Ireland came over once a year and i saw her every 2 years for a day or so. I felt bad that I wasnt feeling sad enough but in the end I decided to just show my feelings that I didnt know her, but the statement you've given me "I think one mistake people often make when a family member dies is over-analysing their feelings and worrying if they're not feeling sad enough. You feel what you feel. It's ok to not be a blubbering mess. :)" will help me a lot on future because I highly fear death and the death of others.

I wish I could help by saying I can relate to this but I just cant, im really sorry for your loss, I hope you do feel better soon, I cant say I know how you feel but I can 100% say I know EXACTLY why you feel the way you do, I never knew my aunt and ill admit I was sad, not the point of crying but I was sad nonetheless, if you know them, generally you will be sad when they die.

again, sorry for your loss.
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Re: So my family lost someone today

Unread post by Mozag »

Wain said it better than I could.
I am glad you are there for your father though. :hug:
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Re: So my family lost someone today

Unread post by Makoes »

I am not good with words, so I'll give you many :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

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Re: So my family lost someone today

Unread post by Castile »

Qinni wrote:My dad's mother has passed away today in the afternoon. I'm not sure how I feel. I loved her but she never treated my cousins, brother and me right. I know she was being tough only yo teach us how hard life was. I did cry with my dad for a while since its he and his sister that are hurting the most. Anyways...at least she isn't hurting more. :c
Sorry for your loss Qinni :( I kinda felt the same when my Aunt died. I only met her once when I was 19 and she had MS and was in a wheelchair. She was also a control freak grump and spoke to my mum and other aunty quite rudely. I didn't hate her but I didn't connect with her either. I sat with my mum when she died and hugged her but I didn't really cry. I felt glad though that she wasn't in pain anymore (the inability to move made her last few weeks not nice we were told).

Like Wain I think I was more upset when my cat died. I also lost an "aunt" (not really related but a close friend of my mums) to cancer a few years ago and I was beyond upset at that. I had known her since I was a little girl etc. So i think it depends on how you connect to a person to how you feel when they pass, theres no 'wrong' way to feel. :hug:

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Re: So my family lost someone today

Unread post by Dewclaw »

Sorry for your loss. :(
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Re: So my family lost someone today

Unread post by Lisaara »

Aww, Qinni...I'm so sorry! :< Sometimes even if you don't care too much about someone, death has a way of making you cry.

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Re: So my family lost someone today

Unread post by Ana »

:hug: :hug: :hug:
Sorry to hear it... :hug: :hug:

not sure what else to say but :hug: :hug: :hug:

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